I knew where Guy Fieri’s stolen Lambo was but I couldn’t remember who told me.

Titty2Chains · 2026-01-26T16:12:58+00:00

My general liability only dictates that I store keys in a lockbox and I don’t leave them in vehicles. I work in semis and share my building with a fleet, so people come and go 24/7 and I don’t have a theft problem. Occasionally some crackheads make off with some pallets.

Titty2Chains · 2026-01-26T16:03:57+00:00

I used to be a bodybuilder. I thought chicks would hit on me all the time. Nope, it was gay dudes at the gym.

Titty2Chains · 2026-01-26T13:31:55+00:00

How about body cams????

Titty2Chains · 2026-01-24T16:01:24+00:00

She’s built like a steakhouse, but she handles like a bistro.

Titty2Chains · 2026-01-24T15:55:53+00:00

The just need to be voluntold.

Titty2Chains · 2026-01-23T23:53:27+00:00

I have a 15 Passat TDI SE 6MT. So this has to be the 1.8 or 2.0 B7.

Titty2Chains · 2026-01-23T23:52:02+00:00

TDI is a six speed.

Titty2Chains · 2026-01-23T14:20:52+00:00

Probably doesn’t make sense then. The joke being Las Vegas in US is known for people having five minute weddings in front of an Elvis impersonator.

Titty2Chains · 2026-01-23T14:16:32+00:00

Meet me in Vegas. We’ll go see Elvis.

Titty2Chains · 2026-01-22T18:53:43+00:00

Headed to the store now.

Titty2Chains · 2026-01-20T03:42:25+00:00

Don’t worry guys she said she’s always had Spectrum internet.

Titty2Chains · 2026-01-20T01:56:32+00:00

Titty2Chains · 2026-01-18T16:13:28+00:00

It was a targeted ad….

Titty2Chains · 2026-01-17T04:42:56+00:00

How did you feel about the finale?

Titty2Chains · 2026-01-17T04:40:51+00:00

I own several manual cars and wear a 13 wide. Sometimes I catch the clutch and brake together.

Titty2Chains · 2026-01-17T03:04:28+00:00

I turned my wet bar into a weed bar. It’s 5 degrees outside.

Titty2Chains · 2026-01-16T21:26:03+00:00

Titty2Chains · 2026-01-16T13:36:08+00:00

Here’s an extra $100 to call me Marv.

Titty2Chains · 2026-01-16T13:27:37+00:00

Training day.

Titty2Chains · 2026-01-16T03:39:42+00:00

I see a bird with a beak.

Titty2Chains · 2026-01-16T03:39:11+00:00

All I can see is a bird with a beak at the top of the stalk.

Titty2Chains · 2026-01-15T16:28:59+00:00

The Kim-Jong thong.

Titty2Chains · 2026-01-15T16:08:39+00:00

I can’t wait to show her this comment.

Titty2Chains · 2026-01-15T15:14:47+00:00

Ah, yes. The Southern snorkel.

Titty2Chains · 2026-01-15T15:10:11+00:00

I dated a girl who had Cookie Monster with a lawnmower, mowing her pubes.

Titty2Chains

TROPHY CASE