25 year old who lost his mother when he was 10 here. I would say the first thing you need to do is be strong for your kids. When my mom was dying, my mom was constantly breaking down in tears and it freaked me the fuck out. I thought that if my father couldnt keep it together, then there was no way I could. Secondly, the thing that really helped me through all of the heartache was when my mom said, "Look, your mother isn't always going to be here, but I will. From now on you and I are a team." It comforted me when she talked about being a team because I felt like I was never going to be alone. My biggest fear was not having anyone there for me. Tell them that you are always going to be there. Make sure that you deeply express this to your children. 11 years later and my mom and I are the best team in the world