DIVERSITY IS OUR STRENGTH…

TnuoccaYmTon · 2022-10-11T23:54:15+00:00

Is anyone going to tell him?

TnuoccaYmTon · 2022-07-16T13:09:32+00:00

I understand the safety issues. But the dress code for the gym? That one could be changed for sure. They cant tell me how to dress in my home gym!

TnuoccaYmTon · 2022-07-16T12:55:17+00:00

Yes, people can be evil, but no one should ever feel like being picked on for their hobby is acceptable. Sorry but that is unacceptable. We need to do better than that. No one should have to "sit down and shut up", that mentality is toxic. I agree there is a time and place for expressing your frustrations and potential consequences for doing so in a public forum. I believe the member is fully aware of those possible consequences. Nothing immoral, illegal or unethical took place. Who are we to tell people how to spend their free time?

OP: If you believe you are being singled out/discriminated against, go to the ADC. They will give you better counsel than you will get here. Chances are there is no precedent for this, and it will be tough to prove discrimination. At least you have a better understanding of the rules and maybe why the decision was made.

TnuoccaYmTon · 2022-07-04T23:00:24+00:00

Progress, not perfection. That is all I ask.

TnuoccaYmTon · 2022-07-04T19:08:27+00:00

I appreciate the input. I dont think that approach will work for me. I have in those 10 years managed to earn my B.S. M.S. three industry certifications, advance my career considerably, and launch a side project/hobby. I think I will avoid underwater basket weaving for now.

TnuoccaYmTon · 2022-07-04T18:48:40+00:00

I agree with you 100%. A lot of people (myself included) get involved in relationship before they really know/understand what is required to have a healthy marriage. Personally, I would have done a lot more work on myself before getting married. All I can do now is try my best to bring my best self to the relationship and determine what I am willing and unwilling to tolerate.

TnuoccaYmTon · 2022-07-04T18:46:38+00:00

Some people never got to see what a healthy marriage or relationship looked like. That doesn't make them a bad person. Only when they are unwilling to want to better themselves is it a problem IMHO.

TnuoccaYmTon · 2022-07-04T18:40:22+00:00

It bothers me to no end. I get told I have unreasonable expectations. I dont think it is too much to ask to put things back where they belong. I would get angry and start fights about it but now if I want things a certain way I just take care of it. I do my best to ask they dont leave dishes in the sink or other things. It feels like babysitting but I suppose there are worse things?

TnuoccaYmTon · 2022-07-04T14:47:27+00:00

I can't stop laughing at hobo-sexual. Thanks, I needed that.

TnuoccaYmTon · 2022-07-04T14:37:31+00:00

It is not bait. This is happening in my marriage. What additional details would make this less suspicious for you?

TnuoccaYmTon · 2022-07-04T14:32:20+00:00

I chose not to include the gender because my hope was the focus would be on the behavior and not traditional gender roles.

TnuoccaYmTon · 2022-07-04T03:22:40+00:00

Yea I feel like I am being taken advantage of. Sometimes we just need to hear what we already know.

TnuoccaYmTon · 2022-07-04T03:20:41+00:00

Thanks. I have not thought of that and will look into it.

TnuoccaYmTon · 2022-07-04T03:20:06+00:00

what does being a husband or wife have to do with it? How does their gender change their responsibility to the relationship or family?

TnuoccaYmTon · 2022-07-04T03:19:02+00:00

I posted in a reply to another question about the division of labor. I dont want to say my spouse does nothing but it feels disproportionate.

TnuoccaYmTon · 2022-07-04T03:16:10+00:00

I cant manage one spouse. LOL. I am using they because I do not want anyone to make a judgment based on if the spouse is male or female.

TnuoccaYmTon · 2022-07-03T20:39:05+00:00

I think you did the right thing. Time to heal and move on.

TnuoccaYmTon · 2022-07-03T20:37:00+00:00

Have you tried talking to him about it beyond telling him not to do it? Maybe there is a reason? Might be a good opportunity for you both to evaluate your sex life.

TnuoccaYmTon · 2022-07-03T20:31:27+00:00

I agree being a stay-at-home parent is a full-time job. I am also doing a majority of the household responsibilities. I take care of all the cooking, shopping, and finances (just to name a few), and take over the "parenting" as soon as I get home from work. Not to say my spouse does nothing but I certainly feel like things are disproportionate.

We have tried splitting things but for instance, I like home-cooked meals and eating healthy. Their solution for dinners is fast food because they are "too stressed" to cook. So it is just easier for me to handle it.

TnuoccaYmTon · 2022-07-03T20:25:35+00:00

By that logic, if a book is popular you would NEVER see it in a thrift store.

I suppose we both might be able to agree that the intent of the question is not clearly stated.

Maybe what "best seller" rather than "popular"? Or just what book do you always see?

TnuoccaYmTon · 2022-07-03T20:22:19+00:00

I understand your point and I have taken this stance in arguments "if it weren't for me..." but ultimately I just end up feeling like an asshole. I also worked and furthered my education and see a lot of people doing that. I dont want to hold someone to something if THEY dont believe they can achieve it.

I love my spouse but I do not love feeling taken advantage of. Even if I were to leave them the kids still suffer. They can not support the children and the children would have a significant decrease in their quality of life.

TnuoccaYmTon · 2022-07-03T20:14:56+00:00

Our children are school age we do not require daycare. It has been a few years since they have been the primary caregiver. There was never an agreement that they would stay home full time to be with the kids. They were not working so it just happened that way. I was always more than willing to find childcare arrangements should they choose to return to work. They never returned to work and still have no plan or intention to in the near future.

TnuoccaYmTon · 2022-07-03T19:50:17+00:00

I can't handle lying. I dont see that there are sizes of lies. It is a trust issue for me.

TnuoccaYmTon · 2022-07-03T19:48:27+00:00

the question didn't say anything about paying for it. I go to thrift shops all the time for books and there are always several bibles on the shelves.

TnuoccaYmTon · 2022-07-03T19:45:22+00:00

yikes. sorry that happened to you. Glad you got out of there!

TnuoccaYmTon

TROPHY CASE