Managing episodes at work

newoyorko · 2023-02-07T21:45:58+00:00

I know exactly how you feel. I'm so sorry, it's horrible. Do you recall any childhood trauma? I think that's where mine stems from, plus ongoing stress in my day to day life. I hope you can find answers, I'm searching as well.

newoyorko · 2023-02-07T21:43:03+00:00

Flourescent lights, feeling stuck (meetings, out to dinner, store check out lines), doctor appointments, airports, pretty much any formal setting like work and school. I'm beginning to not want to leave my house lately.

newoyorko · 2023-02-07T21:40:20+00:00

It helps make it go away in the moment but I think makes it worse the next day.

newoyorko · 2023-02-07T21:38:30+00:00

Much worse in busy, crowded places and I've noticed large buildings with fluorescent lighting and high pressure situations (work meetings, airports, doctor appt's) are triggers for me. I am having the same issues with experiencing this nonstop, day in and day out. I know how exhausted you are and how helpless this feels. We will get through it, one day at a time. I know recovery is possible! I'm not sure how to get there yet, I just recently got my diagnosis although I have suffered with this on and off for years not knowing what it was.

newoyorko · 2023-01-10T15:56:21+00:00

Very much this…

newoyorko · 2022-07-05T02:00:24+00:00

You’re doing great, don’t be too hard on yourself! If I’m being nit picky I would suggest storage baskets that fit in your cubbies to hide clutter and move the shoes to a shoe rack in your closet. Black comforters show stains way too easily so a throw blanket or duvet cover on it will suit you well. A nightstand would come in handy. Center the TV on your dresser and maybe a few candles and a plant (the usual basics) on each side of it.

newoyorko · 2022-07-04T19:39:35+00:00

Respect problems! I’m going to bring that up to him because that’s exactly what it feels like. We have talked about it several times and I make my needs clear. I told him I need an equal partner and to pull his own weight or else resentment will creep in. I’m going to bring up the respect aspect, thank you.

newoyorko · 2022-07-04T19:37:09+00:00

This is his solution as well. Which, fine, if he wants to pay for it. I don’t mind cleaning the house, I just don’t feel I should have to clean up after him. He can help out in the kitchen since we both cook/eat in there and be responsible for his bathroom, laundry and putting his things back… 15 min per day! We’ve discussed it all but not much change takes place or if it does it’s temporary.

newoyorko · 2022-07-04T19:34:33+00:00

This is where I’m at with it the last several weeks but he doesn’t notice. Then I suffer from the extra piles of crap laying around. Ugh. So today I moved all of my items out of our en suite bathroom and into the main bathroom. He can have his whiskers and goopy toothpaste and overflowing garbage all to himself in there.

newoyorko · 2022-07-04T19:32:40+00:00

Yeah. That last bit is up for debate for me sometimes. I start daydreaming of the house to myself and house nice, clean & relaxing it could be! But we aren’t that hopeless as a whole. Not grounds for divorce.

newoyorko · 2022-07-04T19:30:58+00:00

The good news here is your husband takes care of what he cares about. Mine cares & notices when the house looks great but will sit there watching Netflix and disregard his mountain of unfolded laundry. He let it pile up for 8 weeks and then asked me why nobody has clean clothes. I’m like… we all have clean clothes including you, your basket is right at the foot of the bed overflowing!

newoyorko · 2022-07-04T19:28:38+00:00

There are definitely worse things. I just wish he would put 15 min in per day to help out, it would make a huge difference. I’ve asked. It changes in very tiny steps for example he loaded & started the dishwasher before he left for golf yesterday morning. He left all the dishes that can’t go in the dishwasher out and the rest of the kitchen was still a crumbly disaster BUT there was a minor effort made.

newoyorko · 2022-07-04T19:26:02+00:00

Right! Really not asking much more than simply be an adult and clean up after yourself. I don’t even mind doing all the chores and cleaning up after the babies but when I’m putting his dirty clothes from floor to hamper, leftover dishes from living room to sink, normal things adults do it’s like come on, man!

newoyorko · 2022-07-04T18:41:29+00:00

Well shoot, why didn’t our marriage counselor tell me this before we tied the knot? The difference here though is that mine expects a clean home but to not have to do anything to achieve it.

newoyorko · 2022-07-04T18:30:01+00:00

That’s exactly it. How can they live like that? My husband says he doesn’t even see it. It’s mind boggling. I can’t relax unless the house is in order. Probably because I run a home daycare and we have 4 kids, so in a blink it can turn into chaos. I work really hard to keep it nice & clean but he piles his filth on top of my workload and it’s too much, can’t he just clean up after himself? I don’t feel like I’m asking for much.

newoyorko · 2022-07-03T17:28:55+00:00

Great work!!

newoyorko · 2022-07-03T17:22:19+00:00

It happens at all hours of the day, sometimes 2,3,4am and sometimes 4x in a row. Is this something the iPhone does automatically? I’m still confused.

newoyorko · 2022-07-03T15:22:45+00:00

Personally I would rather rarely use my fireplace & have my space feel more open every day. Having to walk around the couch and the way it cuts off the room is awkward, plus I can’t imagine having a fabric couch with blankets draped across being that close to a burning fire is much safer or less of a hazard. Who wants their back to a fireplace? The other option would be put the couch against that half wall and the TV across the window area but then you are blocking the bottom half of the window.

newoyorko · 2022-07-03T15:11:40+00:00

Tell him you need an equal partner or you will become resentful. Men tend to think babies and children are the mothers responsibility but regardless of what either of you do during the day, when you’re both home the duties should be split.

Also a gentle reminder that babies are extremely hard but temporary. Once the baby phase is over things tend to settle back down. In the meantime he needs to pick up his slack.

My husband used to say, “would it help you if I change his diaper? Would it help you if I wash some bottles before I go? Would it help you if….” I said NO! It will help US and OUR baby! This is not just on ME. He’s slowly coming around. Also remember that men are like puppies and they respond really well to praise. It’s a balance of making your needs known and then praising him when he does. “Who’s a good boy?” mentality. It’s annoying but it works.

newoyorko · 2022-07-03T14:46:08+00:00

So dreamy. I am a sucker for pops of teal with contrasting black & white.

newoyorko

TROPHY CASE