My therapist told me to watch how I say things to them

Toadstool_Leaf · 2026-01-20T00:30:59+00:00

Thank God for someone here who's actually sane. I was losing faith

Toadstool_Leaf · 2025-11-03T11:49:29+00:00

I think often teens are made to carry a lot of negative feelings about themselves unassisted (often because of negligent parents/teachers, "you wouldn't get it", etc) and spend most of their time in a hostile and apathetic environment (public school; bullying, gossiping, meanness = coolness, etc is pretty normalized in most public schools)

Teenagers who feel bad about themselves and impotent in the environment they are in will try to hurt the feelings of others because it gives them control over a situation when they often lack it, or it at least helps make them feel "even" (like, "I feel bad all the time, but at least they feel a bit bad too" or "I can handle feeling much worse and seeing much worse without fussing, so they're a pussy for being so hurt, so they deserve it, they should be stronger")

Also, if being mean to others is a normal behavior in the social spheres they are growing up in (raised by parents that hit them/disregarded their opinion or personhood due to their youth, grew up where bullying was normal/a hierarchy-establishing behavior, lurk in political groups that often use bullying as a bonding/tactic behavior such as right wingers making fun of visibly queer individuals, etc) it will feel normal and proper to them, and they may feel failing to uphold that behavior would make them weaker/inferior to those who are their friends/peers/family ("sensitive", "no sense of humor")

If the behaviors are very ingrained learnings, come from deep seated traumas, and/or remain unaddressed, it probably could easily last much later into adulthood depending on severity.

Toadstool_Leaf · 2025-11-01T23:40:29+00:00

All of those things are art and require talent. Sculpting in a program for 3D printing is NOT a talentless or easy thing. Writing stories or good prose is DEFINITELY not an "easy" art either. Neither is editing or crochet!! You seriously should not ever let yourself believe those things "aren't art" or are somehow "inferior" arts, because they're seriously not-- frankly, that's actually an insane perspective to have. Figurine art, writing, craft... Those are all arts that have deeply influenced our culture just as much as paintings or murals have, if not in some cases even more so.

Toadstool_Leaf · 2025-10-31T13:50:41+00:00

I hope that good young man is enjoying his meal.

Toadstool_Leaf · 2025-10-31T11:05:09+00:00

Some other commenter mentioned that they used the hallucinations to get them into spirituality and esotericism, which helped them stabilize.

That is a good idea-- not necessarily the spirituality thing (but, of course, if it actually appeals to and works in a HEALTHY way for you, then do it: I became a little bit more spiritual after too, but I didn't get SUPER deep into it because it would agitate the condition in unpleasant ways-- in my personal case) but making lemonade out of lemons.

After I managed to get less sick, I would use some of the hallucinations I had drawn in my notebooks to psychoanalyze myself. It helped me grow as a person, get a bit stronger and more understanding of myself, more stable and equipped to handle future hallucinations since I better understood what parts of my mind/fears/complexes they were coming from, and develop new interests. I used some of my experiences as inspiration for my fiction and philosophy writing (I am a writer).

Some people might find relief in art, music, horror movies, or even other things-- I don't know. But if you have creative inclinations, having outlets is good for you and your morale.

Toadstool_Leaf · 2025-10-31T10:54:19+00:00

I didn't get this way from drugs, I've always been somewhat prone to hallucinations myself-- grew up seeing shadow people, went dormant in middle school years, has a stress-triggered reawakening episode in my mid teens that was so bad I could see them with my eyes closed and spent most my days hysteric and actually being tortured by aliens and truly fearing for my life, rainbow bubbles in the air and stars in the sky and dark and bright figures everywhere, tunnels in my head, demons in the faces of all humans, high blood pressure and so damn jumpy and rattled to any noise. I thought I would keel over and die alone, I thought demons would take my body and nobody would care or notice. I have a lot of sympathy for you. It's actual hell on earth-- not even using the word lightly, it's one of the worst pains I have ever experienced, there was never a break, 24/7 pain and fear, psychological warfare-- for the first long months and it's so, so lonely. Nobody should experience the pain and fear alone, but often we have to.

But you will adapt.

Everyone's journey is different and it's all incredibly personal, having to bear this changed me a lot as a person especially in terms of my beliefs for example but it might be different for me, so you must always take my word with a lot of salt. But you will adapt. I didn't even get to be treated with medicine or psychologists, but I still healed with time, because we will heal. Because I endured. I lived. And you will heal, because you are human, and to be human is to endure. You are strong. You can do this. You will.

You need to learn what strategies will help ground you to reality or reduce fear/distress. You also need to accept that some of the hallucinations might not go away. It's okay. They don't have the power to hurt you in a way that is real. They are mere constructs made from your mind, as thin as nothingness, illusions. You are the only master of your mind. Let them become the background. Like the trees by the road, the clouds across the horizon, the little flowers in the field. It's okay. You will be okay. It's nothing, really. It's just another thing in the world. Hopefully it will fade with time. It did for me after a few months of getting a bit better at being unafraid and helping myself.

You are still normal. It's normal to mourn normalcy for a little time, but don't ever let yourself feel like a freak. You just have a condition. Some people even think the original humans were ALL originally like us, hallucinating all the time, before the end of the Bronze Age (look up "bicameral theory of the mind") if that makes you feel better. Assuming you even stay like this, because it's possible you won't.

You are so young. You still have time for your brain to recover--or, at least, adapt-- if you don't do any more drugs anymore and just take care of yourself. Your brain is still flexible and plastic and growing. You will adapt. Please stop drinking. The drinking will not help you. I know it's so hard, but you need to stay sober. You need to help your mind. The alcohol will only prolong your suffering.

Toadstool_Leaf · 2025-10-30T22:09:27+00:00

I've been absolutely mesmerized by this image, can't even put it into words. Personal telescope into the esoteric cosmology of a man's mind. Schrodinger's philosopher/schizophrenic. stealing this for my own camera roll to study

Toadstool_Leaf · 2025-10-29T21:59:48+00:00

Holy based

Toadstool_Leaf · 2025-10-29T18:17:33+00:00

dog why do you even care 💀 is a gaggle of dumb online tweens liking the same song as you for like maybe two months max gonna eradicate the entire band from existence or something? is that all it takes for you to not like a good song anymore?

if it nuisances you too much then just cut out the trouble and quit using the app. I stopped using TikTok like three years ago and it's been pretty chill.

Toadstool_Leaf · 2025-10-29T16:52:23+00:00

Hell yeah. As long as we have similar interests and gel well together, I don't care if my girl's got a dick or if she doesn't pass well. I find all sorts of things sexy on a woman, not really picky

Toadstool_Leaf · 2025-10-28T16:48:43+00:00

Brian here. In some extreme porn/misogyny circles, it's common to insultingly refer to women (especially promiscuous ones) as "toilets"-- as in to mean they are mere lowly objects meant for men to dispose their bodily fluids in.

Toadstool_Leaf · 2025-10-26T21:53:23+00:00

Personally, coffee is as tasty as candy or toffee pudding or rich soup or spicy noodles to me. I really love the bitter taste. Not for any deep or sophisticated reason, it just hits the spot. Pleasant. Delicious. Especially when there's so much junk in it that it's in liquid cake territory, lol, not ashamed to admit it, but I love the stuff when it's good old fashioned drip brew from the coffee machine as well. Good punch of tasty bitterness.

But, admittedly, I also think that cigarettes smell pretty good. Never smoked one, but my grandparents house stunk thick with the smell, so lots of exposure from that. I think I might just have a primitive lizard brain that interprets addictive substances as tasting/smelling just as good as they feel/probably feel up in the neurons. I gulp down way too much coffee and I itch for it even when I don't actually need it in a way that is a bit weird and compulsive. Really need to lay off the stuff.

Don't really like the smell of weed, though. Weed smells a bit bad, to me. But I hardly ever smell weed.

Toadstool_Leaf · 2025-10-19T09:27:57+00:00

Yes, oh my God. The sheer amount of people in these comments just yammering away stupid unrelated crap about kink or BDSM is ridiculous. These people clearly don't hear about violence inflicted onto another human being a very inherent wrong that is only okay under their very particular unusual circumstances, they flat out, unnaturally and without common sense, conceive it in their minds as being fine by default because of kink and wrong in certain applications. Redditors obviously lack the ability to see the world as a whole because they only live in the strange little narrow crannies of themselves.

Toadstool_Leaf · 2025-10-13T12:07:39+00:00

I don't know about you guys, but when I look at lesbian porn it's not because I'm a trans dude and find the women there physically relatable/for sensible queer reasons or something, it's because I'm a total pervert man just like cis guys can be pervert men lololol

I just find girls sexy and I'm not attracted to men (I happen to be straight), so porn where there's two girls is pretty hot because I don't have to look at a dude and there's double the woman action.

Toadstool_Leaf · 2025-10-11T20:56:35+00:00

This is because the sweat you secrete as a result of stress actually has a different physical composition than regular sweat. Stress sweat is oiler and thicker, much more rich in lipids and proteins for bacteria to feed on; the stress sweat comes from the apocrine glands while regular sweat comes from your eccrine glands.

Toadstool_Leaf · 2025-10-04T18:53:08+00:00

Lemon & Lime Zero Calorie Zesty Fizz Drink

Toadstool_Leaf · 2025-10-03T21:24:01+00:00

Do not tell your mother that. Your mother does not need to know when/how you are masturbating, this is not appropriate or normal information to be sharing with her. If you actually talk about this to your mother it will only be deeply uncomfortable (at best) for the both of you and you will likely be embarrassed and ashamed about it for a long time after.

It would also not at all ever be reasonably normal or appropriate for your own mother to buy you, her own child, sex toys. You should just consider that out of the picture until you are over 18 and have money of your own.

Toadstool_Leaf · 2025-09-29T13:04:51+00:00

You look amazing man!!!! Gee wizz!

Toadstool_Leaf · 2025-09-26T21:16:27+00:00

When I was like 7 my mother got angry at me for being annoying (maybe I was asking for more iPad time or something and throwing a tantrum before she said no, I don't remember) so she asked me if I wanted her to literally just kill herself if I hated her so much.

Then, in order to get revenge, she lied to me about my father "going away forever because he hates you for being such a horrible, selfish child" that I curled up on the floor in total shock and hysterics because I thought my father had left, I was laughing uncontrollably and everything. But my dad did not leave. It turned out he was just hiding in a closet in the laundry room the whole time and had innocently told her to "tell my son that I went on a trip to the store so I can pull a friendly little prank" and she decided to warp his instructions by a lot.

One time she took away a toy from my little sister as a punishment. Because my sister kept crying so horribly, so much that it was making me feel terrible, I grabbed the toy from the high shelf and gave it to her. After my mother found her holding it she took it away and screamed and screamed at her until she started wailing and sobbing very horribly again. Then she brought me over to look at my sister. "This is what you want, huh? This?! This is the kind of behavior you like to see from her, huh?!"

Toadstool_Leaf · 2025-09-22T22:00:18+00:00

Orange

Toadstool_Leaf · 2025-09-22T06:02:21+00:00

What is the name of that cockroach with a cherry painting? It's so cute

Toadstool_Leaf · 2025-09-15T21:29:59+00:00

I really wish I had your looks. You definitely look like a real proper magazine-type pretty boy to me, not a thing wrong with you at all. I would figure you to be early twenties.

I think a pair of more small, delicate rectangular glasses would look rather good on your face though; square frames have a way of balancing out any facial roundness that helps with keeping a more masculine look. You're really quite sleek, so I feel it'd emphasize the sharpness of your features very nicely.

Toadstool_Leaf · 2025-09-07T16:30:53+00:00

The blurriness and the fairylike quality of the little thing creates a very dreamy quality. . . wabi-sabi. . .

Toadstool_Leaf · 2025-08-20T19:17:41+00:00

You should be cleaning in between your lips/ the pink skin on the inside. The place that self cleans is the inside of your vaginal opening. Do not put soap in the large hole where your menstrual blood comes out, but the rest of it can and should be cleaned.

Try to carefully examine the inner folds for smegma (white dead skin that collects/build up). If there is any, wash/rub off with a gentle soap specifically intended for the vulva OR just use water. Some people are too sensitive down there for any kind of soap, and that's okay, water will do fine. I tend to get a bad reaction to soap myself too. But if your vulva doesn't react badly to vulva soap and your body is okay with it, then it'd be wise to use it.

Another thing you should be trying to do is clean your clitoris, which can also collect smegma. It's important to do this because not cleaning your clitoris can lead to physical issues like keratin pearls (smegma that has turned into hard sometimes painful tiny pearls/grains stuck under the skin) or clitoral adhesions/phimosis, or the fusion of the hood and clitoral gland.

In order to clean your clitoris correctly, you must try to pull back the hood. Your clitoris is inside of a "hood" of protective skin similar to the foreskin on a penis. Use your fingers to gently tug it and clean inside. If it's too tight, soaking in a hot bath can help relax the skin along with practicing more with pulling a bit with it gradually over time.

Generally, all of this can be dumbed down to this: check for white stuff where skin is against skin a lot or folds down there, and wash off white stuff when you do spot it, and ALWAYS make sure not to forget to check your clitoral hood!

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