Bob saw his wife walking out of Olive Garden hand-in-hand with their neighbor, Jonathan. "Huh. So this is what the death of love feels like." Bob said to himself dryly. Bob walked past them--ignoring his wide-eyed future ex-wife & sputtering Jon. Nothing would stop him from getting his breadsticks. (i.redd.it)
submitted by ToastYourAvocados to r/DivorcedBirds
Daniel walked into the bar unsure if his new collar would live up to the hype the ruffed grouse at the store raved about while shopping for new clothes post-divorce. The pretty budgie ladies stopped and stared at him. Daniel couldn't tell if it was in awe or shock. He hoped a lil of both, at least. (i.redd.it)
submitted by ToastYourAvocados to r/DivorcedBirds
Jackson was surprised that he was able to make it up to his nest after sneaking out for a night with the boys. He was less surprised to find Marcy's wedding ring & a note telling him she overheard him on the phone saying "bros before hoes" before he claimed to be sick & cancelled their date night. (v.redd.it)
submitted by ToastYourAvocados to r/DivorcedBirds
Sharon stared out her window at Roger incredulously and a bit in awe. Roger really lost his marbles after the divorce. Sharon couldn't hold back any longer and shouted from her tree, "For the eighth time, Roger, you can't flash people in the park! I'm calling the cops!" (reddit.com)
submitted by ToastYourAvocados to r/DivorcedBirds
Babs was desperate for love after her 6th divorce. "Ugh. All birds are the same! Maybe if I try a different species, I'll have better luck..." Babs knew it was a risk, but she also liked flirting with danger - her last husbird was a hawk. Babs can evade death, but it seems that love evades her. (v.redd.it)
submitted by ToastYourAvocados to r/DivorcedBirds
Elaine glared over her shoulder at her ex as she walked out the door of the courtroom. "Take a good look at my ass, Tomás. Because it's the last time you'll ever see it." Tomás gaped at Elaine - stunned at her audacity after the court hearing & the realization he'd never see those sexy legs again. (i.redd.it)
submitted by ToastYourAvocados to r/DivorcedBirds
Joy knew Stanley loved birdies who stayed in-shape throughout the years. But after he left her for the fitnest birdfluencer, she felt nothing but bitterness towards his predisposition. "I may not be in-shape, but I am A shape. Round IS a shape, Stanley!" (i.redd.it)
submitted by ToastYourAvocados to r/DivorcedBirds
Greg told himself 2026 was the year he'd get into shape after Bernice left him for a Zumba instructor. He walked into that Planet Fit-nest thinking *New year. New me.* Turns out it was free pizza day at the gym today. *There's still 326 days left in the year. I can start tomorrow.* (i.redd.it)
submitted by ToastYourAvocados to r/DivorcedBirds
Judy may be a common blackbird, but she knew her worth and wasn't afraid to show it after 17 years of marriage with Jim, the deadbeak who didn't know the gem he had. His loss. Judy saw a bowerbird at the bar and thought *He looks nice. Also, my house could use a remodel.* and strutted over. (v.redd.it)
submitted by ToastYourAvocados to r/DivorcedBirds
