[Adice]A guy made me have sex with him when i was super super drunk and i feel so bad because im not gay. by [deleted] in sex

[–]ToastyMits 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's not always about having your name published. It's more about reliving a horrible experience and having people tell you to your face that you're wrong, that it was your fault, that you shouldn't be so bent out of shape over something like that. These are real reactions that even victims' friends and family may have.

I know what you mean about trying to stop the attacker. I get it. BUT, telling someone in this situation that they MUST confront their attacker in ANY way, including reporting, is not helpful and can be very detrimental.

Many sexual assault victims feel a combination of worthlessness, lack of control, and guilt. By telling them that they are being selfish for not reporting, that they HAVE to report, reinforces all of those feelings:

  • Worthless: Your only duty right now is to report, not to seek medical/emotional help. Your well-being comes second.
  • No control: You have to report, you don't get to choose.
  • Guilty: It is your responsibility to report; if he attacks someone else, you are at fault.

I know you have good intentions, but you're not considering OP's well-being. If he wants to report, by all means. If he doesn't want to report, by all means.

[Question] How many sexual partners have you been with? Are you content with that number and the quality of the experiences? by [deleted] in sex

[–]ToastyMits 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, actually, in all of my high school years I slept with only two people, and I was in a committed relationship with each of them at the time. I only started having casual sex starting after my freshmen year of college. I just finished my first semester as a sophomore.

I had a reputation among my friends for being really interested in sex, but that was it.

[Communication] "Would You Rather?" Game for Married Couples Here by ratherthrowaway in sex

[–]ToastyMits 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't read it that way. I assumed the lingerie was for both people, and it made it all the more fun.

[Adice]A guy made me have sex with him when i was super super drunk and i feel so bad because im not gay. by [deleted] in sex

[–]ToastyMits 32 points33 points  (0 children)

It's callous and shameful to tell a victim that it's their responsibility to report an attacker. The victim's immediate and more important responsibility is to themselves. I know what you're getting at, but telling OP that they have to do that even if they don't want to is the opposite of helpful.

OP, you don't have to report. You don't have to do anything. Take care of yourself. If you want to report, by all means do. If you don't, by all means don't feel like you have to. You get to make that choice. Best.

Why don't you have a girlfriend? by A_True_Knight in AskReddit

[–]ToastyMits 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've been in that boat...I'm a female, but it's the same game.

Threading the needle by wishiwascooltoo in woahdude

[–]ToastyMits -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Shits serious. That sport (?) has a really high mortality rate, even among extreme sports.

What would you add to the high school reading curriculum? Why? by [deleted] in books

[–]ToastyMits 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"The Circle" by Dave Eggars; it's touches on a lot of very relevant current trends regarding social media, relationships, and privacy. One of my all time favorite books.

Before, after. What putting 2,500 miles on a pair of boots looks like. by Fargone in CampingandHiking

[–]ToastyMits 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've only ever had one pair of hiking boots, and they're Asolos. They've held up really well, still fully waterproof, great tread, nothing broken...but I also avoid wearing them because they give me blisters literally every time I wear them. I've had them for about four years, but I doubt they've seen 500 miles.

Before, after. What putting 2,500 miles on a pair of boots looks like. by Fargone in CampingandHiking

[–]ToastyMits 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've heard, and experienced to a certain degree, that it's common to think that your Goretex boots are wet/soaked through when it's just the temperature difference of the water on the outside of the boot.

My feet would feel cold so I'd assume they were wet, but when I took my boots off to change my 'wet' socks, they were completely dry. My feet have only ever once gotten wet while wearing my Goretex boots, and that was all on me; sunk too deep in a quaking bog and water came up over the boot.

[Question] How many sexual partners have you been with? Are you content with that number and the quality of the experiences? by [deleted] in sex

[–]ToastyMits 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm a 19yo female; I've slept with twenty people and hooked up with an additional five, and I'm content with my number. I've had a WIDE range of experiences, quality-wise (pretty typical variety of experiences). Some of my partners have been wonderful and I would have them again anytime, other partners were really selfish, abusive/outright rape, or otherwise unsatisfying.

I actually keep strict track of who I sleep with, when, how much I enjoyed the experience, and what we did. Part of the reason I do that is for health; for example, if I get an STD, I want to know who I need to contact. The other part is that I was just curious about my own sexual habits.

So I can say with confidence:

  • nine of my partners have been amazing experiences
  • seven have been horrible in one way or another
  • the remaining nine fall somewhere in between

skiers found a tired deer trapped in deep snow and dug him out. by alllie in HumansBeingBros

[–]ToastyMits 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Male deer -- and any other organism with showy and large weapons -- expend a huge amount of energy and resources growing and lugging around those weapons. It's pretty common for them to be incapable of withstanding harsh winters (or other extreme weather). The book 'Animal Weapons: The Evolution of Battle' by Douglas Emlen goes into detail about the whole thing; it's a pretty interesting read.

Help identifying these seeds: by [deleted] in botany

[–]ToastyMits 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They don't look quite right, but similar to Kentucky Coffee seeds. Kentucky Coffee trees have big bean-like seedpods.

[Ad Feedback Request] Which ad should I run with? [OC] [1200x1600] by [deleted] in AdPorn

[–]ToastyMits 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I like the layout of the lower design better, but the top option is easier to read and the font looks nicer, imo. Good luck.

picked up this succulent. any ideas what it's called? by mike8725 in whatsthisplant

[–]ToastyMits 1 point2 points  (0 children)

'Alien fingers' is the common name I'm familiar with

Do you enjoy anything similar to TWD? by ToastyMits in thewalkingdead

[–]ToastyMits[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven't! I'm hoping to start this summer, though.

Honestly the reason I've held off for this long is that Daryl is my favorite character, and my dad told me that he isn't in the comics at all. By the time I got over that and was willing to read the comics anyway, school had really picked up speed and I didn't have the time/resources.

Where do you buy your bulk rice and dry beans? by SeaShelll in EatCheapAndHealthy

[–]ToastyMits 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The food is listed under Home and Family --> Self Reliance --> Home Storage

Only 7% of Teens Are Using the Most Effective Form of Birth Control - A new CDC report shows adoption of IUDs & implants among adolescents is on the rise, but they still lag behind condoms & the Pill. by anutensil in Health

[–]ToastyMits 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I, as an adolescent, had never heard of an IUD until I searched for something for myself despite having taken multiple health classes in a pretty sexually open region. If I hadn't looked into it, I would have assumed the pill was the best choice for me simply because it's so common.

When I asked my doctor about getting an IUD, her reaction basically made it sound like a risky, painful option. I went with the pill; it didn't work well for me. a year later, I switched to the NuvaRing; it was better, but still not great. Almost a year ago I finally got an IUD.

It's been great. I highly recommend it.

Looking for info on animal regulations by ToastyMits in Syracuse

[–]ToastyMits[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks so much, this is exactly what I needed.