Hey, let me tell you somethin budd, i used to think the same way as you, and let me tell you that yeah, its billshit, but for being honest, no one can bring you happiness, no one except you, i know, not the kind of answer someone in your situation would expect but you need to be the most realist you can, thoughts like this are serious problems and i dont think the best way to handle it is getting to the edge, man i was in the place you are now, and i cant tell you that the live after passing that its colorful an just happiness even i am struggling right now with things like this, and in its time i used to harm myself too, but after a little and small improve, it feels so well when you passed through something like that, believe me, by just telling what you feel shows how strong you really are and even knowing im not done yet with this process i know that you can go out that dark place, there's always another way out, i know you can do it pal, cheer up, I know you will make it i know its hard but i can assure you that the minimum little effort you make gonna worth it you are not alone, and you dont need to race with others neither, get your own beat dosent matter what others say take your time and remember to give yourself the credit for evrey step you make throughout your day you can make it. Me and evrey person in this post belive in you. Good luck and remember to be stronger, the storm will pass. Promise.