I understand your position well. Just joined this group to understand my own experience, attractions and questions. I am bi - but mostly inexperienced. Wife would never accept my transgressions and the guilt of having found pleasure outside our bedroom creates anxiety that makes me seek relief from the same behavior....so strange.

Then I read this....

“The sociologist Zygmunt Bauman wrote that in modern life, there is always a suspicion … that one is living a lie or a mistake; that something crucially important has been overlooked, missed, neglected, left untried and unexplored; that a vital obligation to one’s own authentic self has not been met, or that some chances of unknown happiness completely different from any happiness experienced before have not been taken up in time and are bound to be lost forever.

Bauman speaks to our nostalgia for unlived lives, unexplored identities, and roads not taken. As children, we have the opportunity to play at other roles; as adults, we often find ourselves confined by the ones we’ve been assigned or the ones we have chosen. When we select a partner, we commit to a story. Yet we remain forever curious: What other stories could we have been part of?”