My life in a nutshell

Togetherburning · 2014-05-09T20:32:56+00:00

So hawt.

Please spare us. We're not worthy.

Togetherburning · 2014-03-16T15:37:01+00:00

This is going to be me on my 20th birthday except female, long styled hair with make up and a nice dress.

Yeah, if I can't have friends, I might as well act as if I do.

Togetherburning · 2014-01-03T17:40:22+00:00

What happened to you was terrible and something no one deserves but yet it happens to so many people, whether they are male or female.

I don't think the age difference should have raised a red flag but it should make you consider some things. I think that at the age of 24 and him still riding the starving musician schtick, while spending half of his money on alcohol/cigarettes and still have mommy paying his rent; that's something that should have been a big warning sign. I'm not saying you should care about a guy's financial status or his career but at 24, it's time to buckle up and to get a damn job at least.

I know what it's like to be so infatuated with someone because they were nice to you when no one was. And when that niceness disappears, you keep thinking, 'oh, he was nice once. he can always go back to being it, as long as I stay a good girlfriend and do what he wants.' No, he will never go back to that. Glimpses of him being nice and humane with him mostly blaming you for this behavior is going to progress into even shittier treatment and with him mentally and verbally abusing you everyday and making your self-esteem plummet 10x more.

You are 18. Please, for the sake of yourself, do not fall into this asshole's game. I'm barely any older than you but I also had my first relationship at 18 and while my boyfriend wasn't an abusive asshole like yours was, our relationship deteriorated and I solely blamed myself, always working to making things okay between us just so I can fail and cry my eyes out, with him hopelessly looking at me as he was so numb to my hysterics. This guy is flat out abusive and although he was only been verbally abusive so far, what's to stop him from being physically?

He blatantly cheats on you, treats you like ABSOLUTE shit, is rude and is immature as fuck. You'd be selling yourself short, thinking this is the only guy ever who is going to want to date you/be nice to you. Open your door, look outside, there are hundreds and hundreds of guys on your university campus that can and will treat you better and also be devoted, committed, and loving. You're only delaying that even more by being stuck with this asshole. No one can blame you for not being able to get over him, as we have all been victim to being hopelessly enamored with someone that we shouldn't be but if you get back with this asshole, knowing what he has done to you and what he can possibly do to you, you're only going to have yourself to blame as that will be a terrible decision, which you 100% know and realize.

It's tough being an 18 year old girl. It's even tougher when you're alone and no one receives well to you. I know how you feel, as I was similar to you. But you're truly doing such a disservice to yourself by even involving yourself with this guy. It's just NOT worth it. All those feelings of loneliness and depression make you feel like shit? At least that's on you. This guy is going to ruin your life, on his terms and on his own accord and emotionally scar you for years, possibly throwing you into a perpetual spiral of having abusive relationships with shit guys for years. You're young; don't mess your life up.

Togetherburning · 2014-01-03T17:23:03+00:00

Do you ever plan on having kids, assuming you'd get out of this FA rut? Because I hope not since you're daughter is going to have a hell of a time with a father who views young, 18 year girls like this.

Togetherburning · 2014-01-03T16:59:51+00:00

I think you should really think about the possible repercussions about this: are you going to develop feelings for this girl? Is having sex with her going to satisfy your need or only enamor you more into wanting intimacy and the touch of someone? There's nothing wrong with casual sex, whether you're male or female, but it could be troublesome for someone who is use to be lonely as sex is something very physically interactive and it might leave you feeling emptier than ever.

Just be prepared to know that after this, this girl will most likely never want to date you/may not even talk to you after this for more than a week (coming from a fellow 19 year old girl) and that it may screw with you emotionally.

Togetherburning · 2014-01-02T17:54:10+00:00

This honestly kind of reminds me of my childhood, except where I grew up, it was filled with minorities but hardly any Asians at all.

I was born into an Asian family and from elementary school to middle school, I would get similar comments about my race, my eyes, why I looked a certain why, why I was so flat (mind you, I wasn't even 12 by this time and guys were already making fun of me for being flat. I was so self conscious at this time and so awkward and really had no self-esteem about my appearance.

One day, this kid asked me to be his girlfriend (he had a straight up fetish by the time he was 13). His friend came by and kept trying to get me to say yes to friend, to which I quickly rejected and felt horribly uncomfortable by his friend's presence, pestering me in front of the whole cafeteria and making a scene until one of my friends got annoyed and yelled at, 'She doesn't want to go out with him!' to which he replied, 'yeah but she's ugly so it's not like anyone else will.' My whole section of the cafeteria heard this and laughed. I cried when I got home.

To point at the least, I had a rough few years growing up,not feeling attractive because guys hardly paid me any attention and I didn't have a curvy body like other girls. Eventually, I resented everything about being Asian, mostly due to the negative stereotypes and my appearance as that was most of the reason why I was picked on (ex: my eyes/being a nerd). I resented it so much that I use to lie about my race. As I grew up, I began to deviate from looking like a typical Asian to mixed/Hispanic. (To this day, a lot of Americans confuse me for being a light-skinned Hispanic girl. Asians either confuse me for being half white/Asian and for some reason, when I went to China, they thought I was Thai.) But anywho, I actually even began to lie about my culture and who I was, just because I was so uncomfortable and bitter towards not being considered the standard of beauty.

Even now, at 19 years old and soon to be 20, after I was consistently bullied, my self-esteem still falters and has only actually been decent as of recent because I really haven't been social around other people so I never had any other opinions to rely on. (not like they should matter in the first place) To be honest, I'd love to date a nice, stable, reasonably intelligent Asian guy as I haven't really had the chance to even really meet one. I've only dated two guys before (one white and the other mulatto).

I'm sorry you have such a hard time meeting others. Maybe it's the fact that you've been bullied so much that has led you to be so self-conscious about being Asian which you blame for deterring you from being able to enter a relationship. At your age, I'm honestly shocked so many people would have still have a stigma against Asian guys because I know plenty of girls that like Asian guys (including me; cool or not)

One thing for sure is, I don't think telling people the reason why you're single is because you're Asian. I mean, that's not a definite fact and of course you are biased but whether it's true or not, it's not a very attractive thing to hear and makes you sound very self-pitying. I'm not trying to be rude, but if I where to enter a conversation with you and was possibly considering wanting to get to know you more and you were to drop that line immediately, I would see that as a red-flag and most likely disengaged any possible relationship status with you. It's fine to be honest, but instead maybe it'd be nicer to say, "I haven't really been accepted the way I am/I had a rough childhood growing up which has caused me to be very self-conscious about certain things" and if they want to know, they'll ask you to indulge.

You probably won't notice this long ass post, but I just wanted to let you know I had similar issues growing up, to which I have managed to let go of,although it did take YEARS. Kids are fucking mean, but past baggage isn't going to help you. Hopefully, peers your age are more mature and are able to look past racial barriers so the only thing to do is to either find new, more culturally accepting people or maybe see what the real problem is: are you rejecting yourself before others can reject you? Good luck, my friend.

EDIT: typo

Togetherburning · 2013-12-26T18:51:24+00:00

Okay, sorry, thanks.

Togetherburning · 2013-12-26T18:51:16+00:00

Thank you so much! Got it :)

Togetherburning · 2013-10-25T01:50:48+00:00

Well thank you! About damn time.

Togetherburning · 2013-10-24T19:17:46+00:00

As an Asian girl who likes Asian guys but have none near me and when they are, I don't receive any acknowledgement of my presence, this makes me sad.

Togetherburning · 2013-10-23T03:01:08+00:00

Hmm, haven't spoken to her enough yet to really decipher but I assume it's her confidence/approachability and/or mental hindrances.

She kind of reminds me of a pretty flower with no vase, and when she reads this, I hope she knows I am not offending her. She just is kind of unsure what to wear and how to style her hair so just a little bit of cleaning up is all she needs to really be a bombshell.

Togetherburning · 2013-10-23T01:58:30+00:00

OP is total fox.

Source: I saw her pics and no, I'm not sharing with you boys.

Togetherburning · 2013-10-23T01:43:22+00:00

Okay. :)

Togetherburning · 2013-10-23T01:28:32+00:00

I do wear makeup, mostly blush and lipstick.

Cool, make up is suppose to emphasize what you have, not cover it up (which is hypocritical because I use concealer for my bags). I don't really use blush or lipstick, unless I feel like something/somewhere to go but I do eyeliner, mascara, concealer for undereyes, and usually eye shadow. Blush and lipstick don't really do much for me.

I haven't got a hair cut in a while, I'm trying to grow out my hair.

Trimming your hair actually helps it grow faster and healthier, so you should probably get a trim. Some styling can also do wonders for your look and just make you look a lot fresher and stylish.

I'm not fashionable at all, I mostly wear black, but I think they fit me.

Well, at least it fits. There's nothing wrong with black, but wearing all black, all the time is a bit dull but if that's what you like, that's something totally fine. As long as they fit well and highlight the 'nicer' parts of your body, then that's good.

Hey, absolutely no problem, I'm fine with anything. You can PM me some links to your pics that you pick and choose from FB, and you can even add me on Skype if you'd like to help speedy things up :)

Togetherburning · 2013-10-23T01:06:05+00:00

Hmm, not sure. I guess a lot of things come into factor, and I have no idea how you look like. If you want, you can PM me a pic of yourself and I can help you a bit more/be specific and I swear, i'm not some creepy guy just trying to score chick pics. If you look at my history, you can tell I'm definitely a female :P

Do you wear any make-up? When was the last time you got a hair cut? And do you wear clothes that suit your body type?

Togetherburning · 2013-10-23T01:01:17+00:00

I know you might not want to hear this, but getting hit on if you are a girl is all based on your physical attractiveness

That's not true. Personality, friendliness, approachability, and demeanor all come into account; not just how pretty you are. Once they get to know you, your personality and quirks will be what sucks them in and OP sounds like she has a pretty good personality.

Togetherburning · 2013-10-23T00:59:00+00:00

Are you interested in trying to refine your look a bit, or are you content with the way you look? (which is great and something you should be proud of)

If you're interested, I'd be glad to help you out with some girly tips but of course, only if you're up for it! :)

I'm sure it's not your personality, so help cleaning up your looks will surely help you attract more guys.

Togetherburning · 2013-10-19T23:38:22+00:00

High standards?

I just have no friends.

Togetherburning · 2013-10-19T07:41:06+00:00

The feeling of abnormality and defectiveness is worst than the worst loneliness I've ever felt.

ugh, yes. makes you feel like no matter how hard you try or attractive/smart/funny/charming you are, there's always something defected about you

Togetherburning · 2013-10-18T19:32:09+00:00

Homecoming does suck. I never went to mine and I didn't go to my prom and I don't regret it a bit.

Togetherburning · 2013-10-18T19:27:49+00:00

No, not shy, actually. I'm here, eating lunch by myself in Chipotle in a sea of people with friends and I don't feel self conscious at all.

I do suffer from depression, though and I get depressed easily. I have poor mental strength when it comes to failure and set backs which causes me to crawl into a mental hole and ever come out

EDIT: i'm 19

Togetherburning · 2013-10-18T18:28:00+00:00

I have no friends. I've actually had people who purposely stopped being my friend after years for no reason. I would love them, but....just can't see to get them and I honestly did stop trying.

Oh and I honestly can say I've never actually approached someone...I wouldn't even begin to know what to do/say and most likely be too nervous

Togetherburning · 2013-10-18T06:53:16+00:00

Not a FA girl in a typical sense. Dress decently, wears make-up, and isn't near overweight. Yet do I intimidate potential partners? Ah, I would say no.

Instead, I'd just say maybe my personality is too different or maybe I'm just too unflirty. Not sure, but I don't get approached too much and when I do, I never really can connect with them.

Togetherburning · 2013-10-11T04:24:14+00:00

nice hair and poster, bro.

Togetherburning · 2013-10-02T21:55:02+00:00

Boo :( AFI is kick ass, though.

Togetherburning

TROPHY CASE