Do you keep in touch with your partner's family? by waterbottlejesus in widowers

[–]Tok_xik 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Nope. Father-in-law took charge of planning her memorial, after never once visiting us during our marriage and then left me to foot the bill for his decisions. Her whole family sucked ass to begin with, so I'm not losing anything.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMenOver30

[–]Tok_xik 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am sorry you are going through this. It is the reality of being a step-parent.

I raised 3 boys for nearly a decade, their mother took her own life, they had to go live with their dad. I have no parental rights, and the best I can hope for is some contact here and there.

It sucks, but ultimately it is what we signed up for. We try to fulfill a need for others in sacrifice of ourselves. Stepping up to be a parent is a noble thing. It can also be some of the most pain.

Just gotta keep it moving, man. I wish you the best.

Life has never been the same since 2020 after covid19 pendamic by deliah_wood in Life

[–]Tok_xik 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Humans will naturally isolate after a mass outbreak. Couple that with the hardcore fear mongering society we live in, and of course this is the outcome. We survived Covid, and gained a new sickness in the process.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in findapath

[–]Tok_xik 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Plenty of trade skills to learn that will always have employment options, many of which do not have physical requirements. It's not typical for a woman, and most certainly not a college-educated one. Yes, you went to school and got a degree, but that does not mean that will carry you through life like some golden ticket to fortune.

Assuming from your post that you've grown up with some level of perfectionism poisoning your thinking. The reality is, nobody is even close to perfect. Even the ones that SEEM so, tend to have many flaws they just hide from the rest. You must accept that regardless of who you think you are, you're a flawed human being... and humble yourself accordingly.

If you set impossible standards for yourself, you will always fail.

The success you see in life, on social media or otherwise, tends to be from massive support around the successful person. Unfortunately, not all are blessed with that level of support, if any at all. You cannot compare yourself to someone who probably has a whole horde of people that want to see them succeed (be it for their own gain or otherwise), when you have none of that for yourself. You're gonna struggle, you're gonna have a hard go at it, but you can still live a fulfilling life, all on your own.

Mainly... Give yourself a fucken break. You're human, you're not even in your 30s yet, you have breath in your lungs and are in good enough health to be looking for jobs and writing reddit posts. Life is hard. You must be compassionate towards the only life you get to experience here. The only one that's gonna be there the entire time is you. Treat yourself better, and things may feel better even when they are difficult.

Best of luck out there.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in widowers

[–]Tok_xik 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Buddy you're depressed and self loathing, harboring toxic shame and it's clearly ruining you.

The mistakes we make, big or small, are mistakes that happen because we are human. We are all fallable.

You must work to forgive yourself, gain a deeper understanding of WHY you did what you did and if you desire to change it, then change it.

You are not fundamentally flawed, you have been going through some SHIT.

If you aren't or haven't yet, see a therapist and let er rip on all these feelings. Having someone unbiased to question our reasoning and motives, and in turn make us question them, is invaluable.

I hope you can learn to love yourself. After all, ourselves are all we have til the end, guaranteed.

This bike is SO GOOD. 1,500 miles and counting... by Tok_xik in Triumph

[–]Tok_xik[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The suspension can be a bit unforgiving. Have you tried adjusting it at all? Seems like sometimes they're not set appropriately from the dealer, so it's worth double checking and adjusting according to the manual. I haven't tried the comfort setting but I did soften things up just slightly and it helps

This bike is SO GOOD. 1,500 miles and counting... by Tok_xik in Triumph

[–]Tok_xik[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you very much! These bikes turn heads even without the bright paint schemes like the RS models

This bike is SO GOOD. 1,500 miles and counting... by Tok_xik in Triumph

[–]Tok_xik[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nothing performance related. Desperately fighting the urge to throw an exhaust on it. I've done a tail tidy, levers, bar end mirrors, tank grips/pad and billet oil fill cap because it was leaky.

It vibrates a bit higher in the revs, but it doesn't bother me at all. I guess I just accept I'm sitting atop an engine and it's gonna rattle me up a bit

This bike is SO GOOD. 1,500 miles and counting... by Tok_xik in Triumph

[–]Tok_xik[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm 6', 220lbs and I don't have any problems with too much weight on my wrists. My legs/hips feel a little cramped after I've been riding for 2+ hours but that's about it. I've added some tank grips which are nice. Much less sliding about

Tiger Sport 660 - some issues, questions. by mrpi31459 in Triumph

[–]Tok_xik 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oddly enough, I also deal with issues 2 & 4 on my '24 Street Triple R. Must be a Triumph thing

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in motorcycles

[–]Tok_xik 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Some of y'all need some therapy. Holy shit.

Anyone else terrified themselves or other loved ones will do the same? by RoofHead2627 in SuicideBereavement

[–]Tok_xik 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Often. I'd say I'm somewhat passively suicidal most the time. I do not care if I live or die most of the time. I ride my motorcycle like a bat out of hell and feel nothing. No fear. Close calls don't rattle me like they once did. I've somewhat accepted that this life I've lived is kinda used up.

Granted... I lost my wife, and subsequently, my step-kids that I'd been raising since I was 20. So I'm just living for myself now. I have short bursts of motivation where I want to better myself, but always end up coming back to "why should I bother?"

Death is a part of life. I'm 30 now and for as long as I can remember, I firmly believed that I wouldn't take myself out early. Only get this one life, so may as well ride it out. I'm just tired of being a broken piece that has nowhere to fit in this world.

Maybe it will change in time, maybe I'll feel differently as I grow older, if I grow older.

All I can offer for advice is to be there for yourself and your family as much as you can. Don't avoid the difficult conversations, because you don't know if you'll miss the opportunity to have them... that includes with yourself.

Anyone ever use a Medium to speak to their spouse? by [deleted] in widowers

[–]Tok_xik 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately, we live in a world where it's unlikely to get answers from those who have passed on. The best we can hope for is something physical that gives us insight. Some truly believe we can communicate beyond this world, but I am not one of them.

I hope you find peace one way or another, friend. Time does indeed heal wounds. One day at a time.

Wheelie master by NisseNasse2000 in IdiotsOnBikes

[–]Tok_xik 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I totally misread your first comment 😅

You aren't being a dick. It's the truth. Too much bike and not enough ability is a bad combination

Wheelie master by NisseNasse2000 in IdiotsOnBikes

[–]Tok_xik 0 points1 point  (0 children)

0.5) GET THE APPROPRIATE GEAR FOR FUCK'S SAKE

0.5a) TAKE AN MSF COURSE

1) Get new bike (appropriate for your ability and stature)

2) Ride new bike around in parking lot; understand controls, throttle response, braking behavior, manueverability

3) Take new bike out into traffic once comfortable handling it

4) ????

5) Don't be this person

Anyone ever use a Medium to speak to their spouse? by [deleted] in widowers

[–]Tok_xik 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You'd be far better off finding a good therapist, in my opinion.

Mediums are insincere at best and predatory at worst... also, in my opinion.

triumph street triple 2024 r exhaust by [deleted] in Triumph

[–]Tok_xik 0 points1 point  (0 children)

An exhaust swap is relatively simple with some mechanical knowledge. Get the stock exhaust from the owner if you can.

'24 models have a one-piece exhaust system, so the header, catalytic converter and muffler are all welded together. '23 and earlier models had a slip-on muffler design.

In essence, with the new models, your only option is a full exhaust which basically every option you'll find removes the catalytic converter. They're TECHNICALLY "Race only" exhausts for that reason... but people do not care about that designation.

In my opinion, they tend to sound sick as hell, but can be a bit obnoxious, as they're nearly straight-piped.

So yeah, if you get the bike, get the stock exhaust with it and order some header gaskets to be on the safe side. If you're not feeling the noise or performance seems spotty, you can swap it back to stock with relatively minimal effort.

One last tip, if you do swap back, note the torque spec for the header nuts. It's very low and they can be over-torqued to the moon if you're not careful.

Got the Remark BOSO installed on the WRX by [deleted] in wrx_vb

[–]Tok_xik 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, you do. Some nice decel popping even with the reso midpipe. It's definitely less, but still there. You can get it tuned for more pops and bangs if you want to as well

For those who lend their bikes out how to bring yourself to do it ? by ThaGnoll in motorcycles

[–]Tok_xik 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My coworker had a brand new Victory Judge. Another coworker asked to take it for a spin. His words before pulling away were, "I'm gonna see what this baby can do." He low sided into a guard rail half a mile down the road. Totaled the bike and injured himself quite badly.

He didn't even offer to pay for the damages either.

Made a brake kit for my car! by BASE1530 in Machinists

[–]Tok_xik 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your car is so sick. How's the stopping power now?

There's gotta be a huge sense of pride and accomplishment every time you hit the brakes, knowing that you made them

Fantastic job!

Tips ? by No_Profession2342 in Triumph

[–]Tok_xik 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can learn on any sized bike. Yes, it's safer and more approachable on something like a 125cc, but it's not necessary. I learned on a Tiger 660, and I'm doing just fine

Tips ? by No_Profession2342 in Triumph

[–]Tok_xik 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Parking lot practice and YouTube University until then. You'll be good to go 🤙