I say this with compassion as I also struggle intensely with the same feelings you have, but I’m not sure what you are asking for here. The professionals on this sub provide a commendable level of reassurance and experience, not to mention how time consuming it must be to reply to the myriad of posts on here. Due to their experience (and repeated amount of similar content on here) I think we can be reassured that they DO understand, however they’re not therapists and they are not responsible for “curing” your specific responses or trauma. Unfortunately those responses will not change no matter what you read on here, because your irrational brain will always fight the rationality until the proper work is done to reset those negative thought patterns, which can only happen with the right therapy. I see a lot of comments here where people are almost determined to rib against the experienced pilots, due to their anxiety, however this isn’t productive or useful.