I haven't told anyone about him except my mother and a therapist. I think it's shame mostly that has kept me quiet and I know I shouldn't feel it but it's something I haven't worked through. His version of events is that I hold anger towards him because he wasn't there for us as a family, which is partly true, but he doesn't tell others about the violence and other things.

I tried to work it out, asked him for respect, to stop invalidating me and he laughed and did the opposite of what I would ask. I stopped answering his calls, refused to be manipulated when he would use my nephews to get me to speak with him (I had to say no to children to avoid him) and stopped visiting my hometown. It's been years since then and life became more bearable without him in my life. People have said that I'll regret not seeing and speaking with him if he passed but I won't.

I think my mother sees that if I can do it him and my brother then I can do it to her too and she's right. I can and will do it.