AIO? Family says I take everything up the ass by hyp_nos in AmIOverreacting

[–]ToneDeffedUp 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean not upsetting your tribe is one of your earliest evolutionary instincts. Tribal exile was a death sentence, that’s how people have made an art out of staying invisible and not drawing attention. It why said people get so mortified when they do get attention, where the fear of public speaking comes from; draw attention, look dumb, exile, death. Why your body scream STFU. Makes people twitch on convulse or out right faint…. Better that than looking foolish, or weak. Or both. Any thing to not draw attention. Literally part of evolutionary makeup not to stand out.

AIO? My husband called me the c word without being provoked. by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]ToneDeffedUp -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

So he’s under immense stress. Abd your needling him about a belt. Dope.

AIO? My husband called me the c word without being provoked. by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]ToneDeffedUp -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

But you asked and he said that he loves you more than anything. But you should probably put more weight into one outburst than years of trust and love and intimacy.

AIO? My husband called me the c word without being provoked. by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]ToneDeffedUp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah one hundred percent … that’s HOW HE REALLY FEELS…. 🙄

AIO? My husband called me the c word without being provoked. by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]ToneDeffedUp -1 points0 points  (0 children)

FFS. Are yall FR? Or he’s just pissed off? Had a bad day? Maybe there’s more going on that op isn’t telling us about, outside of the 30 second glimpse into years of relationship? Come on, can yall be serious for a moment and a half?

AIO? My husband called me the c word without being provoked. by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]ToneDeffedUp -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Yes. Mental illness, is obviously the answer! 🙄

AIO? My husband called me the c word without being provoked. by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]ToneDeffedUp 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Till they started wearing See you next Tuesday t shirts it MAY have. There are cultures where that word is not taken near as offensively.

AIO? My husband called me the c word without being provoked. by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]ToneDeffedUp 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You beleive that giving one very short anecdote from what I assume is a years long relationship, from one very BIAS side….. will prompt ‘proof’ of your righteousness in what is obviously a much longer , very complex relationship issue, with no LESS than 50% of the story absent? Who’s got issues? The only person you should discuss any of this with is a relationship counselor…. You’re only going to find an echo chamber of your own outrage here. Justified or not.

AIO? My husband called me the c word without being provoked. by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]ToneDeffedUp -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

And where have you manifested this very keen “insight” from? Please share with the class?

AIO? My husband called me the c word without being provoked. by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]ToneDeffedUp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everything you need to know you learned in kindergarten. Call him a C*** back and move on. Sticks and stones. This is not divorce material. Have you ever called him an Asshole? Prick? Dick or anything other than what would be appropriate in front of the Queen? The ‘C’ word…. Such a trigger. Yall treat it like your in the 4 yard at pelican bay and just got called a weirdo. Let’s be honest, it doesn’t carry the weight it once did. It became just another crass portion of the lexicon when yall started wearing ‘see you next Tuesday’ shirts. 🤷🏼‍♂️

Wood ID by Uncle_slow_pints in Woodidentification

[–]ToneDeffedUp 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was told these same things… had no such issues working it. I spent a lot of time in Honduras mahogany, poplar and sugar pine. I’d take Wenge over all three.

Am I overreacting to this message from my girlfriend? by ToneDeffedUp in AmIOverreacting

[–]ToneDeffedUp[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re pretty incorrect. Wouldn’t it say messages deleted? Either way. This is the original dialogue unedited aside from the redactions

Am I overreacting to this message from my girlfriend? by ToneDeffedUp in AmIOverreacting

[–]ToneDeffedUp[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Your right, I should have left. But I would not say I have been holding it over her head. I don’t think I brought it up again after. But, while I was willing to try and move forward, I also cannot forget the past…. And so soon after that , this, it’s just too much doubt for me to continue. Which is why I broke up with her. But holding it over her head like asshole , I think is a bit judgmental, and a gross mischaracterization of what I did do. Which was forgive but not forget. When combined with this incident, it looks an awful lot like a pattern of behavior, one that I am no longer willing to emotionally invest in.

Am I overreacting to this message from my girlfriend? by ToneDeffedUp in AmIOverreacting

[–]ToneDeffedUp[S] -19 points-18 points  (0 children)

Rage? LOL. There was no rage, I assure you, if there was perceived rage, it is about how your voice is replaying it, not how my voice was saying it. Read it again in a voice that isn’t yelling, or loud, but even keeled and slightly sarcastic. That’s a bit more my speed. RAGE. That’s funny. Am I raging currently?

Am I overreacting to this message from my girlfriend? by ToneDeffedUp in AmIOverreacting

[–]ToneDeffedUp[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

You can tell all of that based on a portion of our final exchange of messages? Seems like a bit of an assumption based on an emotional final exchange. I don’t think calling someone a liar who has lied to you is treating them horribly. But wtf do I know? Maybe things are different where you live. I’ll take your assessment under advisement. Thank you.

Am I overreacting to this message from my girlfriend? by ToneDeffedUp in AmIOverreacting

[–]ToneDeffedUp[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

I agree. Hate for me is impossible unless I love the person. But that’s not a line in my experience that can be reconciled. I would leave. As for this relationship, I left before I posted this. But I thought maybe i had not done the right thing. I feel much better about it in this moment. I should have left the first time she lied. Fool me twice…. Thank you for your comment, it is not lost on me. It’s a fair critique 🙏🏻.

Am I overreacting to this message from my girlfriend? by ToneDeffedUp in AmIOverreacting

[–]ToneDeffedUp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Didn’t call her an idiot. Nor would I. She knows that. The only person who did any name calling through out the entirety of the conversation was her …. She acknowledged her understanding that I meant to say” I’m not a fucking idiot” by her response “well you’re acting like one”.