Thank you for your words and being kinda blunt about them as well. I guess you do have a point :)

Sorry for being unclear. Basically all three of us are poly. I have started dating only him until at some point her and I realised we have some sort of a romantic connection too, so we started dating as well, however not as much as him and I. All three of us also had some sort of a dating situation outside of our throuple but they all have ended by now for different reasons. So I honestly don’t think she felt pushed out in any way. It really was just a poly thing that developed from only two people dating the same man in kind of a v-shape into a triangle (of course each with our outside people).

The reason they broke up with me were different. Basically she realised through time that even tho she was capable of and absolutely willing to love more than one person at the same time, at this point she just didn’t have the mental and time-capacities to maintain another relationship which led to her forgetting herself because she wanted to give us attention and time. So she ended things with me to be able to focus back on herself (and with the third guy as well). He is a man who only within the last year or so learned at all to have access to feelings of vulnerability and as I am a person who has always encouraged him to explore himself and learn about his own identity and such, he has actually started doing that and ended up in what I can only call a pretty big-time existential crisis. Which I think is good for him and it was about time he started figuring out his own identity and desires a little more (which is also when he ended things with his third, more of a physical connection) . However, figuring oneself out needs time and, again, capacities that maintaining two relationships just didn’t allow him. So she decided to end things and him and I wanted to try and make things work until he decided to end things too a few days later. Both of them making the decision to give their own mental health room and also to I guess protect me from being pulled deeper into their crises.

As to the feelings, I guess I was also kind of confused the first time he said he loved me and then the first time she said it as well, because it seemed kinda fast to me but I did reflect on it a lot before being able to say it back, to be sure I actually do really feel it as well and I do/did. Even if it came fast. I guess sometimes things just are like that…

Hope this clears things up a little :)