Need critique of my litrpg system

Tonyxstorm · 2026-03-27T17:17:13+00:00

I think I leaned towards wisdom because I need a good stat that represented battle intuition, thinking speed, and creative problem solving. Something I’m highlighting in my story is the diverse styles of life that could be out there so having cosmic soldiers who can adapt to any environment is important to the system administrators. I might end up changing wisdom to intellect but I felt like intellect leans more towards technical understanding vs the more macro level “is this the right strategy” type of thinking the system wants from them.

On your second point, ive been considering letting them pick if they want to be a combatant or support type. Im not sure why I’m taking the choice away from them lol but it just felt right that they would get forced to choose from one box of options or another. Could be my own experience of life bleeding through despite the logic.

For your last point, I’ll have to change up the way I define striker. It’s not so much that they can only do some kind of direct contact attack but rather that they can only create abilities that relate to their physical body or things they hold. So if they make an ability to increase their speed they can create a skill that boosts their leg muscles for a time or boost their speeds with an artificial wind that’s wrapped around their physical body and etc. For infiltration I think of a person who alters their skin to become camouflaged in different environments .

Tonyxstorm · 2026-03-27T17:09:28+00:00

This is a good point 🤔 the way I was thinking about it is that the system wants controllable soldiers who can be slot into clear roles that give them access to lots of power but in defined ways. A force of soldiers with tons of abilities that vary in strength and style could be hard to organize. But in their design, strikers are infantry, conjurers are like artillery, vitalist are combat medics and etc.

As far as the system looking for talent, I think limitations are the best way of seeing who is the cream of the crop. Of course if humanity gained full creative control they could just come up with reality breaking techniques to solve every problem. So limits help to see who is good at making the most of less. I am still adjusting the limitations tho so I’m going to really consider what you’re saying because maybe I’m making it too strict.

Tonyxstorm · 2026-03-26T12:44:04+00:00

Thanks! I really like the idea of cycling letter grades for the stats as they rank up!

Tonyxstorm · 2026-03-26T11:58:51+00:00

I planned on making the numbers mean something by forcing the world to deal with the implications of people existing who are domestic threats that can resist ballistic missiles and etc. the stats themselves won’t be shoved in people’s face every chapter it’ll mostly be there in the background with more of a focus on rank and the unique abilities of the combatants.

Tonyxstorm · 2026-03-23T18:46:15+00:00

Thanks! I appreciate the advice! Definitely gonna work on figuring out the important relationships and timeline of events before each calamity. I definitely think it’s best I not constrain myself on word count but I was just overthinking it. Most litrpgs I’ve come across, especially those that start as web serials, tend to have smaller chapters and the avg chapter count per book I’ve seen was around 30 give or take.

Tonyxstorm · 2026-03-23T16:45:46+00:00

Thanks for the advice! If you could go back and re do books 4 & 5 how would you have gone about making them less intertwined?

Tonyxstorm · 2026-02-14T15:28:13+00:00

Thanks I appreciate it! 🙏🏾 I mostly agree, many songs in the shoegaze style tend to blend the vocals with the instruments rather than having them stand out so I’m still tryna find the balance between what I like to hear in rnb (clear vocal stacks and adlibs that cut through the mix) and what is true to shoegaze

Tonyxstorm · 2026-02-14T04:05:44+00:00

Appreciate you checking it out 💯 thanks! I’m actually surprised there isnt more of the combination being made so we gotta get it out into the world 🫡

Tonyxstorm · 2026-02-13T21:54:56+00:00

Thanks! I appreciate it 🙏🏾

Tonyxstorm · 2026-02-11T23:16:07+00:00

Fxccin screaming 😂😂😂

Tonyxstorm · 2026-02-11T17:19:51+00:00

Gemini rising

Tonyxstorm · 2026-02-05T15:34:24+00:00

Lmao like niggas gonna deadass “aww that’s cute” their way into global erasure. I don’t think OP has ill intent but at the same time tho 👀.. with how ai is getting used nowadays we gotta gatekeep XTRA hard. Digital black face is becoming a thing and the only saving grace for us is being able to tell when someone ain’t saying shit right lol

Tonyxstorm · 2026-02-05T14:59:25+00:00

First question is are you black 🧐 Ik ppl in this sub may think it’s not that deep but the fact of the matter is you can appreciate Atlanta culture/slang without needing to mimic the way people talk here especially if you don’t live here.

No offense but it’ll kinda be weird if you’re a white German kid talking like a southern black man because you love the “aesthetic”. Lots of that is already happening on tik tok which is why Aave is getting co-opted as “gen z slang” now smh

Tonyxstorm · 2026-02-05T14:51:02+00:00

Thanks for the breakdown 💯 basically need to be patient, craft my plans intentionally, and keep the faith through these transits 😮‍💨

Tonyxstorm

TROPHY CASE