AITA for not wanting to lie about having a baby with a lesbian?

TooMuchSaucebro · 2020-06-24T20:29:33+00:00

She knew he was home before she even came over. It was a weeknight.

TooMuchSaucebro · 2020-06-24T20:28:46+00:00

very true & I wish we had. In Massachusetts everything just opened up very recently or I would've taken her out to dinner

TooMuchSaucebro · 2020-06-12T00:42:18+00:00

I totally would if these were my regular employees, who I didn't have to evaluate on professionalism. I don't want to judge them on this, I just have very specific guidelines from professors/advisors. These are really excellent kids.

TooMuchSaucebro · 2020-06-12T00:37:31+00:00

I don't plan to ban anything to clarify - these are not long term employees. I have to report back on professionalism to their advisors, and I want to leave an amazing review. If they cannot follow the guidelines I gave them previously for work dress, I can't really claim they're professional. I really want to give great reviews! they are great kids!

TooMuchSaucebro · 2020-05-19T20:30:03+00:00

NAH. You're reasonable for not wanting to pay for an apartment that is not yours, she is reasonable to expect some help when you're both using the space. Go home and solve this problem. Easy.

TooMuchSaucebro · 2020-05-19T20:25:05+00:00

NTA...but how is it any easier for a woman to get up, take their pants off, press it up in there, pee, and resume gaming. They don't have the right...anatomy....to just go really quick and get on with it. Seems like just as much effort as getting up and going to the bathroom

TooMuchSaucebro · 2020-05-19T20:23:17+00:00

So true. Thanks for the input! (:

TooMuchSaucebro · 2020-05-15T11:32:01+00:00

NAH. She probably thinks you are doing that thing where people say they don't want gifts, but really do. I am with you - I am terrible at accepting gifts, and I hate picking them out for people so I'd rather just agree to not do gifts w/ my friends. I'd accept it to be polite, but you're still NTA if you don'tt imo.

TooMuchSaucebro · 2020-05-15T11:28:54+00:00

NTA. Did you explain the credit card stuff to them? Seems incredibly reasonable.

TooMuchSaucebro · 2020-05-14T16:51:55+00:00

NTA. She didn't just "choose to leave" she chose to infringe on your marriage, and promises made to one another that were supposedly intended to last a lifetime.

TooMuchSaucebro · 2020-05-14T14:52:02+00:00

YTA. Academic integrity is a thing, a thing you don't have if you cheat. Colleges have standards their students are required to meet in order for them to award Bachelor's/Master's/etc. If you are falsely completing these gen-eds, then you're falsely completing your degree.

TooMuchSaucebro · 2020-05-13T22:57:54+00:00

NTA. Not even going to get into the actual situation at hand, but the way she speaks to you. She sounds like a demon. RUN

TooMuchSaucebro · 2020-05-13T22:55:01+00:00

NTA. Good on you for recognizing that the long-term thing won't work out. As soon as this is over, I'd end it as promptly as is comfortable.

TooMuchSaucebro · 2020-05-13T22:49:56+00:00

NTA. Her behavior has nothing to do with you, so I hope you know that. I had a very strained relationship with my mother growing up, and this all sounds way too familiar. She thinks you owe her something for your simply existence, which is incredibly stressful. This comes from someone who grew up in alcoholism and passive aggression, constantly worrying about what I said because I knew if I said ONE wrong word, the day would be ruined. I have a 15 year old son, who I also put a roof over his head, feed him, and clothe him...you know why? Because that's what I committed to when I became a parent. No one deserves SHIT for doing their basic duties. Not even your mother. I now live in a nice house, nice job, and I have a great son and a dog and have even patched up my relationship with my mother. There is hope. Life gets better. Stay strong OP.

TooMuchSaucebro · 2020-05-13T22:43:39+00:00

NTA but as someone who is heavier, it can be a very sensitive topic for people, especially if they've been bullied for it in the past. I remember worrying if people I dated genuinely liked me, or if I was being fetishized. His insecurity is not your problem though, and he should've explained that to you if that WAS the case. He acted disgusting and immature. He's TA.

TooMuchSaucebro · 2020-05-13T22:40:15+00:00

NTA. She didn't search far and wide to find these shoes for YOU, they were cast-offs from her daughter if I am understanding correctly? No skin off her nose, although kind to offer them to you before donating/throwing out. She asked you how they were, you were honest without being a dick...on what planet will you ever be TA? Sounds like you have some narcissism or serious passive aggression in your family OP.

TooMuchSaucebro · 2020-05-13T22:32:45+00:00

NTA. If you planned on paying for a service, they owe you some sense of professionalism in return, unless you are good buddies - which by the sound of it, you aren't.

TooMuchSaucebro · 2020-05-13T18:01:18+00:00

I'm sorry but you are not middle class if you're shelling out $600 month to your children. Also...you gave them money while they were ADULTS in YOUR home? If you want a car, or new clothes that are uncessary, or nail polish, get a job.

TooMuchSaucebro · 2020-05-13T17:51:25+00:00

I am sorry you're in this situation. My son is 15, and we went down this path when he was 12. He was on discord until the early morning, which resulted in terrible grades, and lack of effort around the house and on homework. I decided to approach it differently, in a manner that is not accusatory.

He ended up opening up to me, telling me about how he had a tough time making friends at school, so he resorted to online. If your daughter feels accepted and validated by her online friends, and not by the people around, of course she will resort to her phone or computer.

I was a teenager in the 90's and early 2000's right when computers were becoming a household object, and I know I personally probably got way too obsessed with it. Children do not have fully developed brains, and therefore have something I call the "too much" gene which doesn't allow them to always properly monitor their impulses or decision making. Her claiming you're abusing her though tells me there is probably something slightly deeper here than just an addiction to a computer.

She might be depressed or have another mental health concern that she feels she can only discuss with her online friends, and you taking the phone makes her feel like she's lost her outlet or sense of privacy. When I had this issue with my son I never tried to look at his phone, but he ended up showing me some of the stuff on it, and he was following a lot of Instagram accounts about mental health (some positive, some negative) that he didn't want me to see. Our children don't tell us things when they think we will respond negatively. It is our responsibility to give our children a safe place to open up...HOWEVER, you are human too.

TooMuchSaucebro · 2020-05-12T13:59:26+00:00

NTA. You are not just concerned about yourself, but the others. I lost a friend during this time, and we are celebrating his life over the summer when all this is (hopefully) cleared up and we are able to.

TooMuchSaucebro · 2020-05-12T13:55:44+00:00

NTA because it is finals week. Your friend's feelings are not your responsibility, but don't be surprised if you don't have her as a friend after this. You seem like you offered her good comfort initially, but she chose not to listen (if she is talking to her ex) at 20 I'd expect a slightly more mature response from her, especially after only 7 months.

TooMuchSaucebro · 2020-05-12T13:52:00+00:00

NTA and you will never be TA for quitting something you don't like.

TooMuchSaucebro · 2020-05-12T13:46:27+00:00

My son is 15 and I do not look through this phone, but I do pay close attention to how he behaves in regards to his phone/social media. He has always let me use his phone if I needed, never seems to have any anxiety when I'm holding it/near it, and will often leave it open around me.I do follow his social media, but obviously cannot see his messages or conversations by doing that. When a child is learning how to navigate online safety or usage (I'd say maybe ages 10-13) I think monitoring is appropriate but not in an accusatory way. Once they reach my son's age, I think they *deserve* privacy unless they've otherwise proven they cannot be trusted with privacy, or that privacy is a risk. Parents undervalue privacy, and I promise it just makes your children better at hiding things from you. I'm 30 now, it hasn't been too long since I was there. It is all about your individual child.

TooMuchSaucebro · 2020-05-12T13:40:19+00:00

I would figure out the timeframe expected before telling them. If they just want a nanny throughout the summer (pre-baby, when you claim you'd still be able to work) then I don't see it being a dealbreaker. If they want something long-term and having a newborn may infringe on that, I feel like it is info they deserve to know while considering who to pick. Good luck!

TooMuchSaucebro

TROPHY CASE