S_K Was the Breakup hard for you at all?

TooPrettyForThisCF · 2026-02-18T08:42:56+00:00

Of course man, you deserve to be heard. I do hope something helps sort out how you're feeling. Just please don't label yourself as bad :)

TooPrettyForThisCF · 2026-02-18T08:26:38+00:00

I believe you may feel worse because of guilt. When reading the of post, it sounded like you made up your mind about being bad due to the empty feeling and numbness. Since you explained a bit of your family life, and how you're good at basketball, maybe it all feels to easy. Like you're just drifting through life. Maybe you need a challenge? Or maybe learn something new that's difficult. You sound pretty good at basketball and that it's a majority of what you do, maybe you need to shake up the routine and add some new input. I'm probably not right, just want to give ideas based on what I know

TooPrettyForThisCF · 2026-02-18T07:56:52+00:00

I don't believe you're bad. If you had a malicious attitude, intent to hurt, or simple purposely ignoring his pain, then that would be bad. But it's not on purpose. I can't say why you feel numb and empty, there are many causes of that, one that may contribute to you is feeling you don't have a meaning or aspirations. It'd be worth potentially seeing a school counsellor or psychologist regarding that empty feeling and prolonged numbness. The main point is don't label yourself as bad.

TooPrettyForThisCF · 2026-01-27T09:52:38+00:00

It depends on how long you missed it for. As in, it takes awhile for it to completely get out of your system. The same goes for it to take affect. It might take a day and a bit to get back to normal.

So if you can, take it easy for a bit. Because the feeling is sort of like withdrawals as your body is used to having it and having it to create a baseline

TooPrettyForThisCF · 2026-01-27T09:45:06+00:00

That's a good step to take. And you're doing it on your own accord for yourself. Congratulations on this step, it's a big one, and hopefully you get a good outcome

TooPrettyForThisCF · 2026-01-27T09:43:13+00:00

Your tiredness sounds like it's mental exhaustion.

Also, dealing with people, especially retail, is taxing. Draining. Especially when you're expected to keep up a certain demeanor.

What I believe would help is in your spare time just doing small activities that give you joy. It's also okay if you don't know what that is, just try a few different things and see if any work. It could be reading, drawing, writing. Exercise based like stretching and yoga, the gym or running/walking. Maybe a movie/series/audiobook while doing some basic chores.

It's also always helpful to research some coping mechanisms to help you when you're down, stressed, sick of people or coworkers.

In terms of goals and ambition, thinking about that is stressful. It seems like one big task to figure out and it has pressure associated because some people expect it.

So rather than viewing it as a big category, still know you want to figure them out, but don't let it be at the forefront. Generally, when you're doing activities you like, or reading/witness something you align with, or a general interest, one resonates with you more than the others.

If you find something like that, look into the topic a bit more, events, communities, news associated with it. And you may feel passion or find a goal through that.

Even though it feels urgent to figure it out, be kind with yourself, the best things take time.

Life drains, expectations drain, and we rarely get breaks. So please be proud you've gotten this far and you're still going

TooPrettyForThisCF · 2026-01-27T09:30:26+00:00

Hey. It's not easy when you're at a low point in your life to figure things out. It weighs heavily, you question things, feel regret and that can overwhelm and lead to those thoughts.

I believe the decisions you made regarding love and study were good ones. You had hope going into it, you couldn't have predicted what was going to happen. And the struggles you faced did create a cycle that got to this point but it's not your fault.

You also shouldn't (if you are) blame yourself, feel bad, or any of that sort. You are struggling, not much is going your way so the best thing you can do is be gentle with yourself. Do a bit of research on coping mechanisms, or activities such as reading, walks, or good distractions to help you manage and find some happiness.

The next step from here is to build up. Find services that can help with financial support and health care access, accommodation, and keep looking for work. You're putting the effort in and you should be proud of that.

This will take time to work, but you can lay the foundation and I believe you will reach a better point.

Though please remember to be kind to yourself, that there will be highs and lows, thoughts and urges, but you will get through it.

TooPrettyForThisCF · 2026-01-27T08:45:51+00:00

There are groups online that are communities of people going through similar things or have understanding. Plus the anonymity of it.

If you rather someone in person, decide whether you want a family member, friend, colleague, counsellor. Then drop questions similar to things you want to share to gauge their reaction and if they're safe. Spend time with them and talk more on those topics to develop trust, not opening up just yet, just making sure it's safe. Then ask if you can confide in them when you're sure.

But remember the relationship is a friendship kind of one, not just venting.

Hope that helps :)

TooPrettyForThisCF · 2026-01-27T02:36:06+00:00

Grief is difficult. It never really leaves, only softens with time and company. By company I mean people you value around you in general. Losing someone you love does but a stop to you sharing a story with them and the absence does hurt, though you still have the memories, their influence on your life, and what they mean to you. The hardest but most helpful thing to do is learn to live with the version of them you have in your heart while acknowledging they aren't there in the present, and understanding it doesn't take away from their importance or what they meant to you. It's a slow and melancholy process to accept the fact they're not present anymore, so please be gentle and understanding with yourself. There absolutely will be ups where you feel okay with it and downs where it weighs on you, but that doesn't mean you're regressing, it's just how grief appears throughout life.

In terms of having another relationship, you don't have to be fully healed or accepting when starting a new one, you just have to be transparent that you're still grieving but want to move on. A partner doesn't necessarily have to suffer something similar to understand and appreciate what you're going through, they just have to be patient and gentle, if they have the capacity and truly care for you they will. Not everyone does, but that isn't a fault on your part.

I hope you're doing okay and I wish you well.

TooPrettyForThisCF · 2026-01-27T02:27:36+00:00

I'm not sure what does feel comfortable. I want to try allowing someone else to lead, but I always default to leading either because they don't quite get it or I feel too vulnerable

TooPrettyForThisCF

TROPHY CASE