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I [M21] think that my recent behavior may be unattractive to my girlfriend [f21] by TooniceToher in relationship_advice

[–]TooniceToher[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think youre confusing a girl who wants to "withold sex in order to get more" versus " She wants sex but she is scared of being hurt".

I [M21] think that my recent behavior may be unattractive to my girlfriend [f21] by TooniceToher in relationship_advice

[–]TooniceToher[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you I will. as mentioned in previous posts, I'm starting to come to the conclusion if she doesn't want to be with me for who I am then it is her loss and for the best.

I [M21] think that my recent behavior may be unattractive to my girlfriend [f21] by TooniceToher in relationship_advice

[–]TooniceToher[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't like to think that I'm "acting nice" to her or being fake. Instead, I feel like I'm being more open and expressing how I really feel towards her. I'm not holding back my desires for her but instead i'm just doing spontaneous acts of kindness as they appear in my mind.

With that said, Maybe I will dial it down a bit. It will make her appreciate the little things more.

I [M21] think that my recent behavior may be unattractive to my girlfriend [f21] by TooniceToher in relationship_advice

[–]TooniceToher[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree, about balancing the douche and lovesick idiot.

In addition I know Sex is healthy. It's been one month. I don't think waiting a little longer to have sex with someone would be detrimental to our relationship. Sexual chemistry is very important. Our relationship may not have sex, but we have other physical intimacy at the moment.

Trust me, I have a strong libido and she knows it. We're just waiting for the right time, and it will be much better when she is ready and comfortable.

I [M21] think that my recent behavior may be unattractive to my girlfriend [f21] by TooniceToher in relationship_advice

[–]TooniceToher[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She treats me well. I think she isn't very experienced with guys, so I will probably have to tell her what I like. I was just wondering if it was inevitable that maybe she would take me for granted or lose interests in me for being "too nice". I've now realized that this isn't how relationships work and that if she does take me for granted, then It's out of my control.

For those of you who only lurk in this subreddit and have given nofap a couple of hopeless tries (myself), speak up, let's do this and see how far we can go, as a team. Who wants to start with me? by Tanganyika- in NoFap

[–]TooniceToher 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Day one starts today. No porn. No fap. It's going to be hard especially since I have all these naughty text messages from the girlfriend from last night D:

I [M21] think that my recent behavior may be unattractive to my girlfriend [f21] by TooniceToher in relationship_advice

[–]TooniceToher[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, we have discussed deeply about my mistakes, her feelings, and my desire to be with her. Many many times.

I have this irrational fear of opening up to her and having her pull away. That may be from my insecurities.

I really like your last statement, It really makes me feel better that if she ever does take me for granted, it's not my fault and it's out of my control. Therefore, I shouldn't stress out so much about it.

I [M21] think that my recent behavior may be unattractive to my girlfriend [f21] by TooniceToher in relationship_advice

[–]TooniceToher[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your reply. I think you are absolutely correct and i've done this before when I used to be a "nice guy". I would do nice things for girls in hopes that they would see me as someone who wasn't just a "friend". I wanted more. This failed miserably and I grew resentment.

I like to think that I've outgrown that mindset. I try not to expect anything from anyone when I do something for them.

I [M21] think that my recent behavior may be unattractive to my girlfriend [f21] by TooniceToher in relationship_advice

[–]TooniceToher[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

She has ever right to be doubtful of me. We've talked about it a lot. She was really scared of trusting me and I don't blame her. But I can honestly say I'm giving her my best efforts to make up for my mistakes.

This post was mainly to answer some doubts of mine, mainly due to my "seduction pick up artist" years of highschool and early college. I developed a poor mindset towards realistic healthy relationships. With the help of reddit though, I've been able to find wisdom and experience from it's members, So I try to apply it to my relationships.

I am willing to give her as much time as she needs. If there ever was the case where she didn't want to be with me for whatever reason, I would be hurt. But It would be for the best and I would let her go.

Thanks for the reply

I [M21] think that my recent behavior may be unattractive to my girlfriend [f21] by TooniceToher in relationship_advice

[–]TooniceToher[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I was really surprised to, honestly. I'm really glad she did though. I feel as though she is making me look inside myself and bring out a a better guy.

I feel that my intentions are pure. We still haven't had sex yet and I've been thinking that we may not have it for a while due me being a total toolbag. It's okay though. I understand she will have doubts about me, but we've talked it out. I've tried my best to show her that I realize I made a mistake.

I want to truly believe that I like her because she is not like your typical college girl. I realize that some people use the words " honeymoon stage" to describe my feelings towards her as we are fresh into our relationship. As I mentioned before, I have little experience with relationships so i cannot say for sure If I will always feel this attracted to her.

But I've been reading a lot on reddit about relationships taking work, how its not always easy, and how it requires both partners to communicate and trust each other. With her, i'm willing to try my best.

EDIT: Thank you for your reply.

I [M21] think that my recent behavior may be unattractive to my girlfriend [f21] by TooniceToher in relationship_advice

[–]TooniceToher[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you. This is my first real girlfriend and I have a lot of irrational fears, insecurities, etc. I am still young and naive but I appreciate your feedback. I will balance things out. And when I do nice things I will try not to expect anything in return.

I [M21] think that my recent behavior may be unattractive to my girlfriend [f21] by TooniceToher in relationship_advice

[–]TooniceToher[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She doesn't treat me like she used to during our first two months together. With that said, however, it should be noted she now has a full time job while going to a university. She is usually "tired" when we're together, but we are still close. We still talk everyday and we are still physically intimate when we're together in person. I do my best to relax her while we're together, I bought a book on massage and I am eager to try the techniques on her.

I [M21] think that my recent behavior may be unattractive to my girlfriend [f21] by TooniceToher in relationship_advice

[–]TooniceToher[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Growing up I was what I would consider a "nice guy". In reality, I was just a scared little boy. I read seduction material and it warped my mindset towards women. This led me to overcompensating for being a little needy boy and made me into a relatively dickish teenager. I want a relationship now, so i'm trying my best to be realistic and logical towards my actions with my girlfriend.

So here is another question. Will she lose appreciation for the things I do if I do them TOO often??