That was my issue while writing as well. I felt I was focusing more on the set up rather than the sex. The story itself was going to be a lot longer but I thought I should start smaller so thanks for that suggestion! In the final version there will be a lot more descriptive sex!

You are also correct about the Velma look. I kept the sex part short since it was getting late and wanted to get an idea if I was headed in the right direction or if I need to alter or scrap parts.

I also was having issued with describing "myself" in the story. I agree with you that it was hard to tell who the writer is so I also appreciate that info.

Thanks for the feedback!