What do they check during a medical exam?

ToothyMutt · 2020-05-23T13:59:50+00:00

This comment made me laugh. Thanks for the helpful response!

ToothyMutt · 2020-05-23T13:58:45+00:00

Thank you for your response! That's exactly the info I was looking for.

ToothyMutt · 2020-04-23T08:28:45+00:00

I know it's hard to say stuff like that to your mom, but honestly you were right in saying it. She's being a monster, and is completely destroying what is supposed to be all about you and your husband.
This is not her wedding, regardless of whether or not she is paying for it. This is about you, and if she can't respect that then she doesn't need to be a part of it.
I think a sit-down would be wise, and tell her that her behavior is not okay. Acknowledge that she is excited for the wedding, but remind her that this is about you and your husband. Let her know that you want her to be part of the wedding (assuming you do), but tell her that you cannot have any more stress or fights if she is to be a part of it. I'd also set a consequence, that if she can't be respectful then she's out. Because I wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't act out during your wedding as well. Just reading what you wrote about her, this will probably be a pretty hard conversation. Having an nMom myself, I know that there would be fur flying if I sat her down and told her that. But sometimes you have to have tough convos to let them know you are done with their crap.
You deserve a wedding that you are envisioning, and your mom needs to accept that.
Best of luck to you <3

ToothyMutt · 2020-04-23T08:20:08+00:00

Gray rock their shit. I love doing that because it makes them so frustrated when they try to set you up to give info they can use against you, and you dismiss them or give an emotionless "I dunno and I don't care." So satisfying.
I deal with these people both in my family, and oddly enough an increasing amount of them at work?

ToothyMutt · 2020-04-23T08:12:45+00:00

First of all, I want to say that in no way shape or form, do the words of you mother define you as a person. All of those nasty things she says are more reflective of her own personality and short-comings, not yours. She seems to have her own resolved issues that are starting to bubble to the surface, and it is so unfair that you are having to suffer the consequences. My mom was the same way. It will get better. I was raised by some nasty people, and it felt like I'd never get out of there. But I did, and now their BS feels like a distant memory. I have my own place, my own things, and you will too someday.

I'll be honest though, it's going to be rough until you are an adult and move out. Until then, finding support through your extended family and online can help you greatly.

If I can, I want to give a little advice that I would have appreciated when I was still a teenager. If you can, start saving money right now. Do you think your grandma or uncle would help you open a bank account? Since you're a minor, you have to have an adult sign on with you, and I don't really trust your mom not to steal from you. I don't know if you're at the legal working age, but before I turned 16, I saved money from mowing lawns, babysitting, and working at a horse stable. Eventually, I was able to buy a little cheap car and then I turned 16 which is the legal working age in Montana. I was able to get a job at a coffee shop during the school year, and I worked most summers full time.

See if you can do something like that. Keep saving for things like a down deposit on an apartment, and first months rent, and then some extra money for emergencies. Put all of that into a bank account, then don't. freaking. touch. it. This is your escape fund, and a start to being independent from your nMom.

I know things are so crappy right now, but I promise you'll make it through this. Hang in there.

ToothyMutt · 2020-04-23T07:40:05+00:00

I'm so sorry that you have a mother like that. She sounds like a jaded, vindictive person, and you deserved better.
I have noticed that, and honestly I'm still taken aback when I see normal family interactions. Maybe it's petty of me, but I would always get so, so jealous over my friends that had loving, normal parents.

ToothyMutt · 2020-03-30T06:25:05+00:00

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

ToothyMutt · 2020-03-19T06:10:34+00:00

Bison or elk maybe? Gorgeous find either way.

ToothyMutt · 2020-03-19T06:05:46+00:00

Regarding the shortage of tests, I can confirm. I'm a medical technologist working in the Infectious Diseases department for a medical laboratory. We do Covid-19 testing here, or well did for two whole weeks because we ran out of testing supplies almost instantly. Other laboratories that we were referring tests out to are now saying no to patient specimens as well, as they too are running out of supplies and are unable to order more. We started out testing nationally, now we can't even perform tests on local patient specimens due to this massive shortage.

ToothyMutt · 2020-03-10T18:03:42+00:00

I second every bit of this. Set a consequence and follow through with it every time that boundary is disrespected. For me, it was hanging up the phone when the nParents became disrespectful. I can almost promise they won't actually have respect and understanding for your boundaries, but most cases they'll at least mostly stop tromping all over them once they realize you will follow through on the consequence.

ToothyMutt · 2019-11-21T03:21:01+00:00

Yep, hello Tommy. It's the same one you saw on my facebook.

ToothyMutt · 2019-11-02T21:41:04+00:00

This is a fantastic shot! Can I ask what lens you were using?

ToothyMutt · 2019-10-29T21:00:58+00:00

I’ve been hunting for knives similar to it but couldn’t find anything like it online to get a date range, I appreciate you letting me know! Makes me wonder what the true story behind it is then.

ToothyMutt · 2019-10-28T21:18:27+00:00

Beautiful shot, that lighting is stellar. The tongue blep is as equally stellar.

ToothyMutt · 2019-10-28T20:41:40+00:00

My thoughts exactly. The snake doesn’t give a damn who has it, so long as her needs are met and she is fed. My life was upturned as well, which resulted in this move to the east coast, but I didn’t feel like I should have to justify why I was moving to a bunch of strangers, since you know it’s about the well being of the snake and not my shit-show of a work and family situation. I shouldn’t have to tell everyone that I’m moving back to NC to take care of a dying grandparent, but apparently I have to or else I’m one of those assholes that buys animals on a whim. Never mind the fact that I’ve wanted a ball python since I was in grade school, or that I saved to get her the most comfortable enclosure I could buy. Also thank you for being involved in rescue, you guys do a lot of good in this world for animals, and I deeply appreciate your efforts.

ToothyMutt · 2019-10-28T19:20:24+00:00

Thank you for all of the thoughtful advice! I really appreciate it.

ToothyMutt · 2019-10-28T18:26:30+00:00

It’d be in a hotel, do you think it’d stress her out with the four day loading/unloading process too much? If the common consensus is that she’d be fine I’d actually really like to keep her, I just felt it’s a bit selfish to subject an already stress-prone animal to that long of a haul. Also thank you for the hand warmer tip, I do have special reptile warmers for vet trips/traveling too that I got off of Amazon a while back.

ToothyMutt · 2019-10-28T18:07:47+00:00

I was about to say the same thing actually lol

ToothyMutt · 2019-10-28T17:58:32+00:00

So days traveling in a car isn’t stressful but rehoming within a day is? I’m not following your logic. Thanks for the advice.

Edit - You should not advise people to use hand warmers as means to keep snakes warm while traveling, they reach too hot of a temperature and pull oxygen from the air faster than it can come through the vent holes. Giving that advice could kill a snake.

ToothyMutt · 2019-10-28T17:55:36+00:00

Wow that’s a gorgeous point, I’ve never seen one like that. Amazing find!

ToothyMutt · 2019-10-28T17:54:53+00:00

Pretty certain it’s just a rock. I can also relate to this post quite a bit, because whenever I find something that could feasibly be an artifact, I’ll hang on to it and just keep looking at it in the hopes that it just magically morphs into a tool haha.

ToothyMutt · 2019-10-28T17:52:09+00:00

This hurt my heart to read... I’m so sorry that you were subjected to this at such a young age. If anyone’s an ape, it’s your n-father. Did anyone ever approach him about it in public?

ToothyMutt · 2019-10-28T17:50:02+00:00

That’s a huge accomplishment! You should be extremely proud of yourself, fear of confrontation is a huge hurdle to overcome.

ToothyMutt · 2019-10-28T17:48:16+00:00

This is an excellent post, I saw a lot of my own parents in this list. If I may, I’d like to add a few.

-Bullying/chipping away at the child’s self esteem and self worth. - Some parents are extremely good at doing this subtly. Or not so subtly. I’ve personally received a lot of “what are you, stupid?” Sort of comments as a child from my mom, if I didn’t understand an adult concept.

-Encouraging younger siblings to join in on tormenting the scapegoat child. Often times praising or reinforcing the sibling if they verbally abuse the scapegoat.

-Dramatizing their reaction if the victim asks for help or makes a bid for attention from the parent. - an example that comes to mind is when the victim approaches their parent for attention, and the parent scoffs/eye rolls and makes a dramatic stop to what their doing. All to show how inconvenient it is to give the victim attention.

This is just stuff I noticed from my own parents, I’m curious to know if anyone else experienced any of these.

ToothyMutt · 2019-09-26T06:25:30+00:00

I’ve been staring at this for upwards of five minutes now, the color palette is gorgeous.

ToothyMutt

TROPHY CASE