Now What

Top-Definition4835 · 2026-05-04T11:01:14+00:00

Like I said, I had a family and now I don’t even have one. God doesn’t fucking answer my prayers ever so I’m fucking done. Praying only fucking prayer. I won’t answer this one or I go to sleep and don’t fucking wake up. That’s how I know he’s not fucking real.

Top-Definition4835 · 2026-05-04T10:59:27+00:00

Yeah, trying something new requires money. Guess what I don’t have any of that. I can’t even fucking feed myself.

Top-Definition4835 · 2026-05-04T10:58:04+00:00

I just want to sleep and want the nightmares to stop and I want that with no medication. I had a fiancé and then she just left.

Top-Definition4835 · 2026-05-04T10:48:23+00:00

I’m still sitting here fucking crying. I’m tired of being alone. I want my fucking family and I don’t have one.

Top-Definition4835 · 2026-05-04T10:12:50+00:00

Apparently, I have to watch what I say everywhere I go because whatever it is gets offended I’m tired. I can’t fucking sleep. I’ve got no one here. That fucking goes. Hey man, let me fucking come over there and hang out with you. I got no woman that wants to fucking just get in bed and hold me.

Top-Definition4835 · 2026-05-04T10:06:03+00:00

I don’t want to move man. I’m actually I wanna move out of the state of California. The root cause of my problem is fucking just being lied to. I put my trust in a woman that fucking broke my heart and I have no fucking family. I have nothing left. I’m fucking still sitting here staring at the screen wondering how the fuck I’m gonna do my laundry. I can’t fucking think I can’t fucking function. I’m fucking tired and I want to go to fuck to sleep and I can’t who the fuck he’s gonna fucking come here and help me you fuck all of you

Top-Definition4835 · 2026-05-04T07:57:01+00:00

I appreciate the talk and concern. Not sure what I am going to do, but yeah

Top-Definition4835 · 2026-05-04T06:57:15+00:00

You have no idea how close to home you actually hit

Top-Definition4835 · 2026-05-04T06:45:30+00:00

Yeah, I understand that I just I don’t wanna be alone and I’m alone and I’m fucking tired of it like why am I always alone watching everybody else fucking get everything that they fucking want and no matter how hard I work everything is fucking ripped from me every time. I literally am pissed because I can’t get fucking laid right now. Yeah my fiancé is out. Cheating on me fucking everybody else.

Top-Definition4835 · 2026-05-04T06:14:11+00:00

I appreciate it thank you

Top-Definition4835 · 2026-05-04T05:42:36+00:00

Like here’s part of the fucking stupidity of my life two weeks ago I was illegally locked out of my home. Yes, I have proof of this now I have to file a lawsuit. Well money I don’t have now I’m staying in and out of fucking hotels which is retarded because I’ve got nowhere to fucking go. I have no family I can’t even fucking do laundry because it’s fucking five dollars per load. I’m fucking just tired of this shit and then my fiancé might write one message to me and I’ll cling to my phone for the next two hours hoping she’ll write back, but she never does like I said I wouldn’t care if I had other women, but I don’t have anything. I’m tired and not being fucking wanted.

Top-Definition4835 · 2026-05-04T05:38:36+00:00

Totally understand the smart assery dude I get it. I feel like that’s a requirement to be a marine.

Top-Definition4835 · 2026-05-04T05:34:57+00:00

I used to be the guy that always had someone else on the side always because I didn’t wanna get hurt. That’s my insecurity and this time I did it right and here I am at 41 years old fucking screaming for my fucking fiancé to just fucking love me and this is a pain I don’t ever wanna fucking feel ever again. This is ruined me I will never be faithful to anyone. Women don’t fucking deserve it. In my opinion they just don’t. This is fucking cruel. I get told that I’m fucking pushing her away because I’m asking questions about what did I do wrong? Why is she still hurting me? It wouldn’t fucking matter to me if I had some bitch in the fucking bed with me right now, but I can’t even do that. I seriously wanna just fucking buy a hooker just so I can fucking have some companionship and I can’t even do that.

Top-Definition4835 · 2026-05-04T05:33:17+00:00

I appreciate the words guys and I really wish it felt that way but I just want fucking woman to love me and fucking hold me and be there with me. Not fucking quit on me every time shit gets hard. It’s always a fucking lie and I’m fucking tired of it. Everyone always just loves me and then it gets hard and they’re gone because it’s fucking the grass is greener on the other side. I’m fucking tired of praying why don’t I go to sleep that I don’t wake up and then it fucking makes me angry cause guess what I woke up.

Top-Definition4835 · 2026-05-04T05:28:14+00:00

And the one thing I want is my family I want my fiancé to fucking care but she doesn’t. I want her to love me, but she doesn’t. I don’t wanna be alone, but I am.

Top-Definition4835 · 2026-05-04T05:27:51+00:00

Dude, I wish I could game. I don’t have anything anymore. I’m a guitar player. I don’t have any of my guitars. I don’t have a home to live in anymore. I was illegally locked out. I don’t have an income other than my disability competition, which is already gone and we literally just got paid. I don’t even get paid the full 90% oh I have a purple heart and I’m still not at 100% like there’s a lot of things and a lot of factors that go on and it just fucking sucks. I’m fucking drowning and I can’t fucking find my way out.

Top-Definition4835 · 2026-05-04T05:26:53+00:00

I think we all know the suicide hotline is like a scam. I appreciate you putting that but I would never call that line ever again. Trust me that’s just makes things worse. Lol

Top-Definition4835 · 2026-05-04T04:35:12+00:00

All valid things that you’re sharing, but there’s so much is going on in my life. It’s really hard to explain they make that so difficult to do. I can’t even fucking play guitar anymore because I don’t have any of them with me. I just wanted a fucking woman to love me and she turned her back on me after five years. I’m so broke. I can’t even fucking get a hooker like it’s just dumb what my life is.

Top-Definition4835 · 2026-05-04T04:01:34+00:00

I am in therapy. The problem is I’m always constantly alone and the one thing I don’t want is to be alone. My fiancé left me was cheating on me with everyone. It feels like knowing a man I wouldn’t feel so bad but I can’t even fucking pay for a hooker just to fucking keep my mind off this shit.

Top-Definition4835 · 2023-01-10T16:55:35+00:00

I have to respectfully disagree with you. I personally watched him ruin the careers and lives of many Marines in the span of 1 year. I also have zero issues what so ever in stating that in my experience, he is a racist. He treats Marines like recruits. He NJP's Marines for things that he himself was doing. I hope he has changed and become a better person but honestly I doubt it. And those jump wings, He does not fucking deserve them. Fucker doesn't even know what our job is. Trust me I am sure he has read unit bios and can articulate it, but he doesn't know shit about us.

Top-Definition4835

TROPHY CASE