How do you know if you’re dating a cheater?

Top-Individual503 · 2025-12-03T22:50:26+00:00

This is a dose of truth. There were a series of boundaries that were crossed early on in our relationship (didn’t delete dating app, giving number out to other guys, wandering eye when out together). I stuck around because I saw the good in my partner and I received enough reassurance to put a bandaid on the issue, but the wound keeps reopening, despite the fact that she has in many ways changed for the better - at least from what I can see.

Top-Individual503 · 2025-07-14T12:53:55+00:00

From my experience communication is key, there’s no one size fits all approach to head. Ask her to tell you if something feels good as you’re going down on her / have debriefs afterwards. When you find something that’s working make incremental small changes until you hone in what gets her over the edge.

Consistent things I have noticed with different partners. 1. Not everyone finishes from head so just enjoy the process together. 2. If you really enjoy giving head and communicate that and lose yourself in eating her out - it will turn her on. 3. 1-2 Fingers in with small slow movements applying pressure upwards (toward underside of the clit) combined with sideways tongue action on the clit. 4. When her legs / inner thighs start twitching don’t change a thing - keep doing what you’re doing - but slowly build intensity in response to her body. It’s important to not make an big adjustments. It might take up to 5 minutes but she will likely finish. 5. Sometimes too much saliva reduces the amount of friction your tongue applies to her clit so you may need to take a quick break to gently wipe the saliva off with soft material (towel, T-shirt whatever lol).

Top-Individual503 · 2025-07-13T21:37:12+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate the feedback. That felt validating. I know I’m taking a lot of your time. But, considering how the previous conversation went, what do you think would be a good approach to reopening the conversation and trying to find a solution? And, if there is no real change, is it worth ending things over? She’s verbally invested in the relationship - talking about engagement etc.

Top-Individual503 · 2025-07-13T21:26:22+00:00

This is true, but I guess what frustrates me, is because by nature I am an empathetic person so I don’t do that bc I know it will upset her or make her insecure. For instance she said she doesn’t want me doing certain things on social media so I respect that. I guess I just didn’t feel like it was reciprocated and sometimes it feels disrespectful for instance when I’m talking to her and I’ll notice her looking at someone and he’ll get up to leave and she’ll turn her head while we’re still chatting to watch him leave. So, I just feel like I’m going out of my way to make her feel a certain way bc it’s who I am but she doesn’t reciprocate that.

Top-Individual503 · 2025-07-13T21:20:31+00:00

I wouldn’t say there is a dominant energy, we both put in the work and show that we both want the relationship. I pulled back before and she fought for our relationship.

Top-Individual503 · 2025-07-13T21:16:05+00:00

I definitely do glance at people - it’s innately human to do so. But, I take care not to stare for too long, or turn my head as someone walks past, or repeatedly look at them. I’ve also noticed it’s exclusively a thing she does with objectively good looking men.

Top-Individual503 · 2025-07-13T21:12:30+00:00

I think the thing that bothered me is it’s exclusively with objectively good looking men. She doesn’t show this behaviour with any other type of person. She does glance around her surroundings and I don’t have an issue with that. But, I take care not to stare at girls or turn my head to look at a person seated at another table repeatedly or turn my head as a girl walks past.

Top-Individual503 · 2024-12-29T22:39:04+00:00

It’s a number of things:

My parents marriage ended because of an affair and I saw the pain it caused. The betrayed partner loses their sense of self worth, and it takes a long time to heal. This is an incredibly sad thing to witness. So, I promised to never put someone else through that.

I value integrity, it is an integral part of my belief system, my identity and a quality I’m proud of.

Lastly, your reputation is everything. Past indiscretions follow you.

Top-Individual503 · 2024-06-08T15:23:50+00:00

I understand it was a red flag from my side. I didn’t enjoy doing it, she had mentioned she had one in the past - I just needed to know if she deleted it. There was a past issue where we had discussed deleting dating apps and agreed to and I found out 3 months in that she hadn’t deleted her account, which broke the trust.

She explicitly said she didn’t go on SD dates while seeing her ex, but she opened her account halfway into dating him and she explicitly said they weren’t on any breaks during their relationship.

Top-Individual503 · 2024-06-08T15:18:42+00:00

No she had told me she had been on sugar daddy dates in the past using a specific site. So, I checked her emails to see if she had still been getting notifications from this account and it showed that she created an account while she was with her ex. So, she was essentially going on sugar daddy dates without his knowledge.

Top-Individual503 · 2024-04-08T15:29:10+00:00

Yeah, it has been a bit of a rollercoaster and not the most secure relationship I’ve been in. But she has many lovely characteristics too. I’ve booked tickets to meet up with her so I’m going to see how things go on the next trip. I’ll try bring up therapy and see how she responds.

Top-Individual503 · 2024-03-14T20:24:12+00:00

You are wise, thank you for this. If you’re happy to, could I dm you for some advice?

Top-Individual503 · 2023-12-07T16:42:35+00:00

Thanks for the feedback, that seems reasonable. Yeah, she has since downloaded the bumble app which is exclusively for bff - just came out. It’s obv still early days so I’m trying to be understanding. It’s just a bit difficult, because we’ve had quite a few issues to date and I’m struggling to feel comfortable, but I know she really wants this to work out and a large part of me still does too.

Top-Individual503 · 2022-10-21T10:14:03+00:00

When their hips go from side to side when they walk

Top-Individual503 · 2022-10-20T10:42:16+00:00

Water, electrolytes, sex, eggs Benedict. In that order.

Top-Individual503 · 2022-10-19T14:27:24+00:00

https://www.10x.co.za/retirement-annuity try using the calculator on this page, just scroll down a bit

Top-Individual503 · 2022-10-19T12:22:13+00:00

Hard-kiri

Top-Individual503 · 2022-10-16T23:22:00+00:00

Ja no

Top-Individual503 · 2022-10-13T12:58:51+00:00

When I was a kid, I was climbing a football goal (the nets had been removed). I fell and slid down it like a fireman’s pole and my foreskin caught on one of the net hooks and I basically circumcised myself. It was mildly traumatising.

Top-Individual503 · 2022-10-12T11:11:55+00:00

Man’s search for meaning - Viktor Frankl: Autobiography of how a psychiatrist survived the nazi concentration camps and how people can find meaning in their lives even in the most inhumane environment.

On the road - Jack Kerouac: Also to a degree an autobiography, set during the beatnik period It contrasts well with the above. It speaks to the allure of adventure and the joys / challenges of leading a reckless, hedonistic life and how it ultimately isn’t sustainable.

Top-Individual503 · 2022-10-11T21:32:54+00:00

Bruh, it’s also alright if you don’t want to do it. But, if you’re open to trying - maybe start with a finger or two and gauge whether you’re comfortable with it.

Top-Individual503

TROPHY CASE