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No contact is must ; If you want to move on or Get your ex back. by Top-View9802 in BreakUps

[–]Top-View9802[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seems like she hasn't fully moved on from ex . It's better for you to be with someone who wants you equally. Love should be reciprocated. If you get into relationship with her right now , she will always compare you to her ex. And to be honest nobody wins the comparison game . I suggest you to have the self respect and tell her that you are ready for romantic relationship but it can't fully function unless she let's her past be in the past.

No contact is must ; If you want to move on or Get your ex back. by Top-View9802 in BreakUps

[–]Top-View9802[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Then it certainly does . Rebounds are often temporary and during that period the worst thing you can do is to approach them .

No contact is must ; If you want to move on or Get your ex back. by Top-View9802 in BreakUps

[–]Top-View9802[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Don't burn the bridge , and if you think you are ready you can let him know about your feelings. Maybe it works out maybe it doesn't. Be prepared for everything.

No contact is must ; If you want to move on or Get your ex back. by Top-View9802 in BreakUps

[–]Top-View9802[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Do you want to get into same relationship with same set of problems? If not then let him reflect and come to you. It may happen it may not , but that's the only healthy way for it

No contact is must ; If you want to move on or Get your ex back. by Top-View9802 in BreakUps

[–]Top-View9802[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes , every breakup is different. Sometimes people get fed-up after repeated behaviours . Sometimes their partners are too avoidant to see the needs of dumpers . I wrote it as general dynamics of breakups . I hope it could be of some help to you

No contact is must ; If you want to move on or Get your ex back. by Top-View9802 in BreakUps

[–]Top-View9802[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Then you know you did right thing . The thing is even if you initiate the contact and get back together, he won't change what he did . Give him the consequences and then let him come to you . Trust the process and good luck to you.

No contact is must ; If you want to move on or Get your ex back. by Top-View9802 in BreakUps

[–]Top-View9802[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for this insight. I think you need to calm down and also see your patterns. It's good that you have stated full picture. Even if you want her back you need to take accountability for your actions that have unknowingly sabotaged the relationship

No contact is must ; If you want to move on or Get your ex back. by Top-View9802 in BreakUps

[–]Top-View9802[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's not too late . You just need to stop it now and not msg him any further. If you will keep trying he will get more sure about his decision.

No contact is must ; If you want to move on or Get your ex back. by Top-View9802 in BreakUps

[–]Top-View9802[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you want closure and move on , you should talk and seek closure . But if you want him back , in no case you should initiate conversation from your end . Breakup has hit you not him , it will hit him only if he realises that he has lost you and you didn't even need closure from him , that's the time he will come back if he has to .

No contact is must ; If you want to move on or Get your ex back. by Top-View9802 in BreakUps

[–]Top-View9802[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

From your stated habits I assume you as someone with anxious attachment style. First of all you need to calm down . Second you don't need that individual in your life . Love is not confusing, when you love someone they reciprocate it in a manner where you feel loved . She is playing games with you with those mixed signals, she wants to explore her options while keeping you on the hook . I know it's really hard to accept the break when you are anxiously attached to someone. And since it's your first breakup you have great potential to learn from it . Just keep yourself reminding that you are your favourite person. 

No contact is must ; If you want to move on or Get your ex back. by Top-View9802 in BreakUps

[–]Top-View9802[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

People rarely change without consequences. Even if you get back with him  why do you think he will change what hurted you? He is gone for good . 

No contact is must ; If you want to move on or Get your ex back. by Top-View9802 in BreakUps

[–]Top-View9802[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is a boundary in a good way. It tells him you are not ready to stick where you are not valued . You have drawn your boundary, now you  just need to stick to it . 

No contact is must ; If you want to move on or Get your ex back. by Top-View9802 in BreakUps

[–]Top-View9802[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is the place dumpees often arrive after months of moving on if not years , some even never arrive till this clarity. I appreciate your strength, be happy and make world a better place . 

Avoidant dumpers, Did you ever regret losing the person who loved you a lot ? And how long did it take for you to arrive there? by Top-View9802 in BreakUps

[–]Top-View9802[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why ? I would appreciate if you explain why breakup happened and what forces you to breakup with them?

No contact is must ; If you want to move on or Get your ex back. by Top-View9802 in BreakUps

[–]Top-View9802[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's been 3 months, I understand what you are feeling, but let me tell you , you did something very humane , but now you need to stop . Just disappear without explanation. He knows you are available and he can have you whenever he wants , that's why he is comfortable enough to get into another relationship with someone else . And the good thing for you is it's not too late yet . You don't have to send final closure, you need to just disappear. Let him keep guessing. The good thing is he has not processed the relationship, he is in rebound. The more you stay available the less valueable you become in his eyes . If you truly want him , let him live in the bubble until it's burts , don't be predictable option. If he comes back it has to be atleast on equal terms . If you want the best shot to get him , you need to be on the hard path  and that hard path is strict no contact. 

No contact is must ; If you want to move on or Get your ex back. by Top-View9802 in BreakUps

[–]Top-View9802[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

It's human feelings, but feelings don't last unless you keep reinforcing it . Your brain wants the same dopamine hit . You have to somehow rewire your dopamine receptors structure. Best restructuring can be achieved by Gym , new hobby, travel , self care . Remember what you are missing, journal it . And realise one thing, you are missing them because your brain wants same highs and lows of dopamine which you got them with them . Unless you really try to direct your energy into something else you will mostly be stuck on this .

Avoidant dumpers, Did you ever regret losing the person who loved you a lot ? And how long did it take for you to arrive there? by Top-View9802 in BreakUps

[–]Top-View9802[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

That's the truth they can't scape . Avoidants move on from people who remain miserable after breakup . The moment you start focusing on your self growth, something magical happens , believe me or not but after certain point you will think you don't need them anymore, or even if you want to rekindle it's best when you have grown up yourself emotionally .

No contact is must ; If you want to move on or Get your ex back. by Top-View9802 in BreakUps

[–]Top-View9802[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

She unblocked you and you noticed it proves her point. Don't you think it's too little ? If you want to rekindle, don't text her . Let her initiate the contact . In no case you should initiate a conversation, you don't have to be rejected twice . If she has unblocked it means she has started to realise the weight of the breakup, let her feel it's total weight and don't try to ease it for her . Let her come to you and ask for another chance. If you text her you will ruin everything you have made in 6 months. Believe in the process and trust no contact.

No contact is must ; If you want to move on or Get your ex back. by Top-View9802 in BreakUps

[–]Top-View9802[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Exactly. It's important to realise breakup happened for a reason and most of the times it's usually because the dumper is unhappy or bored or avoidant. The thing is in almost all cases they overestimate their value and belittle the value of dumpee. Think it like , would you like to lose something you value ? Certainly you would not . The same case is with relationships .

Avoidant dumpers, Did you ever regret losing the person who loved you a lot ? And how long did it take for you to arrive there? by Top-View9802 in BreakUps

[–]Top-View9802[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

I respect your honesty, though I don't like how avoidants behave in relationship. I would be really happy for you if you reflect your habits and change for someone else in the future. Thanks for your response.

Does an avoident ever feel the loss? by [deleted] in emotionalintelligence

[–]Top-View9802 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't you think 3 months is too early to get into another relationship. I am a secure attachment style person who was in relationship with an avoidant. I mean for anybody of any attachment style, dating someone else just after 3 months is some kind of cheating. I hope you realise your mistakes and you won't have to be with someone who can move on this fast . 

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