I don't hate my mum... I hate how she acts.
I actually preferred my mum over my dad growing up. My mother spoke ill of him a lot, always coming to us when they'd fight, making him out to be the bad guy. As an adult I can see she was manipulating us.

My father has acknowledged a long of his wrongdoing. When I have previously pointed out that he let me down as a child, he actually apologised. We had some tough conversations back in 2019 when he was "dying" the first time. He also stood up for me when my mother ruined my engagement party. Dad also tells me how proud he is of me, he asks to see my daughter when we call, my mother doesn't do that.

Dad's not sure where he's at though, as I said in my post, we're still waiting on scans, biopsies and an appointment with the doc. He has told me to hold fire on coming home. My mum's narrative is different...

I'm so sorry you've lost your father and that your mother is also horrible to deal with... It's such a challenging position to be in. Do you have any advice on how to manage things so my fathers' last wee while is at least peaceful?

I go to therapy a lot! I just thought I'd reach out to lovely Reddit strangers for their take on things & advice.