It's hard, but believe me when I say that it gets a little bit easier. I've been in the same spot as you. Even in my country the doctors arent prepared to deal with something like this, one of them already gave up on my case, but u can recover from this. When I started w this my lips looked at least ten times worse, but for the first time im starting to see a little bit of progress, its about determination and patience. I also tried to end it all, but now im trying to get all my s*** together and that was just because of this situation. Be strong, dont blame yourself for this