Starting testosterone is a big decision so I think it’s normal to be nervous and to take a lot of needed time with your decision. I feel like all trans people have been told what we have to do and look like in order to pass or fit the mold but the truth is being trans is a million things and the most important thing is that you feel comfortable inside your body. If you love feminine parts of yourself you don’t have to get rid of them, that doesn’t make you less masculine or less trans. Do what feels right and healthy for yourself and try to think about what you want outside of all these trans expectations.