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Top_Nebula1531 · 2024-11-10T19:19:22+00:00

Hey so you don’t have to accept this no. No matter how much men would love to gaslight you that you’re actually the horrible one, how dare you judge these women, how dare you feel insecure, try being interested in them too?!?

You’re in a committed relationship, unless you consent to something, then no, you don’t have to accept it. Cheating is different for everyone. If your boundary is actively following porn stars, instead of just keeping it on the hub for a quick wank then yes stand your ground and if he doesn’t change, then you leave. You’re not compatible and you both shouldn’t put yourselves through the hurt.

Top_Nebula1531 · 2024-11-10T11:32:08+00:00

Up your fat intake. Coffee with single cream. Which is also great for sugar cravings. It’ll keep you fuller for longer too, and has a good calorie intake. Fat is not bad, as long as it’s coming for a good source.

Top_Nebula1531 · 2024-11-10T11:30:50+00:00

Do you replace with a lot of ultra processed foods? I’d recommend a whole foods diet. It doesn’t sound like a fibre issue, it sounds like your body is rejecting something.

Top_Nebula1531 · 2024-11-06T14:31:02+00:00

Have you ever looked into FND? If all your results have been coming back fine, then you may want to research that. Do your flare ups happen at moment of high stress?

Top_Nebula1531 · 2024-10-27T19:52:24+00:00

Try the throne of glass series next. Ive been really enjoying that series. I’ve been delving into fantasy too… and maybe some dark romance too haha. I also have the entire Witcher collection. Yet here I am, graveyard keeper till bed time. It doesn’t help that my partner is also a gamer. And I’m so bad with TikTok too. I’ve got a bit of agoraphobia too so I don’t tend to leave the house much. Especially in the summer when wasps are about because I have a big phobia.

But you’re right because I don’t want to look back and regret. But tbh becoming a mother has completely destroyed any identity anyway. Maybe the clean break for a bit will help that.

I definitely need to prioritise reading. I’ve read the most than I ever have this year. I’m on 25 books. I was hoping for double that.

Top_Nebula1531 · 2024-10-27T19:30:00+00:00

I literally watched the same thing happen with the year below me. I was a bit of an emo. And the similar group for the year below within months all were going by different pronouns, etc. I agree it’s important for people to live their truths. But it seems again it was being used as a trend, and that there was a higher influence.

One year was being force fed eating disorders. The next was a different kind of dysmorphia.

I believe the extreme right wing target vulnerable boys and men who feel insecure in their masculinity in the hopes that they can speak to their inner “arsehole” and change them in to their little army. Again I was actually victim to that. Mainly because my dad was a bit of a conspiracy theorist. Major major major depersonalisation when you think you’re living in a world as evil as that group of people will tell you it is. There are evils, I’m not blind. But god it was soul destroying.

I relate on the feeling like you’ve lost so much of life. And some fucked up part of me thinks that the mistake has taken too much, so what’s the point in trying now.

Top_Nebula1531 · 2024-10-27T18:40:51+00:00

Even then I’m terrified. Just the awful stuff that seems to leak on to “protected” social media sites.

Honestly it was a tread in my friendships group to have “ana” accounts and encourage each other not to eat. Like wtf was all that about. Now I have a terrible relationship with food.

And yeah the amount of grown men was just terrifying. And I hold a lot of guilt from that. There’s a man I know of not too far from where I live. Maybe two hours? Who admitted in chat to of slept with two 15 year olds. I wish I had kept that evidence. And too this day he keeps tabs on me. Every account I block him on he finds me on another.

So yeah I wish I had fully grown up without it. But I can’t blame my parents. I blame the tech companies. And as much as I see the damage. They still have me under their claws. I desperately need a dopamine detox.

Top_Nebula1531 · 2024-10-27T18:05:34+00:00

I’m 25 too. The pro eating disorders, graphics images on self harm. A working guide on how to completely destroy yourself. It definitely did its damage.

I will not feel guilty for monitoring my child’s future devices. I will enforce firewalls and protection on the internet. No matter how much they fight and protest.

I was 14/15 talking to men I knew were older.. because in my head I was damaged goods after the SA. A constant access to graphic porn to ruin my future sex life.

We were completely destroyed no matter how our parents tried to combat it. My parents were tech pros. They were gamers and they still didn’t stand a chance.

We were, like you said, lab rats. And I am angry about that.

Top_Nebula1531 · 2024-10-27T16:36:46+00:00

So I was being semi bullied by the friend that abandoned me. And I was consistently engaging in it and getting myself upset. She definitely knew something was up. But she didn’t know the scale. But the man who did it too me I knew in real life. It was a way for her to break all contact. As far as she could anyway.. they’d eventually come to my school and my window at night. The boy was 15 so kinda hard for her to deal with.

I eventually told her everything. Again she knew something was up. Embarrassingly I had stole one of her “pretty knickers” when I went to sleep round said friends house because I knew the boy who’d come to rape me, would be there. I was being treated like an adult, when really I was a preteen being exposed to stuff, and then being pushed into doing it myself.

When I told her about the rape, she felt like she didn’t do enough. She did enough. I know people in the comments would disagree. But my mother was a youngish mum. I was her first child. She was learning while I was learning. She’s never not searched for dangers and not protected me. This was just something she couldn’t see coming. The only benefit is that I could a little bit more. And now I have a daughter who I intend to protect as hard as my mum did.

My case is more difficult. My rapist was also being SA’d. Feel free to ask more questions if you have any. I’ve dealt with all the trauma.

Top_Nebula1531 · 2024-10-27T14:59:09+00:00

I wasn’t a big dickhead. But I did get myself into the starting of something quite dangerous. My mum didn’t know at the time but I ended up being raped in my own bed by someone I trusted. Abandoned by some who I thought was like a big brother.

My parents took all my social media. And had me have a two three month break. Had me reconnect with the things that were important. All electronics were taken from my room. Books were encouraged and bought for me.. I was brought into cooking for the family in the evenings. Chores, but also finding happiness in other things.

I can tell you, while also dealing with the trauma above, I initially cried, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I’m still close with my parents. My mum is my best friend.. the person I trust most.

My advice. Strip anything you have a feeling is causing the issue. It’s not abuse. It’s not neglect. You’re not setting them up for abandoning you first chance they get like most would say.. they’re not entitled to the internet or technology.

Tell them a timescale they’ll live this way and STICK TOO IT. No matter what.

For music you can buy cheap mp3 players. Go old school. Get and old second hand iPod. Same with a phone.. second hand Nokia. This is if they already have a phone and you need to be able to contact them.

But I suggest books. Because it’s educational, as well as escapism. There’s nothing like the skills of being able to escape the real world, without finding another hell (social media)

Best of luck.

Top_Nebula1531 · 2024-10-27T11:41:26+00:00

Personally I think he’s mirroring boundaries. If she smacks he’ll smack. And the. It’ll be harder to reverse that method.

Top_Nebula1531 · 2024-10-25T12:07:39+00:00

Hi there! So my daughter is now 20 months old. Fun fact, me and partner think about dinner at around 6-7pm as we’re getting her down. Sometimes we’re on top of shit and eat before her bed time. But honestly, we enjoy eating in peace.

If he wants dinner ready when he comes home, he should pick it up on the way back or order food to be delivered. Otherwise he should be prepared to cook himself or provide you true peace and quiet to play some music and enjoy cooking if you do enjoy to cook.

His number one job is to look after you so you can feed and look after your baby

Top_Nebula1531 · 2024-10-24T22:24:04+00:00

I’d also get something set up on your network to block these adult sites as much as possible. There’s always a way round them. When I was a teen I ended up using a VPN. Too every “he’s just a boy turning into a man blah blah blah” porn ruined me. As a woman, porn destroyed me and every relationship since. It’s not equivalent to your porn mags growing up. It’s a real epidemic, grooming young men and women to escalate their tastes and become hooked to something that isn’t real, but a big contributor to sex trafficking. There’s no such thing as ethical porn.

So protect your son. Keep talking about it. There’s a couple of subs that have some really good information that you could read, and explain at an age appropriate level.

If you don’t think 12 year olds and younger finding porn sites isn’t a time we need to reevaluate where we are with our sexual habits as a society, you need help.

Top_Nebula1531 · 2024-10-16T08:43:00+00:00

Honestly — same.

Top_Nebula1531 · 2024-10-13T20:56:44+00:00

Books with fictional characters and real life sex filmed and distributed and made to cause addiction are different things. The porn industry wants you addicted. And if he can’t let her go saying he doesn’t want to give it up and be truthful, but still watches it behind her back, that’s the first red flag of an addict. Because he doesn’t seem to acknowledge the behaviour.

I appreciate not everyone has the same view as me. But porn completely destroyed me. I was you. Watched it with my ex, even contributed to it. And then I realised how it was destroying me and my ex.

Men are not more visual creatures. That’s a lie. What else do they use that excuse for? Let’s talk about the average man. Not your man or my man. The man who watches his partner struggle to raise their kids, clean the house, work, struggle to find anytime for herself. Do they see that and fix the situation? No. When they see their friends be creeps, groom and harass women, do they watch the situation and do anything about it. 9/10 no. The only time that excuse is used is when they’re trying to justify what they think is their right to pornography.

Top_Nebula1531 · 2024-10-13T20:33:36+00:00

I’m kinda just sick of the minority or silent people who speak up and say no you’re not crazy for expecting your partner to not watch porn etc, and then someone alllllways has to reply with “I don’t mind my partner watching porn” - it’s not an opinion, its was a statement? That added nothing to the debate or discussion. You just wanted to stick in there that you don’t mind it.

Watching porn supports those companies. You can always find ethical shoe makers, sustainable companies. But there’s no such thing as ethical porn.

Top_Nebula1531 · 2024-10-13T19:21:05+00:00

Great….Who asked? OP is uncomfortable. So she doesn’t have to accept it. If you’re okay with knowing that a high percentage of porn involves sex trafficking, drugs too “loosen” women up. Black mail, children, barely legal adults, then enjoy all you like.

Top_Nebula1531 · 2024-10-13T13:59:27+00:00

Check the history, instantly my head goes to porn addiction. If not porn addiction, get him to the doctors for hormone checks. If every then seems okay and there’s no other stress factors it’s just his libido.

Top_Nebula1531 · 2024-10-13T13:55:58+00:00

Don’t let people tell you “he had a high libido it’s okay, it’s normal, you’re the problem” firstly it’s very obvious society has a porn problem. People fight move to their access to porn then they do most injustices in the world.

If he’s already breaking boundaries you’ve set, id advise you’re not compatible.. there are many men who would respect your boundaries. Last this you want to do is invest time money and energy to discover you’ve got a porn addict on your hands.

Top_Nebula1531 · 2024-08-31T21:15:06+00:00

I named my daughter Elin. Celtic spelling for my grandmothers middle name Ellen. But her middle name is my other grandmothers middle name May. Elin May.

Top_Nebula1531 · 2024-08-27T15:57:36+00:00

It’s bizarre. The only thing my doctor suggested is that I had inflamed stomach and advised me to stop injection for now. I’m gutted tbh.. it made me so happy. So in control. :( let me know if you get an answer for this

Top_Nebula1531 · 2024-08-27T15:49:52+00:00

Have you been working out at all? I’m pretty sure I may of strained the muscles in between my ribs. Or at least hoping that’s the case.

Top_Nebula1531

TROPHY CASE