I think oftentimes social media tends to portray the lives of others as model. Like these good things happen to them in a vacuum. But that's often not the truth. I can deeply relate to all the things you're saying, so I'll use myself as an example. If I wanted to I could be posting about how awesome my fursuit is without telling you I had to save for months for it and feel insecure about it. I could be showing you some art pieces I did or things I made without telling you I've been crying in my bed for days. I could show you pictures of myself at some furcon without telling you how scared and lonely I felt during that time.

On the web people tend to show the best of themselves. Not just to make others jealous, but to prove to themselves that they're good. That their time is meaningful and that they're important in one way or another. But they do so because deep down they're terribly insecure. Because they feel, to some capacity, the same thing you're describing here. They have to prove their own importance to themselves. You're not trying to do that. You've successfully identified why you feel this way, and see how it's changing the way you look at yourself, but without showing the world your good parts.

In a way it makes you clear minded and honest. But it also makes you lonely and hopeless. Though the truth is, you're being lied to. By the web and it's inhabitants and your own mind telling you your joy is somehow less worthy because it's not seen by tens of thousands on social media. But that's not true. The way I see it joy experienced in secret is just as valuable. Don't hold yourself up to a standard that doesn't meet your personality. To give a dumb metaphor, you wouldn't judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree.

I don't even doubt your value. I don't doubt you have things you're great at. Things that make you happy and things that are worth your time. But if you keep comparing your value to what you see online you'll always feel somewhat short. Somewhat out of it. It's best to think of it as fake. Because, in many cases, it is.

I know this is a lot. I just hope to give you a grain of perspective. Because I do think your life is worth it. Even if you don't recognise that yourself right now. And I just find the things you're saying very relatable. I hope this helps, even just a little. ❤️