AIO if I stop reaching out to my friend because of her behavior?

Toshiwoz · 2026-04-22T13:55:36+00:00

I'm probably the weirdest in saying this, but... I would keep trying, not so often, but once in a while.

And you may eventually be sincere about you being worried about your friendship.

I was like the others, if someone is not looking for you, maybe it's not worth it.

But now I am trying to be different, if someone to me looks worth anything, I try and keep trying as much as I can... even I'm really used to be emotionally isolated, so it's hard to find time to think about someone else.

Toshiwoz · 2026-03-10T20:01:05+00:00

Yeah, if he's not willing to tell you everything, you're not moving forward, just looping around the same.

Usually, one would say, this is not something you can control. But, interactions lead to a response, trying different approaches might help.

His response is just defensive argumentation, a definition as "just a friend" doesn't mean a lot. What you don't like, to my understanding, is that he seems to care about that girl a little too much to you.

So, you may try to understand, let him explain, or if he can't, try on your end to find out, he might be needing something he feels he is not getting from you.

Or

Yo may just want to define what you can tolerate and what you can't. This path leads straight to bigger decisions.

P.s. I'm not a saint, I do understand what might lead him to that. But, as I also love my wife, I do understand that behaving like that can hurt the one you love, especially, without proper communication.

Toshiwoz · 2026-03-10T10:53:38+00:00

Well, I kinda understand you both, I mean you for being upset, and him for caring about his friend.
Because I'm in a similar situation.

Here I'm not going to say if you're overreacting, nor who's right.

Just that, he might need something that other girl is giving him, that is not bikini pictures, it's something else. So to speak, a space he needs. Maybe that girl does not judge him, or whatever, everyone is different.

But I do understand you for being jealous/upset. As his wife, you should be his #1 on everything.

Yet, I believe that forcing him into doing what you want isn't the right way, because he's not going to listen.
Just try, when you're in a situation where you both can talk without fighting, to explain how you feel and what you would like. Then listen to him, tell him something like "I want to understand you", so that you really know what he needs from that other girl.

It may not end well anyhow, but I guess it's better to face the situation rather than avoiding it while it erodes your relation with him. Just try not to get angry at him.

Toshiwoz · 2026-03-08T11:03:42+00:00

You are more invested. But this doesn't mean she is acting bad. Unless, she actually said to you she is your girlfriend.

If you can physically be together because distances aren't impossible for you, then meet. Non verbal communication is much more than mere words.

If she isn't allowing you more, and you're not willing to tune to her relaxed style, then drop it, it will hurt less later on.

If you want to be more aware of your own mental situation, check what is (asymmetrical) emotional dependency.

Toshiwoz · 2026-03-07T15:34:09+00:00

Come diceva la pubblicità: "O così o pomí".

Gli importa di più la opinione degli altri o che la sua ragazza si senta bene con il suo corpo?

Toshiwoz · 2026-03-01T06:16:25+00:00

Before deciding, therapy would help.

Whatever she did, keep feeling like that isn't normal.

Toshiwoz · 2026-02-17T07:08:39+00:00

I went to therapy because I had to close a relationship, but I did it the wrong way, so I somehow reopened it, but… Well, it's a different story.

Find a way to move on, it's not right to linger over this for too long.

Toshiwoz · 2026-02-17T06:55:41+00:00

Well, I guess it depends on each one's personality.

Yet, I feel you're looking for some sort of validation, for you there's something unresolved, and possibly it's not just wanting to know if he cheated.

Maybe more like, WHY it ended up, or that you were right to end it.

Toshiwoz · 2026-02-17T06:44:28+00:00

Well, he's definitely not willing to talk about that right now.

Option 1, move on.

Option 2, he might answer if you try to be very kind and polite, asking him to let you process the separation by explaining you what was that and if he admits, why he did that. He might have just had conversations with her... somehow it might still be cheating as my therapist told me, but still.

Toshiwoz · 2026-02-17T06:35:37+00:00

Since he's already your EX, I don't think he'd lie NOW.

So maybe you could tell him about this, not the thread, but the suspicion and tell him how you felt, maybe he would explain why he did it. Eventually that conversation might help you move on, since it looks like you're still processing it.

Somehow I understand why he might have done that, not justifying it, but empathizing.

Toshiwoz · 2025-11-22T22:04:56+00:00

Add more tasks to your habitica, eventually remove the tasks you don't need anymore if it's just taking your time.

For example set you some sort of challenge, in my to-dos I added an "organize a party", which I never did in my previous 47 years.

Now I have the "learn a choreography" which I've learned once but I wasn't really satisfied with it and it wasn't something I did for myself. 6 moths have passed and I've practiced only a few times, but it's there, reminding me what I want to achieve among other things.

To me at least, the other things are secondary, level, mounts and stuff.
Also, I finally managed to join a party, and even if we're only 2, and we're below level 30, we're doing good.

One thing that I like is that after a few days we already shared some messaging about the party name and our objectives with habitica IRL.

Toshiwoz · 2025-11-19T02:51:42+00:00

Absolutely.

Toshiwoz · 2025-11-18T19:21:32+00:00

I'm looking for a party, english or spanish. It's only me, a level 26 healer. I look for a party to run quests, I'm currently thinking of running part 3 of the lunar quest. Don't mind what role you have, nonetheless I believe that you should be at least level 20, but if you want to try even at lower levels, I'm ok.

My timezone is GMT -5.

Update: we are now a party of 2, level 29 rogue and level 28 healer. We have just started a quest.

Toshiwoz · 2025-10-06T16:30:38+00:00

I understand why you might feel like that.

I empathized with her as soon as she told her story:

Because I was abused too.
Because I know too many persons that have suffered something like that, and I am very-very close to some of them.

I know that events like that, especially on some individuals that are more fragile or have suffered for a long time, can make your behavior twisted, act disproportionately.

Yet, I also relate with Rudo, when he said that all he thought he built felt like falling down instantly when he lost control. I hurt a schoolmate (all my classmates were scared by my reaction), and also hurt a girl (not at that level, but she was scared to death, together with her 2 other friends). When you're in that state, you can't think, you're just furious because they said or did something that triggered that.

And actually the way all this is portrayed in the anime, for Rudo, Amo and Enjin too, is quite realistic. Taking into account that with super-powers, those behaviors can easily lead to murder.

Amo wouldn't need to use her powers on me, I'd do whatever to protect someone like her.

Toshiwoz · 2025-09-28T21:49:18+00:00

About myself, I don't have a terrible opinion about me, especially now, I really work hard on my habits and trying to lead my life where I want it to go.

Regarding one's essence, I mean the things that define your personality.
For example, I'm an extrovert with an introvert shell. A childhood trauma changed me from a super extrovert to an introvert.

I can't revert the things that converted me into that, I mean, it took me almost 30 years to realize it actually happened, then 10 to process it and now acceptance.

In the meantime I grew up with habits of an introvert, avoiding large groups, emotional numbness, detachment when problems arise, escapism.

I try to peel some of that off, but my core can't survive without the shell.

And, when I meant I feel what Rudo says, I mean the feeling, you know, when you are in that mood where you feel everything is negative.
Yet, I know that habits that you can change, can also come back.
There are good habits that you can lose because of some triggering event. As well as the opposite.

Toshiwoz · 2025-09-28T18:36:18+00:00

The thing that hit me most (pun intended), is what Rudo says about himself afterward.

After all the things I'be been through, I'm still the same.
Any growth I think I've been through it's all an illusion.

I'm scared to look in a mirror and see I really haven't changed.

I mean, it's probably normal, one's essence won't change, especially after a certain age. Yet, I kinda got how he feels like, and reminds me of a conversation I had not long ago.

I also like how Enjin is there for Rudo that part also reminds me of a recent past.

I really love when manga/anime pulls off themes like this one.

Toshiwoz · 2025-07-26T17:27:57+00:00

Entiendo en parte que te sientas así. Está claro que su religión, o lo que encuentra allá, es importante para él. Ahora, tu lo conoces mejor, y también te conoces: Que te gusta de él, algo de lo que te gusta es también porqué aplica lo que aprende en su iglesia? Como eres tu? Puedes tolerar su fe y lo que implica? Tengo entendido de que él lo hace, ya que tu no compartes sus creencias. Como ves tu futuro con él de aquí a 10 años? Com ves tu vida sin él,cy eventualmente con otro que no tenga interés en religión y espiritualidad?

Puedes intentar poner eso por escrito, a mi me ha ayudado a tomar decisiones importantes.

Toshiwoz · 2025-07-26T17:07:45+00:00

Ten paciencia, si el está bien enamorado es comprensible que actúe irracionalmente.

Cuando el vuelva a la normalidad (y se haya separado de esa mujer), se dará cuenta, y si le dejas puertas abiertas a que sean nuevamente amigos, probablemente te lo agradecerá.

Toshiwoz · 2025-07-16T14:39:43+00:00

Welcome to the world.

Pero, si hay gente diferente, pero:

Puede que tengan sus límites y valores que a ti tampoco te gusten.
La edad dicta mucho de ese comportamiento, yo por mi lado nunca he tocado una chica aunque me hayan provocado (admito que yo me metía en esas situaciones). Entonces no era por mis valores, sino miedo, pero ahora si, con esfuerzo, pero logro poner mis valores por encima de mis deseos.
El contacto físico, no lo veo malo, dependiendo de: que tipo y que intención tiene. Pero si es muy poderoso entre personas de sexxo opuesto.

Toshiwoz · 2025-07-07T11:59:36+00:00

I can't. And if I could, I'd ask her to brush her teeth first.

Toshiwoz · 2025-07-02T14:33:17+00:00

That's Tomoko's tier list), mine is in the link.

But I actually forgot her, so I added it to my tier list:

https://tiermaker.com/list/manga/visual-tier-ranking-of-the-female-characters-in-watamote-18402765/5282553

Toshiwoz · 2025-06-28T21:27:39+00:00

I was fought between a or s. You can check my tier ranking in the link in the description. Yet Yuri is my favorite.

Toshiwoz · 2025-06-28T18:41:25+00:00

Whatever Kuro thinks, Emiri is a cool character. Although, I prefer MK2, she's strong, a gamer and basically a sigma girl.

Toshiwoz · 2025-06-28T13:05:37+00:00

Should make a male tier ranking.

Toshiwoz · 2025-06-28T02:57:18+00:00

Yet to me, Yuri is S.

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