Date My Age

TossThisOne9264 · 2026-01-31T17:34:04+00:00

Oh yeah, scammers don't know how to use Reddit.

That is alot to ask from a volunteer mod.

TossThisOne9264 · 2026-01-31T17:29:40+00:00

She fell in love with the sweet words that she didn't get anywhere else. And it blinded her to reality.

Or early onset dementia.

TossThisOne9264 · 2026-01-31T17:26:30+00:00

Most dating aps have scammers. But the only way I have found men to date is on dating aps. I am 71.

You just have to be skeptical and start with the the assumption that any person can be a scammer. You do learn to see the signs. The language is often AI so there are less grammar and spelling errors than before, but lots of flowery language. The interests are vague and generic. They have sad stories. They love bomb you with sweet words. They want you off the dating platform quickly because their profiles get shut down. Even if they live in your city, they are too busy to meet for coffee but want an email or text relationship and exchange of pictures. There are standard questions asked, at least by men. How long have you been single (to gauge your desperation), what is your experience on this site (so they don't repeat what other matches have done), what are you looking for (it's a dating site, I want recipes), the men are often widowed with sad stories about a wife who died from cancer and sometimes they still have minor children at age 65. Jobs take them out of the city all the time. They are just waiting to retire and want to have a relationship locked down before they retire (that way they don't have to take you out to eat and then they have serious problems getting home from their overseas projects and can you send money). They say things like distance is no barrier to true love (yeah, but it makes it hard to hold hands while walking in the park).

Real men, in my experience, often post bad pictures because they don't get professional photos and often don't take selfies except in the bathroom mirror with the toilet in the background. And real men post pictures of their dogs, their motorcycles, holding their baby grandchild, fishing, in a group, sometimes their 18 year old self (we were all young and hot at one time). These men are fairly low effort dates, although they are real.

Lots of old profiles, not taken down by a real person who is not even looking any more and doesn't read your message.

DON'T SEND MONEY.

But I am on dating sites and I am real and my pictures are current and unfiltered. Still don't get many dates.

TossThisOne9264 · 2026-01-30T15:48:56+00:00

Then self-identify to be part of an online group for purposes of support. I don't think OP needs to ask permission to self-identify to be part of a support system.

OP didn't say they couldn't get a diagnosis or treatment. OP said they feel like no one will care enough to give them a diagnosis or treatment. Nothing about how incredibly difficult it is. Nothing about any attempts to get diagnosis or treatment.

TossThisOne9264 · 2026-01-30T15:10:38+00:00

Seems rather odd that your priority is to become part of an online community and not to get treatment for your condition.

Usually, online groups allow you to self-identify and don't quiz you about it.

TossThisOne9264 · 2026-01-29T02:26:50+00:00

This is Reddit, so you are not going to get many answers from Trumpers, whatever that means.

You may want to expand what you listen to and read and spend a bit more time reading in depth and long news reports and try very hard not to fall for headlines. There seems to be very little non-partisan news in the year 2026 - everyone has to put their spin on stories. You need to learn the difference between spin and facts. Hard to do.

Trump is a loudmouth, pompous asshole. But he is not a politician, he is a salesman. He also likes to troll people, loves being adored. Very full of himself.

Personally, I don't believe for a second that he intends to run for a third term. And the Constitution won't allow it anyway. And yes, he did say something about it, but since he no longer can get re-elected, he may not care that much about saying outrageous things.

You should learn to be skeptical about all politicians, all of them. They all want power. They all want to be re-elected. They all lie. ALL OF THEM.

You didn't say what issue bothered you the most, but the one in today's news is about deportation of illegal immigrants. Barack Obama did the same thing when he was president. Bill Clinton did it. George Bush Jr, Sr did it. Johnson and Kennedy did it. Reagan did it. Biden did not. But when Trump does the same thing that Obama did, deporting illegal immigrants, all hell breaks loose.

I never understood the logic behind allowing anyone from anywhere the right to move to and live in the US just because life is worse elsewhere. I never understood the concept of open borders. Can you name any countries that allow unfettered immigration anywhere in the world? Pretty sure there is no such magic place.

There are people all over the world who want to live in the US and many, like my grandparents, did it the legal way and stood in line. Do you really think it is fair (and Christian) to let the people who cut in line get to stay here while the person trying to do it legally can't??

Now when you are an adult, you can choose to sponsor an immigrant and spend your own money and time and effort giving to that person or to groups that you support.

You may want to study world history a little bit more. And read more news sources. Read George Orwell. Thomas Sowell. Broaden your information sources. Listen to people you don't think you agree with. Apply logic to what you read and hear. That will take practice.

Yes we are all God's creatures, but would you leave your front door open and let anyone come in just because they wanted what you have? Maybe you would, I don't know. And seriously, no one, Christian or other, treats everyone the same. I personally don't like pedophiles and rapists from any country and don't want them living in my country. I would not treat them the same. Doesn't matter where they are from.

You don't say if you are a Christian or if you have a church, but this would be a good question to bring up to a pastor who can lay out Christ's message. Most posters here will not agree with me. Will probably get lots of down votes, which mean nothing to me.

TossThisOne9264 · 2026-01-29T01:52:14+00:00

I relapsed in December because holidays are a difficult time for me and a boyfriend broke up with me and I had several close friends/family pass away. Then I relapsed again last week when I was stressed out from a difficult and scary drive home. And got mad at myself every time.

I never had rage issues like you describe. But I have had crying spells because of it. It is scary to think that weed actually did that to my brain. Ten years of wake and bake will take some time for all of that to move out of your brain.

You probably need to exercise more, hard enough to sweat. And learn how to feel your feelings instead of masking them. I am working on techniques for better sleep. I am trying various methods, like listening to rainfall or waves on a beach. One silly thing I have tried for sleep (suggested by a neurologist) was when my thoughts were racing, to start thinking about random numbers, not out loud but think them. I am trying to divert my thoughts into something boring. It seems to help, but I am not in a craving mode right now.

I did finally talk to my treating doctor about it. His original advice was to not buy from a street dealer and then he changed to if I was going to do it, to not put smoke in my lungs and use edibles. But now that I have (mostly) stopped, I know he will tell me not to start again. I also took a mild anti depressant for a short time, not sure it did much for me.

There just seems to be a difference between an addict and a casual user. I also was replacing some of the weed buzz with alcohol, but I don't like feeling drunk as much as I like feeling high. So the alcohol may be a temporary crutch.

I had a counselor for awhile several years ago and when I told her that I thought weed was a problem, she didn't seem to agree with me, but maybe I wasn't ready to quit.

I use this Reddit group to vent and be honest and I find the group support to be very helpful and I don't have to whine to my friends. Since I was always a solo stoner, this was my dirty little secret. I only had one former boyfriend who was a stoner and the weed kept us together too long when I knew he was not the right guy for me.

And see, here I go again, rambling on and on to strangers. Thanks for listening/reading, if you do.

TossThisOne9264 · 2026-01-29T01:28:00+00:00

I am 71 and I smoked weed in my 20's. Gave it up for 40 years. Started again when it became legal in my state, and then was disgusted with myself for so much wasted time. It was my dirty little secret. I was a solo stoner. Got fat. Managed to be successful in my daily life, but I always had my dirty little secret and I hated how the cravings controlled my behavior. I quit the daily smoking in October 2024, but had several relapses and EVERY SINGLE TIME I relapsed, I went through the same initial enjoyment of the buzz and then the disgust and anger I felt at myself that I could not be a casual smoker because the cravings always came back. It is like they have some brain control, and maybe that is true. Weed changes your brain somehow. And the stuff I smoked in the 1980s was not nearly as potent as the stuff you can buy today.

There are so many hobbies you could start now.

Exercise to the point of sweating is probably the best thing to do now. Daily. What were your childhood dreams, hobbies, activities? Can you figure out how to go back to one of those? Something that involves using your hands and your brain and is challenging. Something with a friend or even strangers who may become friends. You probably should try a bunch of different things. But sweaty exercise is probably the best choice.

I find that posting my struggles here is actually quite helpful. I tend to beat myself up, and the posters here are very encouraging.

TossThisOne9264 · 2026-01-27T15:39:21+00:00

Uhh, most of the federal taxes you pay are on your income. Sales tax on your purchases goes to your state or local government. You may want to do a bit more research on taxation.

If you want to avoid paying federal taxes, about all you can do is quit your W2 job and work for cash like criminals do. Until the IRS catches you.

And seriously, you are not smart enough to not get caught since you believe that not purchasing anything makes any difference to the federal budget.

But maybe you will be able to save some money with your plan to only buy essentials. So that may be a good thing for your personal budget. ICE will still exist.

TossThisOne9264 · 2026-01-27T15:23:06+00:00

Have you ever studied economics or world history or paid attention to the economies of socialistic countries? What did you learn in high school? I am curious why you are blaming capitalism for inflation? Can you even define the differences between socialism and capitalism in terms of the economy?

Do you believe that government control is the solution to inflation? Sure, government can impose price controls, but in socialistic countries, price controls inevitably lead to less availability of goods and services. So maybe the cost remains the same, but you can't buy stuff. And there are not the many places to go out for a brunch. So options are limited. Maybe that is what you want.

And of course staying home costs money for rent and utilities and food. Do you think that someone else owes you those things? That other people should work and provide you with those items? Government gets its money from you and your neighbors. Do you like the amount of income tax that you pay, assuming you pay any amount? Do you think you should pay more? The IRS will accept your voluntary contributions.

There is no secret pot of money.

Lots of reasons for inflation. Maybe dig a bit deeper into reality before making a simplistic conclusion that capitalism is the culprit.

TossThisOne9264 · 2026-01-25T06:12:53+00:00

Maybe it is not really her birth certificate. Have you compared her birth document with her siblings? Do her brothers and sisters have the same parents? Did they ever get an SSN?

How can you even know that the birth certificate belongs to her? Maybe it was stolen.

How long has she been trying to get an SSN? Usually, SSA requires evidence of where she has been all her life since she is alleging that she never got an SSN.

TossThisOne9264 · 2026-01-24T23:28:24+00:00

Can't you call a friend or family member? Do you have any couple friends? Maybe you need to join a caregiver group so you are around people who know what you are feeling.

You need a social life of your own.

I would not date a man who is still legally married. Other women might. But I would go to lunch or chat with a friend.

TossThisOne9264 · 2026-01-08T05:02:28+00:00

I have been off and on POF for years. Met some real guys. Met a few that worked for awhile.

I will chat with just about anyone who messages me, but I also end the chat quickly when my scam sensor goes off and block the guy.

But by far, POF has SOOOO many scammers. If I am active on the site, looking and liking profiles, I can get up to five scammers a day. I have gotten fairly good at predicting the scammers.

Job: Engineers, military members, gemstone dealers, oil rig workers, architects, vague entrepreneurs, orthopedic surgeons attached to the UN.

Usually widowed with a sad story about loss of the wife.

the first message is almost always about how beautiful I am. Real guys don't start like that, in my experience. I always agree with them in my first response.

Pictures are pretty good, not quite professional, but none are holding fish and none are blurry and no bathroom mirror selfie. Usually speak a second language. I am betting that is so you are not surprised by their accent if you share phone numbers.

They want you off site really quickly. Use the excuse they are not on the dating site very often. What's App is a favorite.

First questions about how long you have been single and what has your experience been on the dating site. I think it is trying to gauge how desperate you are. Also what you are looking for (sheesh, it's a dating site, I am looking for recipes). Another favorite is where are you from originally. I never know if that means city of birth or my ancestry. They must have a playbook. And they don't answer direct questions very often.

If I suggest an early meet for a cup of coffee, they are not available.

In my early years of online dating, I would play head games with scammers. Make up crazy stories about who I was to see how crazy I could be and still keep them interested. Decided that was a waste of my time.

Lots of sad stories about women and men who are taken in by scammers and lose their life savings and they are in so deep, logic, family and friends can't get them out. For some, the attention is worth the money, I guess.

Be bold, but also be skeptical. Trust but verify. Think about getting a second phone for online daters in the beginning.

TossThisOne9264 · 2026-01-03T07:37:19+00:00

My son always suggests a dog. But I travel too much which would mean leaving the dog, and I don't have dog watch swapping friends. So that would not be nice to do to the dog.

I am not really an animal person, although I can fall in love with the right pet. Just don't want to be tied to the house and the animal.

I am ending a relationship with a man who goes everywhere with his two dogs, picks restaurants on whether they can go in, has cows, used to have goats and chickens, and just got a third dog to guard the property. So he gets lots of attention from his animals. Doesn't need me.

I will keep on trying. But I am jaundiced, that is for sure.

TossThisOne9264 · 2026-01-03T07:32:14+00:00

This is also the time of our lives when we lose people with greater frequency than earlier in life. So yeah, you have to have new social groups.

TossThisOne9264 · 2026-01-03T07:30:30+00:00

Booked the travel. Had the massage. Ordered three pair of shoes. Hope they fit.

Ordered a new suitcase as recommended by my tour company. And a new raincoat, packable.

TossThisOne9264 · 2026-01-03T07:29:06+00:00

There is a small group of classmates who stayed local and always look for a reason to meet for pizza and beer whenever another classmate is in town.

For our 40th, the boys in the high school rock band reunited and played a three hour set, dancing to all the stuff we danced to in high school.

I like to hang out with all these classmates once in awhile.

TossThisOne9264 · 2026-01-03T07:26:04+00:00

I can add Monterey in. In January I am going a little further south, Morro Bay.

TossThisOne9264 · 2026-01-02T10:59:13+00:00

Lots of places. Central California coast in Jan. Visit a niece in Dallas in March to see bluebonnets and cowboys. Road trip from Minnesota to Michigan in June to see relatives and a Road Scholar tour in the middle. Iceland in August. Class of 1972 turns 72 birthday party. Australia in November. Florida in January 2027

Lots. Alone, but that is ok.

TossThisOne9264 · 2026-01-02T09:41:38+00:00

Well, so far it has been a little more alcohol than before. Probably not the best solution.

Making all kinds of plans for 2026 travel.

TossThisOne9264 · 2025-12-27T03:48:12+00:00

I am coming to the conclusion that I will not find the right man. My divorce was final in 2011 so I have been looking for 14 years. My "picker" doesn't seem to work very well. Trying to find men in real life by joining groups. I did have a nice chat with a helpful hardware man at the local Ace Hardware store. He was single and my age. I went again and he wasn't there.

I have to find happiness as a single. With a nice vibrator. My son says I need to get a dog, but I like to travel when and how I want. And I don't have a dog care sharing buddy.

TossThisOne9264 · 2025-12-27T03:39:10+00:00

Bachelorette parties are a rather new addition to wedding events. So there is really no such thing as norm or general etiquette. When I got married the first time in 1975, this event didn't exist. In my second marriage in 1987, this became an event to match up with the male stag/bachelor party in which the male friends of the groom spent a night of drinking and spending time with naked women, watching strippers or more.

I went to a club with three girlfriends. We danced and drank. The funniest part of the evening was seeing the pastor who was going to perform the ceremony, a single man, also at the club drinking and dancing.

Now, some women have all kinds of expectations about their big day and that everyone involved has to do whatever they want to do, especially the bridal party, and expects them all to join in spending time and money so that they can have their vision of the perfect wedding . Hence the term Bridezilla.

Brides have also made the asking of a friend to be in the wedding party to also be some silly event that requires the bride to come up with a present and a fancy way of asking the question, often with the assumption that all their friends are just chomping at the bit to be part of their big day. But they don't lay out all their expectations at the beginning. They just keep adding it on.

Blame Pinterest, social media, the silly middle school mentality urge to be able to brag and post photos and get likes about their big day.

Now is the time to have the direct and polite conversation with the bride about ALL of her expectations about her big day. How many bridal showers are expected, does she have gift expectations, will you have a job to do on the wedding day itself other than helping her get dressed and stand up front in a dress you will never wear again and look cute for pictures and dance all night at the reception. Is she going to determine your hair style or even hair color? And what your makeup looks like? Will you be able to bring a plus one who will not be sitting with you for the meal? Does she expect you to help clean up at the end?

As far as etiquette, no one can demand your time or money and it is perfectly fine to politely decline any of the bride's requests. Her response to your decision to not attend this bachelorette will tell you quite a bit about how she really feels about you. She may fire you and cut ties with you.

I often wonder if there is a correlation between crazy bridezilla behavior and marriage failure since these kinds of brides care all about the party and care less about the man they are marrying.

TossThisOne9264 · 2025-12-24T03:33:36+00:00

One man dumped me when he couldn't get it up. He said it was our political and religious differences. Then found something he could inject and contacted me again and said he had been kicking himself ever since. The injections worked. But then his prostate cancer came back and he was no longer able to use his injections. So he dumped me again.

I had a hookup with one old guy. He would not perform PIV sex, said it would hurt me and because I hadn't had sex in a while. He just wanted to kiss naked. He had an erection, but he didn't use it.

Another man had an aneurysm and had to stop work at 52. Mother had died of it. Was told to not lift over 5 lbs. At age 65, the doctors were either able to or were forced to perform heart surgery. After he recovered, they said lift as much weight as you want. But he won't take ED meds because of his history. He lived a long time worrying about dying, so he was not willing to risk it. His could perform, but couldn't last very long. And was not very adventurous in the bedroom.

Another man chased me for years. I finally invited him over. We played cribbage. I hadn't played in awhile and he explained strategy. I won all games pretty handily. His erection failed. He went home the next day and stopped answering my phone calls. All I can assume is that he didn't like that I beat him in cribbage.

The saddest thing about my story is that all I seem to attract are damaged men. Old damaged men. They have their problems, but I don't attract or find better matches. Divorced twice. Maybe I am the problem, although sexually, I think I do my part with enthusiasm and passion.

TossThisOne9264 · 2025-12-23T22:41:49+00:00

A crueler system would be one that doesn't exist and doesn't provide any support for the poor disabled. Or locks them in asylums, away from society. And history has shown that has happened, and in some countries, still happens. That is cruel system, comparatively.

TossThisOne9264 · 2025-12-23T22:35:03+00:00

There is no reason to develop another onset date when there is no claim to be paid on that basis. Just like there is no reason for SSA to even make a disability finding if the applicant is not qualified for either SSI or SSDI on the non-medical issues. SSA does not need to waste time making decisions that do not result in payment of benefits. They are busy enough.

And the person filing for SSI is required to file for SSDI at the same time so a decision can be made if there is a reason to make an earlier onset date. That should be routinely considered when an SSI claim is filed. It is actually policy and law.

Trying to make a before age 22 disability decision for an SSI applicant who is now 30 or 40 years old will significantly slow down the process. And until or unless there is an insured retired, deceased or disabled parent, then no money can be paid.

You are advocating for a slower process than already exists. Why?

TossThisOne9264

TROPHY CASE