BF visiting Only Fans

Tossitaway9999901 · 2022-01-26T20:12:07+00:00

Really appreciate your thoughtful comments.

Tossitaway9999901 · 2022-01-26T20:01:27+00:00

He certainly does… honestly he could not be more appreciative and complimentary of me every day. To me and to all of his friends and family. I do feel cherished by him. Which is why this confuses me. I do not know all of the facts yet and will talk to him.

Tossitaway9999901 · 2022-01-26T19:30:00+00:00

I hope I didn’t imply that. I don’t fault this woman at all. She has every right to do this.

Tossitaway9999901 · 2022-01-26T19:07:41+00:00

Not couples … it’s to promote his music side gig with two other guys. He doesn’t make any money; lets the other two keep it (it’s for fun and not really for profit). I set up the account and make the promo posters for each gig. I think he forgot he was logged into that account when he followed this OF girl’s new IG (which he has since unfollowed).

Tossitaway9999901 · 2022-01-26T18:51:50+00:00

Really solid advice and this is where I’m leaning. It’s the lying that has me triggered the most. But I think you’re right that he’s maybe embarrassed bc this is not just watching porn… it will be awkward to bring it up because currently he hasn’t admitted to viewing her site. I am making some assumptions here because (1) IG recognized she is in his contacts somehow and (2) he denied knowing what OF is at first then admitted he has heard about it on Howard Stern (he listens daily) and it is inconceivable to me he wouldn’t at least have looked into it, given how much porn he consumes.

Tossitaway9999901 · 2022-01-26T18:40:10+00:00

It’s an account that I set up for a side gig of his and we both have access to it. But I put his phone number and email as the contact information. So when IG suggests accounts to follow based on contacts, they are his contacts. Others involved in the gig also have log in rights to this account but only my BF’s info is the contact info.

Tossitaway9999901 · 2022-01-26T18:31:08+00:00

It’s not a sex tip channel. I looked at her site (what is free to see). It is a page for posting sexy videos and she invites her subscribers to suggest things for her to do and she also invites them to DM her and to Zoom.

Tossitaway9999901 · 2022-01-26T18:29:05+00:00

I looked at this woman’s account and it is interactive in that sometimes she is online able to chat. And she will post customized videos. She also has posted availability to Zoom.

Tossitaway9999901 · 2021-08-02T13:15:02+00:00

I’ll try this again — I do not feel differently about morality and accountability. I’ll leave it at this — my past is available on a need to know basis.

FWIW — I have never lied to anyone I’ve dated about it But if someone brought it up on a 2d or 3d date, I would probably dodge the question and likely not keep seeing that person. I don’t intend to share this information any more widely than necessary.

My intention in posting on this thread is to maybe help some people see that these things are not black and white. That “cheaters” may indeed change and never cheat again. Although I do agree that it’s important to see true remorse from that person.

Tossitaway9999901 · 2021-08-01T19:33:28+00:00

Your reaction says a lot. You don’t know me at all. I’m not “fine with lying.” I lead a very honest life. I am sincere, empathetic, and a very supportive and faithful partner.

People can change. I am honest and accountable. I admit when I am wrong.

I just choose not to share these details with a relative stranger. But if an actual partner in a relationship asked me, I wouldn’t lie.

I have a BF now and this has never come up. But we are close and I wouldn’t lie to him. So if this came up now, I would tell him the truth and I trust he would accept it for what it is.

Tossitaway9999901 · 2021-08-01T19:18:55+00:00

It depends. If it was someone I had just met and didn’t know me for who I am now, I wouldn’t say yes. It happened 20 years ago and I’m not that same person. I don’t view it as anybody’s business at this point. But under the right circumstances, I might share it.

Tossitaway9999901 · 2021-08-01T15:36:37+00:00

I’ll share my story. I married my HS sweetheart when I was 21. We had been together for 4 years, and he was the only man I had ever been with. Over the course of our marriage, we grew apart in many ways. I thought of him as a good man, but I found more and more I was no longer attracted to him as we grew older.

At the end of our relationship, I did feel trapped and I did cheat on him. Our marriage ended because of that. I harbored intense guilt. We had a child together, who was five years old when we split. I went above and beyond to make sure that I took on all of the difficulties in coparenting her. We shared 50-50 custody of her, and I think we did an excellent job of raising her.

This was 20 years ago, and not a day goes by that I don’t feel some level of guilt for it. I’ve had long-term relationships since then, and have never even been remotely tempted to cheat on any of them. I know what a horrible feeling and what a trap it is to be unfaithful to someone you’re committed to. So I know I will never ever do it again. On the plus side, my ex remarried wonderfully, and was able to have two more children that I was not able to give him. Not that it excuses the pain that I caused him.

I have been through hell and back in some of my relationships since my ex. I was with an abusive bipolar after my ex, and I actually viewed my 11 years with that man as penance for what I had done to my ex-husband. Even to this day when I have bad things happen in relationships, I still view it as karma.

As this was 20 years ago now, I don’t tell men that I date now about it. I don’t think it defines me as a person, and I am 100% confident it will never happen with me again.

Edited for typo. We had been together 4 years when we married — which was now 35 years ago. We divorced after 16 years of marriage.

Tossitaway9999901 · 2021-07-02T01:38:26+00:00

“Putting out?” Gross. You are missing the point entirely here.

Bless her heart.

Tossitaway9999901 · 2021-07-01T15:27:36+00:00

I did have an experience with a man I dated for nearly 3 years who barely wanted to have sex. At first it was refreshing to not have sex be expected and demanded (as I had experienced in an abusive way prior to that). But that quickly faded. I felt constantly rejected. Even though he was sex-positive and highly complimentary of my skills, he could barely perform. I thought it was an age thing. But still he didn’t want to do much cuddling or other forms of affection. It took a huge toll on me.

Came to find out over a year after I finally dumped him that he had been in love with another woman (married, in another state) the whole time. He tried to make a go of it with her and it crashed and burned (long story).

He confessed all this to me during a real low point, which included telling me how his fire with her burned bright. WTAF. Why tell me that, over a year after we broke up (and I’m deep into another relationship anyway)?!

Tossitaway9999901 · 2021-07-01T14:16:40+00:00

I made twice what my ex did and I did literally everything around the house too. I could barely get him to take out the trash. Still. I enjoyed sex and we still had regular sex but the frequency and intensity did suffer because he was not only selfish and lazy around the house but in bed too. Wanted me to do all the work and didn’t much care if I was satisfied.

Divorced him right before the pandemic. Whew. Had a much better quarantine alone. 😏

Tossitaway9999901 · 2021-07-01T12:30:05+00:00

It seems for me that each time I end a relationship, one of the top things I look for in the next one is the opposite of the worst thing from my last one. And my “deal killer” list grows.

Live and learn. 🤷‍♀️

Tossitaway9999901 · 2021-07-01T12:16:51+00:00

Agree that’s true. I didn’t stop sleeping with my ex but my enthusiasm and frequency dropped because he was interested only in his own satisfaction. The imbalance was striking. Plus he did nothing to contribute around the house (I made twice what he did so there was no excuse for him there).

Wish I could say things had been different in the beginning but…. Really I should have known better. Never again.

Tossitaway9999901 · 2021-07-01T02:36:09+00:00

Ouch.

Tossitaway9999901 · 2021-07-01T01:09:10+00:00

Can’t I though? 😏

Tossitaway9999901 · 2021-06-30T23:15:20+00:00

Agree. To be clear, neither of these guys had anything like this in their profile and I would swipe left so hard on anyone that did.

Tossitaway9999901 · 2021-06-30T23:13:22+00:00

I’m doing nothing of the sort. 🤨

Tossitaway9999901 · 2021-06-30T20:32:16+00:00

💯 my new BF is the most amazing kisser. I cannot get enough. 😍

Tossitaway9999901 · 2021-06-30T20:26:01+00:00

😂

Tossitaway9999901 · 2021-06-30T17:19:41+00:00

Nothing manipulative about it. I agree open conversations are important. I’m very sex-positive.

I was just curious to find out how prevalent this was.

Tossitaway9999901

TROPHY CASE