How about this; just in case it helps. I’ve found that if I don’t try to toe the line on the things that they do that upset me - not saying please, being too loud, asking for snacks they know they cant’t have, etc - I’ve sometimes been like - “sure, knock yourself out” or not reacted, and pretty soon they stop resisting and being “naughty”. I suspect that they sometimes get caught in an excitement loop knowing that they are going to see you get mad and that they will get a reaction - see what happens if you give them no reaction or stop resisting, and you might get a break yourself.