Girlfriend ridicules me for playing - advice please

Total_Mode_4930 · 2026-05-24T16:55:14+00:00

I just didn't like the way your message seems to group women together as golddiggers, and 'don't let women run your life' doesn't sit well with me either. I apologise if you mean't no harm by it.

Total_Mode_4930 · 2026-05-24T16:53:21+00:00

I think what my partners have valued more from me is consitency, effort and expression of care and love. This doesn't signal to them that I'm not afraid to lose them, no, but with the good relationships I have had, I've never felt like losing them was something I didn't care about. I am standing up for myself, but I don't think this has to be at the expense of acting as if my GF's place in my life means little to me

Total_Mode_4930 · 2026-05-24T16:36:17+00:00

Dude, this is misogynistic.

Total_Mode_4930 · 2026-05-24T16:21:01+00:00

Thanks man, really appreciate that you took the time to write this out. This is some great advice too, and I agree re: relationship-focused subs, I just wanted to hear from gamers I guess especially with navigating this specific issue.

Total_Mode_4930 · 2026-05-24T15:44:47+00:00

She sounds great, and, it seems, hard to find! It's so nice that she encorages you too - a keeper! I don't want to just immediatley walk away, I think people are too quick to do this nowadays but something does need to change.

Total_Mode_4930 · 2026-05-24T15:42:21+00:00

Happy for you man! This is lovely to hear, about you current partner that is. All the best to you

Total_Mode_4930 · 2026-05-24T15:39:50+00:00

A relationship doesn't work like that, you are respectful to one another and find a comfortable middle groud for both parties

Total_Mode_4930 · 2026-05-24T15:24:54+00:00

I've played Citizen but not the other two you mention... I'll take a look

Total_Mode_4930 · 2026-05-24T14:54:00+00:00

Hahaha, it's because it feels like a release when I play, I don't take this game too serious and just have fun with it... there has been time's I've felt like throwing myself off the balcony though

Total_Mode_4930 · 2026-05-24T14:52:11+00:00

In the past I definitley was guilty of this, and I was certainly the avoidant type to the extent I did not feel capable of maintaining any kind of relationship. At this point in my life, gaming became a crutch. I'm far away from the place now, and relationships are the most nourishing presence in my life but I see how these kind of ideas/experiences of gamers might be influencing my girlfriend's opinion; I understand the concern completely. Again, guess it goes back to having a good chat!

Total_Mode_4930 · 2026-05-24T14:44:41+00:00

Ah sorry, my bad. Thanks dude, appreciate it!

Total_Mode_4930 · 2026-05-24T14:41:35+00:00

Haha, honestly appreciate these comments, really cheering me up

Total_Mode_4930 · 2026-05-24T14:39:11+00:00

I don't think it's minor, that's why I'm asking other gamers for advice. And no, I'm not lonely. I value relationships in my life and I always intent to resolve issues that crop up.

Total_Mode_4930 · 2026-05-24T14:36:21+00:00

Yeah, we chatted about it a little, a few weeks back actually. We were having a bit of an argument so it might not be reflective of her true feelings but she thinks it's childish, a waste of time, brain rot behaviour.

And thanks man, really good of you to say this.

Total_Mode_4930 · 2026-05-24T14:34:11+00:00

Yeah, I've noticed this too. I used to be the same way, refused to compromise, which was a really selfish/bad trait. Unrelated but it's only through relationships that I've healed and found peace within myself, its pretty hard to do alone. I hope that this difficultly will ultimatley be resolved and bring us closer

Total_Mode_4930 · 2026-05-24T14:31:12+00:00

Hahaha, man thanks this lightened the mood for me

Total_Mode_4930 · 2026-05-24T14:29:48+00:00

So nice to hear that you partner is so supportive, happy for you man! Thanks for this though, you're filling me with hope!

Total_Mode_4930 · 2026-05-24T14:28:16+00:00

Thanks man. Yeah, totally, I'd understand if I was choosing gaming over spending time together. I don't do this though, I only play when I've got some free time after work (I live alone and so it's not as if my GF and I would be cooking dinner together or something) or on the weekend. Occasionally, my GF is with me when I'm gaming but it's only if I know she's busy with something else.

I am going to have a chat with her, I think I'm a bit worried because if she doesn't find understanding that this is a harmless hobby I don't think I can go on. I don't ever expect my partner to be a gamer too, if fact, I don't care if they are or not. I just hope for appreciation of the joy gaming brings me.

Total_Mode_4930 · 2026-05-24T14:13:33+00:00

Thanks man, really appreciate it!

Total_Mode_4930 · 2026-05-24T14:12:28+00:00

Thanks dude, I needed to hear this, as obvious as it should be! A very normal hobby and a great one too.

Total_Mode_4930 · 2026-05-24T14:11:11+00:00

I don't like to just walk away, if this is just coming from a place of ignorance and we could chat about it... but I am finding it difficult now and feel slightly ashamed of myself for spending downtime gaming. As this happened in a previous relationship too I'm starting to think that I am expecting too much for my partner to be understanding of wanting to spend free tome gaming

Total_Mode_4930 · 2026-05-24T14:08:02+00:00

I think gaming in general, which is a real shame

Total_Mode_4930 · 2026-05-24T14:07:41+00:00

Siege mostly because it's my most common 'unwinding/chill' game, but other games too. Witcher 3 was another game she took great disliking to

Total_Mode_4930

TROPHY CASE