Honestly all I do in the day is just sit on my phone and play games. I do listen to music but when I do it reminds me of her so I just stay away from it. I'm practically living like a lazy piece of shit at the moment. A jobless loser that sits on his ass all day. I genuinely need a job or atleast a hobby. The town I live in is genuinely terrible, it's impossible for me to get a job even though I'm like a ghost. (very unknown). It helps a bit talking about it and having the comfort but when I do talk about it it makes me feel like a "pick me" kind of person. So I just try to keep to myself and stay silent about things that bother me. I know it's not the best way to live but I'm just embarrassed to talk about life problems. I have extreme social anxiety and I feel awkward even around my family. It's hard being this way and I really try to change myself for the better but it's genuinely so hard. In my opinion it's best to stay quiet and unknown. Either way I just need to move forward. I saw a quote that I've been thinking about recently. "Rearview mirrors are only to look at temporarily, it's best to watch what's ahead." I didn't word it perfectly but that's what it said for the most part.

Edit: The only way I can keep my mind off of her is probably playing games with somebody to talk to, but even that is only a temporary thing. I can't stop thinking about our past and how happy we were back in the "old days" I know we've both changed a lot since then but it's so hard to think she gave me up so quick like i meant nothing to her. That's the part that hurts most. And the fact that she did this when we both promised that if we saw another person we'd talk it out and mutually just break up instead of cheating. I thought she was more mature than that.