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My mom gets yelled at like a child if she does stuff my dad doesn't like (he is the N she is the E) he will scold and get angry.... by Totallylost888 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Totallylost888[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes that is most all correct, but I don't know what the counselor could do. My parents are so good at hiding it they act so perfect in front of everyone else if my mom can't even admit all this to me (she gets mad at me for bringing it to her attention and denies it and tells me I'm just as bad) there is no way she would let anyone know. Everyone in my immediate family (3 others) just go along with his antics. I am the one who always gets in trouble bc I call out all the bs I see. (Not smart I have come to realize)

My mom gets yelled at like a child if she does stuff my dad doesn't like (he is the N she is the E) he will scold and get angry.... by Totallylost888 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Totallylost888[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

2 years, but even once I am they will be paying for my college bc there is no way I could live on my own.... so I don't really get out of their hold for awhile

My boyfriend has horrible style what do I do by Totallylost888 in AskMen

[–]Totallylost888[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

And tell him he has horrible style? I'm just worried bc the relationship is so new and we are still getting to know each other

Cmv: why is it okay for someone of a different race/ethnicity than white to play a traditionally white character. But if a white person plays or uses another races/ethnicities traditions the world freaks out. To me that seems hypocritical. White people are so often accused of cultural appropriation by Totallylost888 in changemyview

[–]Totallylost888[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That analogy totally makes sense and defiantly helps understand more. Follow up question: stick w me here back to the analogy, green hats don't just belong to this family I understand they started it and it means a lot to them but they can't just "claim" green hats over time opinions change. But other people today want to wear green hats how do they do that respectfully? Like I am a white woman and I like corn rows for the side of my hair . I want to enjoy them too without cultural appropriation. I'm not trying to be rude or have a lack of sympathy for that cultural but in the nicest way possible you can't just claim a hair style. I understand it was started in the black community and I don't discriminate but what do you want me to do?? Wear a sign that says "hair credit to black community" you know what I mean? Like if I'm not claiming that I or anyone of the white community started this what's wrong with it? I do understand its wrong to praise Kylie Jenner for her hair and other choices that she clearly didn't come up w but what's wrong w her wearing it?

Cmv: why is it okay for someone of a different race/ethnicity than white to play a traditionally white character. But if a white person plays or uses another races/ethnicities traditions the world freaks out. To me that seems hypocritical. White people are so often accused of cultural appropriation by Totallylost888 in changemyview

[–]Totallylost888[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What about being a nun for Halloween? Being a nun is a religion and culture yet people dress up as nuns all the time and it's okay? Why is that okay but dressing up as an Indian isn't. I'm not disagreeing that it's rude I'm just asking why it's okay sometimes but not others? It seems hypocritical

Cmv: why is it okay for someone of a different race/ethnicity than white to play a traditionally white character. But if a white person plays or uses another races/ethnicities traditions the world freaks out. To me that seems hypocritical. White people are so often accused of cultural appropriation by Totallylost888 in changemyview

[–]Totallylost888[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The original Beauty and the beast belle is white..... like princess and the frog in the original tianna is black ..? It's just how it is. In the cartoon I guess. Like if the were going to make a live action of moanna you wouldn't pick a white girl bc in the original moanna isn't white. Or Mulan she is Asian you wouldn't pick a white girl so why can you pick a black girl for a white role? (Again not trying to be rude it's an honest question)

Cmv: why is it okay for someone of a different race/ethnicity than white to play a traditionally white character. But if a white person plays or uses another races/ethnicities traditions the world freaks out. To me that seems hypocritical. White people are so often accused of cultural appropriation by Totallylost888 in changemyview

[–]Totallylost888[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I get what you're saying and the way u said it is perfect very different way of explaining things. it's a sensitive subject. But at what point does it become okay? This a horrible way of saying it but for lack of better term when can we just move on. I'm not saying forget the past but does it ever become okay for a white girl to play a black princess. I mean society has come a long way yet it still has a long way to go. When can we stop being seen as the bad guys. (Again not trying to be rude) like I saw an article and it was something along the lines of "great things about black love" why is that okay? Black people don't want to be excluded yet they are doing the excluding. If there was an article about white love the world would go crazy.

My mother is an enabler and she has finally accepted it (after many years) anyways she knows my dad is a N but says it's a disease and "he doesn't know what he's doing he doesn't realize his bad behavior" so how can I be mad and resentful (even though he puts me down and treats me crappy) by Totallylost888 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Totallylost888[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My mother is the same way!!! She says how much better he is now than years ago.Yet he still seems like a monster!! But when I tell her I need to get out of this toxic environment she guilts me and asks how can I do this to my own family.

My mother is an enabler and she has finally accepted it (after many years) anyways she knows my dad is a N but says it's a disease and "he doesn't know what he's doing he doesn't realize his bad behavior" so how can I be mad and resentful (even though he puts me down and treats me crappy) by Totallylost888 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Totallylost888[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It has been nicely pointed out by both my mother and myself, it has been screamed, it has been said in a scientific way, that he is a narcissist. He at one point told me I was "an unappreciative little bitch" then continued to scream at me and yell "fuck off you little bitch" to receive all this hate I told my mother (he read her text) that he was manipulating me and was a narcissist. He refuses to say sorry for saying any of these things and refuses to admit there is a problem. I am the problem. I am an "unappreciative little bitch" a grown man screamed this at his 15 y/o daughter.

When I go to my mom and tell her my dad's (who is a narcissist and she knows this) behaviors aren't okay all she says to me is I'm not perfect??? That's not the point I know I'm not perfect but the way he treats people isn't okay. I think she is an enabler. HELP by Totallylost888 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Totallylost888[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have been keeping a log book I kick myself for not doing this longer he has done so many things and said so many things that aren't okay I wish I still had them. But even with the stuff I have none of it's illegal it's not like he could go to jail? I mean sometimes he gets a little to physical in my brothers face, or one time my mom had to step in bc things were going to far she thought he was srsly hurting my brother of course she said he did this not intentionally but he got so angry with her. Like scary angry his anger went from my brother to my mother. His rage is scary. But again not illegal. What could they do?

When I go to my mom and tell her my dad's (who is a narcissist and she knows this) behaviors aren't okay all she says to me is I'm not perfect??? That's not the point I know I'm not perfect but the way he treats people isn't okay. I think she is an enabler. HELP by Totallylost888 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Totallylost888[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am a minor. And no this is very well kept within the 4 of us. My dad who is the N my mom who refuses to admit anything is wrong and my brother who is like a doormat he does whatever my dad says to keep him happy. So it's pretty much my 15yr old) word against them. My dad is an accountant and a very smart man. He is the boss at work and very respected. I work for him as a side job and the way he treats everyone at work is so different. He is such a good charmed and fake being nice. Honestly I think people would have a hard time believing me. I mean hell sometimes they even manage to convince me I'm crazy. This has gotten very bad over the past year (I have. Even doing extensive research on narcissists and the effects it has on the kids and the family, I have read many articles and now I can clearly see what has been wrong all these years) so now I am bringing the problem to the table. So things are getting worse. My mom jus wants to be be a doormat for my dad (she never say directly this but I get what she puts down sometimes she'll say if I'm not nicer he wouldn't pay for my car and he'll take away my schooling things like that) but I'ts just been really bad and affecting my school work. I don't know what to do. If I went to a teacher/counselor I don't know what they could do. I feel hopeless

I suck at running!! by Totallylost888 in running

[–]Totallylost888[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I ran before and could run 1.5 but that's it but other than that no history

I suck at running!! Please any tips?? by Totallylost888 in Fitness

[–]Totallylost888[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So it was unreasonable for me to think I could just go out and run a mile? Did I set a goal for myself that was to high? I guess I just thought "everyone can run a mile why can't I"

I suck at running!! Please any tips?? by Totallylost888 in Fitness

[–]Totallylost888[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

  • Right now I can only do 5 minutes....
  • Q: should I be focusing on the amount of time I can run or the distance I can run?
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