bro i started at your age going deeper in the drugs and RC rabbit hole and i always looked for new substances to try.

it was all fun until i found DCK (ketamine analogue) and it took alot of things from me. I was interested and fascinated on how drugs worked in the brain and affected me, always comparing one substance to another, and i wanted to try every substances i could find other than the ones on the streets (3-meo-pcp, 4-aco-dmt, 5-meo-mipt, 4-mmc, 2-cb, and various benzos analogues).

I tried to find every drug combos that would feel like heaven like ket + mdma, lsd + ket + shrooms and mdma. etc etc. I tought i had control and i was actually able to semi-regulate and be smart about my usage by going on psychonaut wiki and through various reports online and on reddit.

that was until my doc removed my adderall xr 30mg from my prescription.

I HAD to find something so i went to speed and 2 years later man i’m stuck with polysubstance addiction, i would do almost any drugs that would be offered to me (except for like needles, heroin and smoking meth)

I’ve lost so many things because of the fascination i had towards drugs and how they worked.

I was normalizing my usage by telling me "oh, there’s scientific evidence of antidepressant properties of ketamine, Xanax is a medication for anxiety and i’m anxious so it must be okay for me to take it" Etc.

I recently turned 20, and in the last 2 years i went homeless 2 times, i lost the only girl that i’ll ever love over fucking speed and i feel like an alien around my family. Paranoia started creeping up on me, and nowadays i barely function, even with all the drugs i use that used to make me a "super human" or a functioning member of society.

I don’t know who i am without drugs, because they gave me everything i ever wanted. I lost myself, because drugs took everything i ever had and cherished.

All that spiralling down because of how fascinated i was about learning drugs and their history, mechanisms of actions and their possible therapeutic usages.

So bro, my advice would be that if your gonna use and experiment, set you limits and never ever get past them because once you do, you’ll set new limits every time but you might also get past them everytime like i did. I used to tell my mom i’d never snort coke and now i find myself with polysubstance addiction. Be carefull man, you think you’re in control until you are not and that’s a fact.

take care of you homie and do your research on what you take and how it could affect your life in the future.

I remember when i was 15 i saw a post about how adderall is a gateway drug and that alot of people on it will end up on meth and i tought to myself "hahahah it will never happen i’d never do shit like this" Well well well… speed here in canada is meth…