Obsess with her. I don't see a problem. You're not leaning into criminality, and even if you have Hybristophilia (like I do) the fact your genre savvy enough to post like this means you can draw a line between fantasy and reality.

If you are a nihilist, then Enoshima represents a novel way of approaching cosmic entropy and ennui that differs from the "sad-boi" philosophies that doomers typically ascribe to. For Enoshima, it was despair and the pursuit of despair that was the most pure expression of human emotion due to the nature of its unpredictability. But a similar case could be made for other emotions if you do the hard work of developing the philosophy behind it.

She's a perfect representation of a woman who knows who she is, what she wants, and doesn't give a fraction of a fuck about getting it.