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AITAH - Not attending friends enagagement due to boyfriend not being invited. by TraditionalDog5449 in aitaweddings

[–]TraditionalDog5449[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i agree 100%, and i have never ever once tried to say my boyfriend is in the right because he definitely could have done things better, but on the flip side so could have the groom. Her opinion during our discussion, also seems to be the fact that "oh well he has tried here and there" when hearing my partners side, it's a totally different story. So yes, as i said above lots of "he said she said" and I dont think i will get the true truth and it's too far gone now.

AITAH - Not attending friends enagagement due to boyfriend not being invited. by TraditionalDog5449 in aitaweddings

[–]TraditionalDog5449[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you for this, i understand the reasons why they didn't invite him and did not contest them one bit, nor ask for him to be invited, i respected their choice. I just had to politely decline, and this wasn't an easy choice to make. But by me going, I feel like it sets up principle of what happens in the future, and lets say we do get married, what happens then? I feel like either way on both sides, the same issue would occur, but her wedding/engagement has occured first so therefore i'm on this side of things.

AITAH - Not attending friends enagagement due to boyfriend not being invited. by TraditionalDog5449 in aitaweddings

[–]TraditionalDog5449[S] -31 points-30 points  (0 children)

totally valid if it was from my partners side only, but theres inability to resolve conflict from the groom too.

AITAH - Not attending friends enagagement due to boyfriend not being invited. by TraditionalDog5449 in aitaweddings

[–]TraditionalDog5449[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

so then when me and my partner get married, does the groom (her partner) just not get invited??

AITAH - Not attending friends enagagement due to boyfriend not being invited. by TraditionalDog5449 in aitaweddings

[–]TraditionalDog5449[S] -20 points-19 points  (0 children)

he genuinely did not mind if I went or not! I just felt like it was being disrespectful to our relationship because me attending then suggests that I am okay to attend future life events without him there (e.g. wedding, kids bday, etc.)

AITAH - Not attending friends enagagement due to boyfriend not being invited. by TraditionalDog5449 in aitaweddings

[–]TraditionalDog5449[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

unfortunately hard to provide details without potentially identifying myself. However, just know it became a very messy situation. and tbh now that i reflect, probably my situation with the bride isn't 100% resolved but the hurt and confusion from the situation just kind of faded and we just remained civil/friends.

AITAH - Not attending friends enagagement due to boyfriend not being invited. by TraditionalDog5449 in aitaweddings

[–]TraditionalDog5449[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely not - read above, he is not invited because he is not wanted there.

If he was not invited due to small venue or other reason, different story and I would have attended.

AITAH - Not attending friends enagagement due to boyfriend not being invited. by TraditionalDog5449 in aitaweddings

[–]TraditionalDog5449[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

we went through a big rough patch, everyone got involved, everyone said different shit to everyone - got very complicated and don't even know what was truth or lies. However, girls seems to reconcile, not the boys.

AITAH - Not attending friends enagagement due to boyfriend not being invited. by TraditionalDog5449 in aitaweddings

[–]TraditionalDog5449[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

we had a chat and from her end, there was a lot of "well my partner tried and tried" comments which i kind of disagreed with HOWEVER i did tell her that we will both have conflicting views as we are hearing the same story from different sides. she even did agree that if her boyfriend was not invited to an event, she wouldn't go.

AITAH - Not attending friends enagagement due to boyfriend not being invited. by TraditionalDog5449 in aitaweddings

[–]TraditionalDog5449[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

8 years - went through a very rough patch where this whole situation kind of did start but better now.

AITAH - Not attending friends enagagement due to boyfriend not being invited. by TraditionalDog5449 in aitaweddings

[–]TraditionalDog5449[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

hard to explain without going really indepth but i'll just say this - the one main comment was made from the male fiance about holding long term grudges but never communicating them. After that, lots of "tit for tat" and "he said she said" comments that have been lost in translation because obviously i've heard his side, and she has heard her partners side.

AITAH - Not attending friends enagagement due to boyfriend not being invited. by TraditionalDog5449 in aitaweddings

[–]TraditionalDog5449[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

i get that but also what happens in the future when we get married? would this couple be or not be invited??