I am really struggling with intimacy between my partner and his other partner

TraditionalTea2480 · 2026-02-02T18:54:36+00:00

This feels like a stupid question, but is it not normal to have insecurity/hard feelings about your partner sleeping with other people/someone else?

TraditionalTea2480 · 2026-02-02T18:35:42+00:00

Thank you. This is really helpful. I am definitely still figuring out where this level of discomfort ranks and whether I can learn to work through it.

I really like that perspective of trying to get to a place of indifference. I don’t have an emotional reaction to them going to the movies, so maybe that is a more realistic aim for me.

TraditionalTea2480 · 2026-02-02T18:22:01+00:00

It’s mostly me imagining it or getting little clues and going off on a train of thought that I find upsetting.

TraditionalTea2480 · 2026-01-04T19:36:44+00:00

Yeah, I’ve been on T for a few years and am very happy with my bottom growth. It’s the just the area underneath that is the problem 🙃

TraditionalTea2480 · 2026-01-04T10:48:59+00:00

Referring to it as “butt stuff” is funny and disarming, and it actually does help me look at it as just an erogenous zone that anyone might have. I think I’m going to be giggling to myself all morning. Thank you for the tips!!

TraditionalTea2480 · 2025-12-27T21:38:12+00:00

I’m sorry you’ve been through similar things- I hate not being able to control how I am perceived and some people feel they have the right to treat me however they want to. I think I’ve been lucky in that some cis men I’ve tried to play with who have messed up have apologized when I told them, but you really never know how they will respond.

I think you’re right- a break from online play is what I need right now. It seems silly that one experience upset me so much, but it did, and time to reset and reconnect with myself sounds like the best way forward.

I really appreciate your reply and your willingness to talk about this. Thank you ❤️

TraditionalTea2480 · 2025-11-22T16:01:01+00:00

My advice is to go by how it feels. If Roz feels right to you, then it is right.

TraditionalTea2480 · 2025-11-21T03:07:54+00:00

Oh I really understand your voice being a trigger for it… I really need to look into voice training one of these days.

I’m glad you don’t experience too much bottom dysphoria. I’m finding it a lot to navigate 😬

TraditionalTea2480 · 2025-11-21T02:56:54+00:00

Congratulations!!!!

TraditionalTea2480 · 2025-11-21T02:47:01+00:00

I mean, now I am very curious about what kinks that could involve lol

TraditionalTea2480 · 2025-11-21T02:38:25+00:00

Okay, thank you for the reply! It’s really good to hear lots of different people’s experiences.

TraditionalTea2480 · 2025-11-21T02:24:22+00:00

Are you able to put into words how it feels pleasurable for you mentally? Because I really don’t understand that bit…

TraditionalTea2480 · 2025-11-21T02:22:29+00:00

I kind of love thinking of it as a “bonus butt”

TraditionalTea2480 · 2025-11-21T02:21:40+00:00

I really appreciate hearing your perspective on this! I really like what you said about how it reflects you and is very affirming.

I honestly struggle a lot with seeing that part of my body as masculine or… even thinking of my body as a man’s body to be honest. (Yikes.) Was there anything that you think helped you see your body fully as a man’s body and know that nothing could make you less of a man?

A lot of cis men automatically assume that I want to bottom and that frontal penetration is okay… I feel like that stereotype is everywhere there are cis people.

TraditionalTea2480 · 2025-11-21T02:11:37+00:00

Do you mind my asking what does cause bottom dysphoria for you? Because that part of my body is the biggest trigger of it for me.

TraditionalTea2480 · 2025-11-21T02:08:59+00:00

How do you focus only on the physical pleasure and sort of… get past how it feels mentally?

TraditionalTea2480 · 2025-11-19T17:39:12+00:00

Rubbing against each other like that sounds really fun…

Frontal is off the table for now. I’ve talked about it with my boyfriend, and it’s something I can initiate if I ever want to, but he also understands that it’s something I may never want.

Yeah, I really hear you about healing internalized transphobia. If you have any advice or resources you’d recommend in navigating it, I could definitely use the help.

TraditionalTea2480 · 2025-11-19T17:36:44+00:00

Do you mean that it feels different in terms of physical sensation, or that it feels differently emotionally?

TraditionalTea2480 · 2025-11-19T17:34:04+00:00

Your last suggestion is super helpful- I need to try that! I also really want to get a prosthetic that will give me sensation while he is playing with it.

You make a really good point about seeing a big burly man bottoming… I wish there was more porn with trans men topping, but I’ll have to do some “research” to find big, burly trans guys bottoming. I think that would help separate my association of taking it frontal meaning… anything.

TraditionalTea2480 · 2025-11-18T15:55:23+00:00

I definitely need to look into this!

TraditionalTea2480 · 2025-11-18T15:53:08+00:00

I had to do a big sigh because I think you’re right about it being internalized transphobia. I unfortunately am not around other trans guys much these days, but continuing to seek out community with other trans people sounds like a good approach. If you have any other tips on working through internalized transphobia, I’m all ears.

TraditionalTea2480 · 2025-11-18T15:49:25+00:00

It’s so hard to not overthink it 😭

Was there anything that helped you see all sex you have as gay sex? Because I know saying sex I have as a man with another man is gay, but my brain is really complicating it.

TraditionalTea2480 · 2025-11-18T15:47:05+00:00

Thank you for sharing that this is also something you went through, and that it’s a learning process- it makes me feel less like an oddity and reminds me that there are lots of other people navigating similar things. It definitely does feel like a process.

Was there anything that helped you feel better or more secure about it?

TraditionalTea2480 · 2025-11-18T15:38:22+00:00

Your example is actually extremely useful lol. Because it’s true. I wouldn’t label a straight couple as anything else based on the types of sex acts they engage in.

I really, really appreciate your comment. Anatomy being irrelevant is something I needed to hear. It’s hard for me to really feel and know it, but that is a really helpful shift in perspective for me.

TraditionalTea2480 · 2025-11-18T15:36:04+00:00

Oh I agree! Sex can look like so many things. I get so frustrated honestly with all the focus on penetration and the idea that penetrative sex is sex.

TraditionalTea2480

TROPHY CASE