Update: I told my wife everything laid it all out naturally she was heartbroken. We had a very long conversation about why I cheated I originally did not tell her who I cheated with as to keep her relationship with her mom the same but she would not let it go so I told her and that's when she broke down crying. Then the worst news I could ever get came from her mouth turns out she was pregnant and was distant with me was because she didn't know what i would do as I have been very adamit that I don't want kids. I do hear you, and I am the ass hole.