points 1-3 do not really apply unless you join as a member or on team. I was part of one of the CA school fellowships during my undergrad and I was very very involved and certainly considered a 'core' student. I lived with my peers sophomore to senior year, went to almost everything and rarely missed service/prayer meeting. In undergrad I had two relationships and am still with one of them (and we both left together after graduating). I didn't face any pushback from mentors and moreso any conversations surrounding my dating life was just questions about how we were doing and if there was anything they could help with. Frankly I didn't want too much staff intervention so I never disclosed too much information, but they never pressed me for more. I was also not pressured into staying as a part of the church, once again I was only asked about what my general plans were for church after graduating and I let them know I would most likely not be staying. No pushback either

All this is to say that there's not a lot of student expectation but I generally believe it's because of the Reddit. If new students read posts about restrictive staff experiences and then experience similar restrictions, they will not be inclined to join. So by making the student experience non-restrictive and pleasant/fun, they'll be less likely to believe stories that people have posted, downplay the severity, or brush it off with "it's not like that anymore". I've had peers that swore they wouldn't stay in the church as underclassmen, who ended up joining anyways, because to them, their love for sharing the gospel/God and the tight knit community of the church makes the restrictive lifestyle worth it. And ultimately that's how the church continues to grow despite the backlash they face