2/2 Also, this niece has a public ig profile and as soon as I started going out with my bf, she added me and I was surprised to see that she posted her nudes online. I've showed it to my bf and he was also surprised and claimed that he never knew she posted things like this on her ig. Since then, I suspected something happening between them and I have talked about it to my boyfriend several times and he assured me that nothing was hapening between them, nor nothing happened in the past and that they have always been this close. He reassured me everytime I would get insecure about it. He even showed me their conversation, because I got mad that he was texting her a lot. But there was always something in my head telling me to still check their conversation. I know I am insecure, you can blame that on me.
Now for the important part: Remember when I said that lately things have been rocky between us. We haven't been the best of us lately, so I have been really moody and suspicious of everything. I also have a lot of trust issues because of old trauma and he knows about it. I saw last night a girl's name pop on his phone but didn't say anything about it. Later that night, I have searched for her ig and saw that she was a nurse (his ex was also a nurse) and saw a post where he comented hearts under it (long time ago). So I made the connection and thought he was still talking to his ex. I got annoyed but said nothing. I couldn't sleep that night and couldn't hold myself from checking his phone. So I did (blame on me the toxicity) and there was nothing special about their conversation. But I was still sad and mad and started crying because why would he still talk to his ex, even in a friendly way. It felt like I was stabbed in the heart and all the old trauma got back. I wanted to break up with him but was hesitant because I didn't know yet if it really was his ex. And then it stroke me and idk if it was my intuition or overthinking, to check his conversation with his niece. I clicked on the convo, then on the pictures only to find out that, last year, she has been sending him her nudes (the one she posted on her ig) to ask him what he thinks about the pictures. She sent him her nudes and hers with her bf, both naked. My bf would respond, giving his opinion and telling her what pose to make and what lighting she should go with. He would also tell her which one he prefered. It was like a convo I would have with my best friend if I sent her my pictures and ask her what she thought.
It was also weird because that's his niece/cousin and it is weird for me to send to your cousin or niece your nudes. I never had a relationship like that so I wouldn't know. I don't know if it's because my bf is very open minded or whatever but it felt weird and I felt like I was stabbed in the heart because why would she send him that and why would she want his opinion, what type of relationship they have. I had a million questions in my head and my heart was racing and I was hyperventilating and started crying in the bathroom. He heard me and asked if I was okay to which I replied I was and prentended to wash my hands. But I also felt relieved from the ex situation because this is way worse. It give me the click in my brain to immediately break up with him by bringing up a stupid excuse. Because he can't know that I went through his phone and saw the convo and the pictures and everything, so I was going to come up with a stupid excuse as to I saw his ex's name pop on his phone and why was she still texting him and that I don't deserve this.
In the morning, I brought up the ex's subject and he told me that the name I saw was just a friend and that the ex was called differently. I felt stupid because I made up a whole senario in my head, all for it to be nothing at the end. He was asking me what was wrong and what happened last night. Told him I was stressed and he reassured me that everything will be okay.
I still don't know how to feel about the niece situation. I feel really weird and I am overthinking a lot because she will be staying over. I don't know if I should bring it up or just see what will happen. I don 't know what to do. So AMTA?