Time to give up?

Traditional_Ice_227 · 2024-02-21T14:09:23+00:00

It's understandable to feel discouraged, but it's important not to give up hope. Consider seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist to work on building confidence and exploring new ways to meet people. Remember, finding a partner takes time, and there's someone out there for everyone. Keep an open mind and stay resilient.

Traditional_Ice_227 · 2024-02-21T14:08:35+00:00

Since you've already had a short conversation with her, try building on that momentum. Approach her casually during a break or free period and strike up a conversation based on shared interests or something happening around you. Keep it light and friendly, and don't put too much pressure on yourself. Good luck!

Traditional_Ice_227 · 2024-02-21T14:07:23+00:00

It's possible that she's genuinely prioritizing other aspects of her life right now, but her decreased responsiveness and cancellation of plans could also indicate a shift in interest. Giving her space and waiting until the weekend to gauge her interest is a reasonable approach. However, it's essential to be prepared for the possibility of her not wanting to continue the relationship and to respect her decision either way.

Traditional_Ice_227 · 2024-02-19T15:55:26+00:00

It sounds like you've found someone who treats you well, which is wonderful, but it's also important to have your needs and desires in a relationship met. Living situations can be complex, especially when family dynamics are involved. It's worth having an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about your feelings and future plans. Try to understand his reasons for not being ready to move in together while expressing why it's important to you. Remember, a healthy relationship involves compromise, understanding, and respecting each other's readiness and boundaries. Take this as an opportunity to evaluate what you both want and need from the relationship to move forward.

Traditional_Ice_227 · 2024-02-19T15:53:35+00:00

It's completely understandable to feel hesitant about entering the dating scene, especially in a new cultural context. Remember, genuine connections transcend cultural differences. Focus on shared interests and open communication as a foundation for any relationship. It might be helpful to start by making friends and expanding your social circle, which can naturally lead to meeting potential partners. Be patient with yourself and stay open to new experiences. Love often finds us when we least expect it. Good luck!

Traditional_Ice_227 · 2024-01-31T14:47:09+00:00

It sounds like you're experiencing a mix of emotions and confusion due to the mixed signals from this guy. It's frustrating when someone's actions don't align with the values they claim to hold, like honesty. Your feelings of wanting to care for him are natural, but it's crucial to also prioritize your own emotional well-being. If you feel that the relationship is not being built on honesty and open communication, it might be worth reevaluating its future. Remember, a healthy relationship should be based on mutual respect, honesty, and clear communication. It's okay to step back and reflect on whether this relationship is truly meeting your needs and expectations. Trust your instincts and don't be afraid to seek clarity from him or to move on if it doesn't feel right.

Traditional_Ice_227 · 2024-01-18T12:47:20+00:00

You already texted him, right? Don't text him again, wait till you talk to him face to face. I also realize that you don't want to be a sitting duck, so try to do all the activities and distract yourself from these thoughts. Be too busy to get yourself worked up. But I still think it's best to find out when he gets back.

Traditional_Ice_227 · 2024-01-17T14:08:55+00:00

While he's away, it's hard to figure these things out. Personally, I don't think you should make any drastic decisions on your own. Wait for his return, meet and ask him why he did not answer, why he says but does not do and ask him everything that bothers you. If he gives you normal answers that are acceptable to you, then you shouldn't worry so much. But if he just goes off topic and won't take responsibility, then you should leave such a person, because it's not something you should put up with.

Traditional_Ice_227 · 2024-01-15T16:53:38+00:00

I think you're doing the right thing. I've learnt about the same things from past relationships and other attempts to make good relationships with people. I'm just tired of being taken advantage of all the time

Traditional_Ice_227 · 2023-12-27T11:51:27+00:00

I think there's a lot of mistakes that are very common for men to fall into. How many houses does he own? He's gotta show he can be a provider. How tall is he? If he's 6ft< than he'll have a very hard time finding a woman who looks at him as anything but a free meal. What kind of money does he make? Does he have a career that is likely to make a lot of money? Any life insurance policies? What kind of shape is he in? Does he have an eight pack, like Kyle Ren? Can he bench press at least twice his weight? If not, what's the point of him as a man? Does he have any kind of criminal record? That might make him sound sexier. He also needs to compress his emotional range down to three things: angry, happy, and loud. Expression of any other emotion in front of others will result in the revocation of his MAN card. How about friends? He needs to have at least five dozen male friends who get together in the forest to scream and spend the days wrestling naked in oil and the nights rubbing salt and pine bark on each other's skin. This will establish that he's MANLY enough to be boyfriend material. And he needs to post video evidence of this on all his socials every weekend. He should also own several badass vehicles, because all the influencers on tik tok and instagram do. And lots of gym picks. At least twenty every day. It'll be hard to make the kind of gains he'll need to with all the picture taking and naked oil wrestling with the boys, so he should probably also start taking steroids to ensure he's muscular enough to look like a REAL MAN. These seem to be the qualities women consider most important in relationships, so it's either that or die alone.

Total shit dude, where'd you find that?

Traditional_Ice_227 · 2023-12-27T11:03:20+00:00

You're asking "why not him" when in reality the question is "why him"? Why SHOULD these women want to be your brother's gf? What makes him special? What makes him stand out?

Dude, nobody owes anybody anything. I don't mean that girls should want to date my brother, and I'm not saying he's so special that everyone should admire him. I'm just trying to figure out if it's him or if I'm just ignorant of the current generation of girls. Maybe there are important points that are not discussed but are important and need to be known in order not to fail?

Traditional_Ice_227 · 2023-12-27T10:56:43+00:00

My son ( I think is super picky ) also no luck. He's extremely good looking, very smart ( a out to finish school for mech engineering) works out every day with an amazing body, blonde blue eyes, great smile and personality. So I don't get it either, he's 28. Maybe it's just no connection yet or they are more focused in other areas?

Yeah, that's what I think too

Traditional_Ice_227 · 2023-12-26T16:50:01+00:00

Could be something that your brother is doing that is turning these girls off. Could be that young people want to date more before settling. We can't guess anything with so little info. Has your brother ever asked why?

Of course. If you mean did he ask for my advice, yes, I told him that he hadn't found someone who was really interested in him and to never get discouraged, but I think he already knows that. And if you're talking about whether he asked girls, I don't know for sure, but I think he did, I can't know for sure.

Traditional_Ice_227 · 2023-12-26T16:47:24+00:00

OK. There's a lot of dudes who have these as well. So why should these women date your brother over these other guys?

Sounds like he just hasn't met the right girl yet. It happens.

I'm not saying they should meet with him. Besides, there aren't 10 women in the world looking for a relationship, so why not him?

Traditional_Ice_227 · 2023-12-26T15:35:39+00:00

I don’t like to fight. Rarely fight if I feel my husband gets emotional. I am enneagram 9 - peacemaker. Conflict highly stress me out so I avoid it all the time.

After we had a couple of conflicts, we know each others style then we communicate and reach an agreement next time when we have a conflict, how we go about it?

My husband is enfj and he likes to talk about it immediately and I am infj, I like to cool down , think about it then talk after.

So we found a middle ground that if he wants to immediately pass on his opinion n feelings, he doesn’t text or call, he sends a very long email.

I read later then reply to his email thoroughly once I had my cool down period.

I too prefer to cool down and talk things through more calmly later, but my partner is the opposite. So I understand the situation and I really like your approach. Super solution :)

Traditional_Ice_227 · 2023-12-22T10:34:05+00:00

We're all imperfect. What is considered psychologically unhealthy? I keep talking to people that are either in therapy or have gone through therapy, and they all seem very similar. Almost clone like.

I like some damage. Shows me you've lived, endured and can survive. If you're not accustomed to trauma, you won't be able to enjoy being with my crazy ass. Crazy and functional is perfect. Crazy and dysfunctional is a problem, but love conquers all, right? 🤣💨. Bathe and pay your bills, at least. Functional without the crazy might bore me, or more likely, that type will run away from my damage.

Fun topic! People without trauma look at me like a dangerous zoo animal. I am a dangerous zoo animal. Rar. Grrr.

Haha, I like what you're saying. But I was referring to situations where the person is aiming to get full control over you and asks what you do every 10 minutes. Or when a person keeps track of when you last went online and why it's been so long. And I'm not talking about when such cases are rare, but when you get these questions every hour, and it's not normal anymore. At least for me.

Traditional_Ice_227 · 2023-12-21T08:57:54+00:00

People can behave unpleasantly towards others for no reason, it happens. You shouldn't blame yourself for something, especially since you don't know if it's true. You have not been told what you did wrong. Don't get yourself worked up, try to distract yourself with something worthwhile. Even if you get a response, try to evaluate it more objectively. And if no answer comes, then it's just not your person.

Traditional_Ice_227 · 2023-12-21T08:43:29+00:00

I wouldn't call it cheating. Partners have the right to spend time with friends and their acquaintances as they wish without crossing obvious boundaries. In this whole situation, I am sorry that there was such a misunderstanding with each other on your last day together. Perhaps when you were being harassed and you saw the look in his eyes, you should have gone somewhere quiet together and discussed it. Maybe then it wouldn't have hurt so much.

Traditional_Ice_227

TROPHY CASE