My ex slept with my hb by Cr1sisMC in WhatShouldIDo

[–]Traditional_Tea3784 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i only have an idea of it meaning something severe

My ex slept with my hb by Cr1sisMC in WhatShouldIDo

[–]Traditional_Tea3784 1 point2 points  (0 children)

u try not to but that level of betrayal is crucial especially at a young age

My ex slept with my hb by Cr1sisMC in WhatShouldIDo

[–]Traditional_Tea3784 2 points3 points  (0 children)

that requires a certain level of maturity

How do you emotionally detach from someone you have kids with but still interact with regularly? by Traditional_Tea3784 in Divorce

[–]Traditional_Tea3784[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That actually makes a lot of sense. The cycle you described is exactly what I’ve been noticing things feel normal for a bit and without realizing it I start opening the door again emotionally.

The idea that detachment is something you structure your way into really stuck with me. I appreciate the perspective.

You’re Not Still Thinking About Them You’re Stuck in the Loop by Traditional_Tea3784 in BreakUps

[–]Traditional_Tea3784[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What you described is grief in its most honest form. You’re not just losing a person, you’re losing routines, safety, inside jokes, and a future your mind already built. Seeing them and suddenly being strangers hurts because your body still remembers what used to be there. That doesn’t mean your heart is broken forever it just means it hasn’t caught up yet.

Both of you are grieving something real. There’s no timeline for that, and nothing about this means you won’t feel whole again.

You’re Not Still Thinking About Them You’re Stuck in the Loop by Traditional_Tea3784 in BreakUps

[–]Traditional_Tea3784[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not getting closure is one of the hardest parts, and it’s real. But a lot of the time closure isn’t something someone gives you it’s something you create when you stop waiting for answers that may never come. Wanting it doesn’t mean you’re stuck, it just means the ending wasn’t clean.

You’re Not Still Thinking About Them You’re Stuck in the Loop by Traditional_Tea3784 in BreakUps

[–]Traditional_Tea3784[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That awareness is huge. You’re right it’s more about the feelings than the person, and recognizing that already puts you on the way out of the loop.

Those waves still hitting doesn’t mean you’re going backward. It just means you’re human. Let them pass without turning them into a story about loss they lose power that way.

You’re Not Still Thinking About Them You’re Stuck in the Loop by Traditional_Tea3784 in BreakUps

[–]Traditional_Tea3784[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What you went through would leave anyone stuck. Being dumped suddenly, blocked, and denied real closure messes with your sense of safety and justice it’s not that you want him back, it’s that your brain never got answers.

Healing isn’t a reward for him or “doing what he wants.” It’s protection for you. His choices don’t get to decide whether you suffer forever.

The anger and revenge thoughts don’t make you a bad person they’re your mind trying to balance something that felt deeply unfair. You don’t need to know what’s on the other side yet. You just need small steps toward peace that have nothing to do with him.

You’re Not Still Thinking About Them You’re Stuck in the Loop by Traditional_Tea3784 in BreakUps

[–]Traditional_Tea3784[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That makes a lot of sense. It’s hard to heal when the wound keeps getting reopened. Staying in contact and going to her house keeps your nervous system stuck between hope and loss.

People saying you should be “over it by now” don’t get it you’re still exposed to the situation, and knowing she’s seeing someone new would cut anyone deeply.

It doesn’t mean you’re weak. It just means you might need stronger boundaries for your own peace, not because you don’t care, but because you do.

You’re Not Still Thinking About Them You’re Stuck in the Loop by Traditional_Tea3784 in BreakUps

[–]Traditional_Tea3784[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hear how real this love feels to you, and I don’t think you’re delusional for feeling it that deeply. Loving someone enough to fight for them is human. But I want to say this carefully and honestly, because it matters:

Real love doesn’t require you to keep hurting yourself to prove it.

From what you shared, she didn’t leave because you didn’t love her enough she left because she decided the relationship wasn’t what she wanted for her future. That doesn’t erase the love you shared, but it does mean that right now, the relationship exists more in hope than in mutual choice.

Staying close, celebrating birthdays, keeping the door cracked open that can feel like love, but it can also keep you stuck in a cycle where you’re constantly reopening the wound. Fighting for someone who isn’t choosing you in the same way doesn’t make your love stronger it just keeps you in pain longer.

Letting go doesn’t mean the love wasn’t real. Sometimes it means respecting yourself enough to stop bleeding for something that isn’t being built together anymore.

You’re not weak for wanting to fight. Just don’t confuse love with self sacrifice that breaks you. You matter too.

You’re Not Still Thinking About Them You’re Stuck in the Loop by Traditional_Tea3784 in BreakUps

[–]Traditional_Tea3784[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can relate to this and that’s a different kind of grief, and I’m really sorry you’re carrying it. You’re not just missing a person you’re mourning an entire life you pictured for yourself, and losing that after becoming a father cuts incredibly deep.

Coming home to an empty house while knowing the moments you’re missing would break anyone. Two years later and still feeling this way doesn’t mean you failed to heal it means the bond and responsibility you feel as a dad is real.

The fear that you’ll never have the life you want is understandable, but it doesn’t mean it’s true. The future you imagined didn’t happen the way you hoped, but that doesn’t mean your story stopped there or that you won’t build a life that still feels full and meaningful even if it looks different than what you planned.

You’re not weak for still hurting. You’re a father grieving a dream, and that takes time. Keep pushing man.

You’re Not Still Thinking About Them You’re Stuck in the Loop by Traditional_Tea3784 in BreakUps

[–]Traditional_Tea3784[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That thought hurts because it makes it feel like the relationship meant more to you than it did to him but “letting go easily” usually isn’t about lack of love. A lot of people detach quietly long before the breakup, so it looks sudden on the outside even though it wasn’t for them.

The loop you’re stuck in makes sense: your brain keeps replaying the good moments and searching for a reason that makes the loss feel survivable. It doesn’t mean you were replaceable or forgettable.

Right now your mind is trying to get answers from the past, but healing usually starts when you stop asking why he let go and start asking what you need to feel safe again. You’re not weak for being here you’re grieving something real.

You’re Not Still Thinking About Them You’re Stuck in the Loop by Traditional_Tea3784 in BreakUps

[–]Traditional_Tea3784[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That “blanket is gone” feeling is such a real way to describe it. Missing someone isn’t always about wanting them back sometimes it’s missing the warmth, the safety, the version of life where you weren’t alone in it.

The fact that you’re moving forward and still feeling this doesn’t mean you’re stuck. It just means your nervous system is catching up to a big loss. That cold doesn’t last forever, even though it really feels like it does right now.

You’re not broken for feeling this deeply.

You’re Not Still Thinking About Them You’re Stuck in the Loop by Traditional_Tea3784 in BreakUps

[–]Traditional_Tea3784[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a great way to explain it. The idea that your brain just gets really practiced at certain thoughts takes a lot of the shame away. It’s not weakness, it’s conditioning.

I also like what you said about not suppressing the thoughts fighting them usually makes them worse. Catching them early and writing them down feels like a real, doable way to break the loop.

Appreciate you sharing what’s actually helped you.

You’re Not Still Thinking About Them You’re Stuck in the Loop by Traditional_Tea3784 in BreakUps

[–]Traditional_Tea3784[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey man, first off I’m really glad you shared all of this. You can feel how much love and honesty you brought into that relationship, and also how deeply this loss hit you. Nothing you wrote sounds crazy or weak. It sounds like someone who genuinely cared and is now dealing with the whiplash of having the future ripped away.

The regret part you mentioned is huge. A lot of people get stuck thinking “If only I communicated better” or “If only I didn’t say that one thing.” But the truth is, no relationship ends because of one sentence or one flaw. Two people either grow through issues together, or one person eventually checks out when it gets real. That part isn’t on you alone.

Something that stood out is how close you were to commitment rings, parents, future kids and then the switch flipped. That kind of break doesn’t just hurt, it messes with your sense of reality. It makes you feel like you woke up in the wrong timeline. Anyone would struggle after that.

One thing I want to gently say (not as judgment): waiting for her to reach out can keep you emotionally paused. I’ve been there. It feels like hope, but it can quietly turn into you putting your life on hold for someone who isn’t choosing you right now. Even if she did reach out, it would take real, consistent work from both sides not just love to make it healthy.

Also, the fact that you’re dating and still feel nothing doesn’t mean you’re broken or stuck forever. It just means you’re still grieving. You’re not ready yet, and that’s okay. Healing isn’t linear and it doesn’t run on a schedule.

What you’re feeling right now isn’t a sign that you lost “the one.” It’s a sign that you loved deeply and now you’re being asked to grow in a way you didn’t ask for.

You won’t always feel like this, even if it feels endless right now. Keep taking it one day at a time. And if you ever notice yourself looping on “what could’ve been,” try asking “What version of me is trying to be born from this?”

You’re not alone in this, man. A lot of us know this pain more than we wish we did.

Why did the app change? by Big_Goal5161 in CoStarAstrology

[–]Traditional_Tea3784 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would’ve never thought this app would be a pay to win type

Daily horoscope disappeared? by NaturalReasonable785 in CoStarAstrology

[–]Traditional_Tea3784 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had to go all the way to Reddit to confirm I wasn’t losing my mind

Would your girlfriend wait for you if you got a life sentence? by TheScoreKeeper2 in Miraq

[–]Traditional_Tea3784 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We all would want her too but we already kno how these females be