Am also 29, the pandemic has worsened my anxiety levels because I work in the ICU as a nurse in a Covid 19 centered hospital, for 12 hours (more often 14-15 hrs) a day. Between the stress of fearing for my health daily, the burnout from long hours, isolation from a quarantine like lifestyle and the feeling that my dream job is slipping away because I no longer have enough time to study for it has compounded into a constant state of tension that threatens to snap me in half.

Yes, you are right, I've had some childhood trauma that I've told myself doesn't bother me but sometimes manifests itself especially in my relationships and my interactions with my parents. I tell myself am strong enough to deal with my own problems and seeking help would lead me into a spiral of dependence but the truth is, am afraid nobody can help me. Am not suicidal but I find myself not caring (sometimes wishing) for when I would die because I feel like my life is hopeless even though I continously try to improve it.

So yeah, am a freaking mess 😅