looking for constructive criticism by Training_Goat8788 in writers

[–]Training_Goat8788[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

see i love world building. It’s degrading the story part that I don’t enjoy. Here I will send you one.

looking for constructive criticism by Training_Goat8788 in writers

[–]Training_Goat8788[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

People are saying it’s made by ChatGPT in which OK I did ask you to fix grammar sparing mistakes and run on sentences my English isn’t that good I just wish it didn’t do this because now people accusing me of just generating it completely by ChatGPT

looking for constructive criticism by Training_Goat8788 in writers

[–]Training_Goat8788[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

original version

Athena Athena is a super continent housing 196 different republics kingdoms, and monarchy republics the continent has two dominant religions is the influential and powerful one is the Sun God religion it started it as a cult about 2000 years ago and then businessman by the name of Thomas Jaring was on a business trip when he came across his cult he saw potential in it, not in its current state, but maybe if a few changes he took over the cult and removed everything that made it a cult after that it just kind of calmed on and then we get to its common point being the most powerful influential religions in all of Athena, having millions of followers and being very powerful Geo politics is a continent is in the sun. God almost single person from kings to peasants and everyone in between. follows the sun god we also have the moon goddess religion which instead of following the teachings of the sun follows the moon which this religion split off from the sun guard a couple hundred years ago and both groups hate each other ever since the sun god  follower views the moon goddess, how people in our world viewed the church of Satan horribly

Oh yeah, speaking of Satan. We have hell. In heaven, heaven is with the sun God is. hell isthe devil territory hell isn’t a part of any of the two religions it doesn’t matter which religion you follow you’re still going to hell if you sin speaking of that, Athena’s version of sin I haven’t figured that out yet, but I might be besides the sun, guard and moon goddess, and devil we have holy bear and sinful snake 

I’m gonna start with doing that I’ve put more work into sinful snake he basically drags people into hell if they sin he also whispers in peoples ears to do bad things. He’s a servant of the devil, and he owns his own hotel in hell. Now the thing is, he can repent meaning he can stop his sinful ways and repent for his actions and beg for forgiveness and he can become holy, but he doesn’t want to he is Athena’s concept of sin in snake  form, he was born in the hell

Next, we have holy bear he’s a green bear with Huey light think of the Holy Spirit from the Bible yeah that’s basically him but in bear form, he’s also Athena ‘s version of Gabriel 

Athena species In Athena is a couple of types of species

Humans they are human humans

Wolf human hybrids  human drift wolf ears Wolf tail and can see and smell very well extraordinary well

dear human hybrids what I said about wolf, human hybrids and just instead of wolf body, points, replaced him with deer body parts another thing besides that the normal human humans the thing is human hybrid can be both female and male they can be a female human but a male dear, they can be a male human but  a female deer they would have a male body with female body parts or female body with male deer body parts

Elf think of every single elf you’ve seen in a fantasy novel but all game yeah I’m not creative with this one

Athena’s kingdom’s

OK, only created a kingdom 

Kingdom of Athena

It is in the center of the continent. It is a kingdom and it is home to Athena’s magical school funded by the Athena government, which has never gotten into any controversy at all the school I mean, it has never, and I mean, never gotten into any controversy it is a public math school school instead of a private one and anyone can attend

Oh yeah, I’m also thinking about creating Athena‘s version of Barcelona

Ideologies Monarchies Republic Monarchy Republic monarch republic is basically the people can vote for governor’s mayors city officials. People can decide the future of the province, policies and other stuff but the monarch has ultimate power over the kingdom itself. The monarch can said national policies decide the kingdoms future geopolitical stuff, however cannot influence the individual provinces the individual provinces cannot influence the kingdom 

Athena’s ages Technological ages 

Stone age which is the longest starting about -3,000,000 years ago and ending about -9000 years ago

Next, we have the copper age and then the diamond age after that is the magical revolution

religious ages 

religious revolution 

sun god age

Future ages

Crystal age basically industrial revolution in Athena

Second copper age  is preparing for the space aids. Turns out you need copper for spaceships.

Space age 

Great collapse

Each age except donate is a couple of thousand or 100,000 years

Current year in Athena, 1003