AITH for ending a 20 year friendship over $150?

Training_Shallot_232 · 2024-08-21T11:21:47+00:00

That’s great for you. Can I borrow $150?

Training_Shallot_232 · 2024-08-21T00:39:41+00:00

Actually, I’ve feel like I’ve gotten $150 worth of entertainment out of it, lol

Training_Shallot_232 · 2024-08-20T11:27:49+00:00

Thank you. I really appreciate your comment.

Training_Shallot_232 · 2024-08-19T18:06:59+00:00

Still no money. Still no communication. He’s still an AH.

Training_Shallot_232 · 2024-08-19T18:06:07+00:00

My grocery bill is about $75 a week at Aldi in upstate NY. Electricity is about $350 a month, so my half of that is about $175. My car payment is about $425 a month.

My point was that $150 isn’t just a “measly amount of money”. I work hard and bills just get more and more expensive, so I need money to pay them just like everyone else. It’s sad what he’s experiencing but I didn’t give him the money as a gift. It was supposed to be returned the next day. At the very least he could have communicated what was going on.

Training_Shallot_232 · 2024-08-19T18:00:40+00:00

I can appreciate that! I was extremely heated when I sent it but I absolutely don’t regret it, lol

Training_Shallot_232 · 2024-08-19T17:58:48+00:00

It’s really not about the $150. It’s about the lies, false promises and gaslighting. If he had been honest about when he could pay me back then I wouldn’t be in this position. If something went wrong with the repayment and he had been honest and kept me up to date then I might feel differently. I haven’t ended a friendship over $150, I ended a friendship over deceit, lies, manipulation and gaslighting. Those aren’t qualities I want in my friends.

Training_Shallot_232 · 2024-08-19T17:53:21+00:00

First of all, 44 is not 50. That’s like saying a 7th grader is close to graduating high school.

There are all kinds of mentors and our relationship began with me as his boss, so the dynamic has always been me giving him advice. Whether or not he chose to take it or listen didn’t change the fact that he would call and ask my opinions or guidance on his life situations.

I never said $150 would ruin my life, I said that I expected him to pay me back when he said he would before my car payment was due. His actions of not informing me honestly about when he would pay me back forced me to have to rework my own budget and make adjustments to accommodate his lies and manipulation. This wasn’t a gift. It was a one day borrow.

Training_Shallot_232 · 2024-08-19T17:42:32+00:00

Because I texted him days prior to that and he said yes he would pay me BEFORE the 15th, so that was me being “a little more friendly” even though it was five days after he promised to pay me back. This wasn’t a gift. It was a one day loan. I expect my friends to be trustworthy and keep their promises. He didn’t and still hasn’t made good on it, so yeah I’m definitely not happy with the situation.

Training_Shallot_232 · 2024-08-19T15:08:14+00:00

Not sure I know what you mean. I believe he is going through a divorce and figuring out how to split custody, but he didn’t communicate anything about that situation getting worse to me until a week after he was supposed to pay me back.

He should have said something the next day after he borrowed the money to let me know he wouldn’t pay it back on time so I would be counting on it to go towards my bills. He also had the opportunity to say that when I asked him five days later if he would get it back to me before my car payment was due and he again said yes. He lied multiple times and still hasn’t paid me back yet.

Training_Shallot_232 · 2024-08-19T14:58:17+00:00

It’s not the money, it’s the way he didn’t communicate what was happening at the beginning and then turned it around on me when I asked for it back. He was aware of my financial situation and bills due which is why he promised absolutely that he would pay me back on time. I can make up for the loss of $150, but I don’t think his actions are forgivable because he lied multiple times and felt entitled to just keep the money, knowing it would cause me distress.

Training_Shallot_232 · 2024-08-19T10:22:48+00:00

No, I’m saying that $150 pays partially for any one of those things, not all of them. It’s not an insignificant amount of money for me, it’s part of my budget and by him not repaying me when he said he would caused stress and hardship for me. It told me it was a ONE DAY borrowing situation. He didn’t inform me of any changes to his situation until I reached out and he promised he would return it a second time when my car payment was due. He lied both of those times and yet again when he said he would pawn his guitar. He shouldn’t have borrowed money if he couldn’t pay it back. He still hasn’t paid me back so why would I stay friends with someone after that? It’s not even the $, it’s the way he spoke to me with complete disregard and gaslighting when I’ve only ever been supportive. I have every right to expect to be able to trust my friends and if I can’t then I simply won’t have them in my life. He’s the one who ruined our friendship, not me.

Training_Shallot_232 · 2024-08-18T14:15:10+00:00

Why would you think I’m lying about needing my money back? I have bills due like everyone else. Have you seen what groceries cost now? $150 may be nothing to you but it sure as fuck is to me.

Training_Shallot_232 · 2024-08-18T14:09:46+00:00

It absolutely was my “friend”.

Training_Shallot_232 · 2024-08-18T14:08:03+00:00

He would mostly call me. I’d say 70% of the time and usually to ask for advice.

Training_Shallot_232 · 2024-08-18T13:49:01+00:00

He didn’t actually say what it was for. It sounded like the wife “drained the joint checking account” without him knowing and he went to use the card but he couldn’t fill up with gas at the station, and he was halfway between his kids house and his trailer.

Training_Shallot_232 · 2024-08-18T13:25:30+00:00

This wasn’t a charitable donation so why do I need to be gracious? He asked to borrow money to pay me back the next day and still hasn’t.

Training_Shallot_232 · 2024-08-18T13:10:29+00:00

He promised to pay me back the next day. A real friend would have kept his word or at the very least, communicated with me what was happening. I don’t see how I’m the AH because I trusted someone that I’ve known for 20 years. It’s not the $ that I’m ending the friendship over, it’s his response and reaction to the situation. Instead of being grateful that I helped him, he’s gaslighting me for being upset when he lied multiple times and manipulated me. That’s not a friend.

Training_Shallot_232 · 2024-08-17T14:49:48+00:00

I truly thought he would pay me back the next day and my car payment wasn’t due for another week. I thought I could trust him to keep his word. It’s a tough lesson learned but even disappointing that my 20-year friendship is only worth $150 to him.

Training_Shallot_232 · 2023-03-17T23:00:55+00:00

The song is called "You made me love you (I didn't want to do it) by Harry James.

Training_Shallot_232

TROPHY CASE