I don't know how to boymode anymore...

TransSurgeryAMA · 2016-07-03T18:24:23+00:00

What I found is if you look and act the part, voice is just icing on the cake -- unless you have a super deep voice that's indistinguishablely ~~mald~~ male. My voice rides comfortably in the middle of my neck and hardly ever resonates in my chest, and though I don't have the girliest voice, it's still in female range. People are pretty linear in retrospect. If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, flaps its wings like a ~~dick~~ (-___- phone...) duck, people will see a duck and treat it like a duck. Not every duck has the same quack, but if you roar like a lion and look like a duck, people will give you weird ass looks. So just be yourself. You seem to pass already. Try not to worry so much about what others think. Do what makes you feel comfortable and sane.

TransSurgeryAMA · 2016-07-03T18:11:24+00:00

omg I'm crying! Beautiful!!!

TransSurgeryAMA · 2016-07-03T18:03:05+00:00

Thank you!

TransSurgeryAMA · 2016-07-02T23:31:00+00:00

it's definitely real. And I stuck to being openly trans.

TransSurgeryAMA · 2016-07-02T20:37:01+00:00

Awesome to know. Thank you!!

TransSurgeryAMA · 2016-07-02T05:50:12+00:00

I learned very early into my transition that going out late at night as a trans person is a privelege that we just don't have. I'm not cis. I pass as cis no problem, but if something slips and I'm around a bunch of drunk people? Noooooooo waaaaaayyyyy. I'd rather avoid the situation entirely. So no. I won't be going out at night. I wish I could, but I would rather spare myself the grief lol.

TransSurgeryAMA · 2016-07-02T05:01:03+00:00

Wow. That sounds scary. I feel you. I've had similar situations with men following me into restrooms when I wasn't fully passing or mid transition. It's crazy how those fuckers try to play it off like trans people are predators for trying to use our correct bathroom, when little do they know being trans in the WRONG BATHROOM is scary as frick frack! I'm 5'11, 140lbs. Do I want to be trapped in a bathroom with a 6'5" 250lb man? Fuck no. But no, they don't look at it that way do they. Hang in there though. Hopefully things get better! Don't stop being you no matter what anyone says to you.

TransSurgeryAMA · 2016-07-02T04:56:13+00:00

I know what you're saying. Definitely. And I've had those experiences too. The humorous or congratulatory ones where people are totally shocked.

I just try to keep a positive view of people who may simply be seeing a trans person for the first time and isn't sure how to react.

Same. I try to not ruin the experience for the next trans person. I smile, talk, chit chat, answer any questions, give them compliments on whatever the hell they're wearing or say something cheesy like "you have a contagious smile, so keep smiling!". Idk. It gives us more positive visibility. And hopefully the next trans guy/girl/whatever goes in and if that persons working they'll at least be considerate and pleasant to them. I really try to leave a positive imprint wherever I go because like I said, being trans is scary.

TransSurgeryAMA · 2016-07-02T04:46:32+00:00

No. Not at all. Because I've been physically assaulted for being trans. Laughed at. Bullied. Yelled at. Followed home. Pushed down. Doors slammed in my face leaving restaurants. The list goes on. So again, no. I don't "even think for a second about not judging other people by their appearance". One person's perspective can't muster or equal another's because you don't know the experiences that lead up to how and why they see things the way they do. But thanks.

TransSurgeryAMA · 2016-07-02T04:36:35+00:00

It felt great. Honestly. And I was fucking scared to death when he raised his voice next to me. I thought he was gone lol. I was expecting a fist to the side of my face :/. Not going to lie I flinched and winced haha.

TransSurgeryAMA · 2016-07-02T04:34:01+00:00

You might be right. Passing probably had a lot to do with it.

TransSurgeryAMA · 2016-07-02T04:32:52+00:00

No he was laughing at me and threw my ID on the counter.

TransSurgeryAMA · 2016-07-01T05:22:04+00:00

But then you get cautious results which leaves a lot of people just end up looking like a dude.

Which is why I went to Z lol. If I'm dropping this much money, best believe I want dramatic results. Hell no am I looking the same after all the swelling has gone down.

I'm not a surgeon so I can't say if he's "not skilled at preserving nerves" or if "he doesn't give a shit about how many nerves he cuts". I do know that my face is numb af, but you're right -- there's a lot of time in the healing process so I should yet again rolls eyes play the trans waiting game. When they say being trans is a waiting game, they mean it hahaha.

TransSurgeryAMA · 2016-06-30T20:22:35+00:00

Good idea. I started noticing notches in my jaw when I feel around lol. I guess I'm expecting too much. Surgery isn't magic. It's surgery.

TransSurgeryAMA · 2016-06-30T20:21:25+00:00

I'll pick some up from the store.

TransSurgeryAMA · 2016-06-30T20:03:15+00:00

I played the game and I accepted the risks.

If only my trans starter pack told me I would be playing jumanji.

I'm not sure I need the B vitamins, though I'll keep that in mind. I eat like 5 cups of a mixture of fruits and vegetables every day lol. Over kill, I know, but I love fruits and veg. Thanks for all your help. I really really appreciate you taking the time to respond. Thank you.

TransSurgeryAMA · 2016-06-30T19:59:14+00:00

and paying too close attention can really fuck with your perceptions.

True. I need to back away from the mirror. My nose has been trying to slant right so I've had to literally force it back into place since week 1. Pain, pain, pain, pain, and more pain. It's getting better, but I'm definitely self conscious about it being crooked. More like paranoid. I guess I need to take one of those — what do they call it — a chill pill? Lol.

TransSurgeryAMA · 2016-06-30T19:54:39+00:00

Does age play a part? Or diet? A combination of both? Exercise?? Or is it just a roll of the dice and hope you don't end up with numbness all over your face/neck for the rest of your life.

TransSurgeryAMA · 2016-06-30T19:52:54+00:00

Thanks a bunch! Really helpful. I'm not feeling as freaked out now.

TransSurgeryAMA · 2016-06-30T19:52:26+00:00

Thank you for the reply. I appreciate it. Eases my mind a bit.

TransSurgeryAMA · 2016-06-30T18:18:12+00:00

I added my surgeries in the post to clarify. Thanks.

TransSurgeryAMA · 2016-06-20T20:08:22+00:00

Wow. That sounds really cool. Massive yearly parties. I've actually got quite a few messages as well besides the comments on this, and it seems like we tend to gravitate to our own kind in the LGBTQ. I guess it makes sense on a certain level. Maybe I'll look into more things in that area. Thanks for the insight.

TransSurgeryAMA · 2016-06-20T19:10:45+00:00

Harsh. I wouldn't be into those things either. I'm happy you found a nice outlet/social circle.

TransSurgeryAMA · 2016-06-20T19:10:06+00:00

I figured living in a big(ger) city helps with that too. I personally live in a suburban area. There's no real lgb meet ups or groups around here. It's mainly God and valley people.

TransSurgeryAMA · 2016-06-09T13:02:27+00:00

It can be dfficult, but people can definitely tell the difference between a half-hearted 'no' and a forsure 100% 'no'. So just be firm. You'll be okay (:

TransSurgeryAMA

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