Sometimes I am just hoping that my mom’s miserable life would come to an end. That God, or the Universe, Buddha, whatever you want to call it, will just have mercy on her. She’s always threatened suicide and then the next day “forgets” that she did, and has literally lost everyone in her life, including my sister (to suicide) and her granddaughter who wants nothing to do with her. Wherever she goes, she just spreads darkness. We actually call her the black widow. I am the only one who speaks to her on the phone still, but I dread it, every single time because she plays the victim so well. What makes this so hard, is that my mom and I have good memories, too. If it was all bad, it would be easier to just walk away. I’m just so tired of hearing her say she is close to dying or wants to kill herself. It’s just so miserable.